(Closed) BM issues

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2007

One of my bridesmaids has been giving me a lot of trouble.  She was wonderful when I first asked her to be a BM.  Now things are crazy!  My MOH lives a few hours away so once a month all of use set a date to get together to discuss wedding stuff.  This difficult BM never shows up and then she tells me that she feels left out!  Well maybe if she decided to show up at least once she wouldn’t feel that way!  Her dress came in the other day an it is too small for her.  The bridal shop offered to order her a new one but she said no and stated that she would lose the weight just in time for the wedding!  I’m getting really nervous now.  The wedding is in about 50 days and I may be short a BM just because she won’t take the proper actions with ordering a new dress!  Any other stories out there?  I’m ready for all of this to be done and over with!

Post # 4
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have no idea who I’m going to pick. That’s my biggest problem right now. The Boy knew immediately who he’d ask, but all of my friends are already tired of being bridesmaids. It seems like such a bigger hassle for the girls than the guys — dresses, shoes, hair, makeup…I’d rather not have a bridal party at all, at this point!

Post # 5
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2007

It’s very common. I went through a similar situation. Your girlfriends may make best friends but disappointing bridesmaids. Honestly, as icky as it may be, the best thing to do is nip in the bud and confront the bridesmaid about it. There is just so much going on at the actual wedding day that you won’t want to get stuck dealing with an issue on that very day. If they are your friend, they should be willing to listen and you don’t need to be afraid to be honest with them.

Post # 6
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

i have a BM who told us the moment we asked her that she MUST have a dress with breast support & tattoo coverage, and who she HAS to walk with!!!  All before she said yes… and she’s FAMILY! 

Post # 7
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2007

Bridemaids are tough.  And being the bride in the middle of it all is even worse.  With so much already going on, having to worry about one of your closest friends can cause so much unnecessary stress.  You have two option, ignore it and hope for the best, or address the problem.  It will probably not go well.  I had a bridemaids YELL at me! 

So I just gave one simple rule: If your dress doesn’t fit the day of the wedding, you can either go naked or not at all.  – and I had to implement that rule because I had 3/5 girls have issues with not fitting into their dresses and refusing to get it altered.  I recommended SPANX for them, and they zipped their dresses, and took it off once the toasts were done.

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