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Ok Bees, how do I handle this?! My younger sister who lives in North Carolina (I live in Iowa) just sent me a picture of her new hair color. It is BRIGHT RED! Like Ariel the mermaid red! No joke! And my wedding is in 50 days!
Obviously it will tone down a little bit but not by much. I don't want to be a bridezilla and have been really undemanding of my bridesmaids but I really really don't want my sister to have bright red hair in my wedding pictures. Should I tell her to dye it something more mainstream before the wedding or just deal with it? Normally I wouldn't care because she is a total free spirit and routinely does different things with her beauty and fashion but she obviously didn't think about this decision first. Ugh!
Does it match your colors at least? lol.. I don't think you can ask her to dye it.
Depending on the kind of dye she used it may be totally not colored by then. As she is your sister I might talk to her and ASK her however as much as it sucks, she is your sister, and an adult and can do what she likes with her hair. But def. talk to her. As you said she may not have at all thought about it so she may dye it a "normal" color for the wedding.
I would be pissed if my sister did this!I would tell her its very extreme for a wedding and if she could use a semi-perm before the wedding to make it more natural and it can wash out and she can re-do red again after.
Its hair...ask her if she planning on keeping it that color for the wedding?
If so...tell her how you feel, she is your sister. Then go from there. Maybe she just wanted to do it before your wedding for a specific reason or maybe its meant to be permanent. I am known for dying my hair crazy colors, I actually just did a "Deep Red" (LoL) and my mom freaked out on me. But its just hair. It'll grow back or can be dyed over.
Definitely dont think its "Bridezilla" worthy though! Legit concern!
most hair colors only last 6 weeks ish. That gives her 42 days. Maybe she'll dye it a more tamer color at that time.
I would maybe ask her very nicely if she plans on having it for the wedding. I understand its her choice, but she may not even be planning to keep it that way for your wedding
our wedding colors are pink and orange with a big emphasis on the pink...luckily her dress is black. But A) she won't look like the sister I know (haven't seen her in 2 years and I'm used to her brunetter hair) and B) everyone's eyes are going to be drawn to her hair in all my wedding photos.....not me and my husband.
Hair is a REALLY personal thing, and I would wait a couple of days before you talk to her or ask her to change it! I can guarantee she didn't think at all about your wedding (nor should she! personal expression - I think it's a little like getting tattoos). So I suggest waiting a few days, think about how important it is to you (and to her), and hopefully you'll decide you can deal with having some funky hair (ooh, an excuse to get your bridesmaids gorgeous big fascinators or cute hats!). But I'm going to highly recommend the 'just deal with it' approach. She might even be planning on dying it back for the wedding herself, and you would burn some serious bridges by complaining.
If you decide you want something more mainstream, then I suggest offering to pay for it to be dyed to a more natural color - and then paying to get it dyed back to fire-engine red or whatever other crazy hair she wants!
Good luck!
I think that hair color is beyond the scope of what you can control about your bridesmaids' look. You said yourself she is a free spirit--unless she's doing this to spite you (which is a different conversation altogether), then find something to appreciate about it and move on.
And it wouldn't matter what she does to her hair, all eyes are going to be on you - don't worry about that!
I think that in most cases I would say something like, people's lives dont stop because your getting married. They are not under your control, and blah blah blah
However, she's your SISTER totally different. I would tell her that it's no good. although, my sis is my bf and we tell the other how it is all the time.
With her being such a free spirit I'm sure she'll change it again before your wedding.
If she routinely colors it in loud or non-natural colors, maybe you'll look back at her red hair in pictures and remember "Look how good *husband* and I look! Oh and there's *sister* being her usual wild self." Could you find it endearing later?
I think you should just be prepared to deal with it. It's just hair really...pick your battles. 
Red hair fades the fastest. She'll definitely need to touch up w/in the next 50 days. If she choses to go red again then, too bad- so sad. I don't think it's really your call.
And mine just got some feather extensions. It's her hair, you gotta let her do what she wants to do!
If it helps, red fades EXTREMELY fast. I dyed my hair that exact color probably 3 weeks ago? It's already toned down a lot. It's still pretty bright but not distractingly so, I'd say.
You need to just deal with it. I had a simillar situation my MOH died her hair pretty much the same a red but that was several months ago thank goodness she said she is going back to her blonde.
But in all reality it is your sister's hair you can't tell her to dye it back to to suit your wedding, that will definately make you a bridezilla
If she so often changes her look around, unless she is IN LOVE with the Ariel hair, I'm sure she would understand if you asked her to tone it down for the wedding. She could tone it right back up afterwards.
Chances are by the time of the wedding she'll have to do a touch-up at the very least - perhaps you could ask her about doing it more brunette when she does so. Plus she may be totally over the color by then.
Maybe your mom could politely ask her if she plans on having it that color for the wedding?
In a week or so, I would talk to her about something else and then ask yourself if she plans on having it that color for your wedding. It's better to just be direct and ask, politely.
Maybe even mention what you wrote above- about remembering her as her classic self- a brunette.
If she's the type that likes to change her look around often, she probably didn't even think about how it would look at your wedding.
If she insists on keeping it that color, maybe ask for your bridesmaids to put their hair up? That would pull it back and make it less noticable.
I don't think you can say anything to her without causing a blowup and sounding like a demanding bridezilla.
"Normally I wouldn't care because she is a total free spirit and routinely does different things with her beauty and fashion
Reminds me of when my sister got mad at me for falling off my bike and breaking my wrist, a week before her wedding. She didn't want the cast ruining her photos.
Maybe you could offer to make a deal with her and if you pay, she can get it toned down in the salon. After all, it would be something she was doing for you if she agrees, so it's a fair trade off :)
As a red-hair-color dyer for the past 14 years, I can assure you... her hair will be about 5 shades toned down in a month. Red is the color that fades the fastest out of any choice. Like super duper fast. I wouldn't worry about it! :)
Honestly, I think it's a silly thing to worry about. Not to mention completely out of your control. Like others have said, red fades lightning quick & maybe she'll change it again before then anyway??
@mssnapdragon: Agreed. I dyed my hair bright red years ago and it was no longer bright red by the end of the month. Disappointing because I wanted bright red, but good for the OP.
Personally, it's not your place to tell her how to have her hair, whether she is in your wedding or not. Sorry, but you may have to deal with this one.
PS. as PP's have said, red fades super fast, it wont be that shade by then unless she colors it again the same color.
You have much more important things to worry about than the colour of her hair! You could ask her about it but od it more in a curious way than a I demand you change it way.
My one sister, a BM, well I don't even know what colour her hair is right now, I do know it is partly shaved. I don't think I would know what to say if it was a natural colour. But do I really care, no, it is her head and that is the way she is. She's not going to be in every picture and it won't take the attentio away from me.
I think it's her hair, and it's really not appropriate for you to tell her what color it should be.
Don't worry about it. You can't really control her hair-color. Dont stress :) Red upkeep is really hard! It'll wash out quickly.
Its better than having your mom shave her head 85 days before your wedding. And no, she didn't wear a wig.
Since she is your sister you should be able to tell her how you feel about it. If it wasnt your sister then I wouldnt say anything at all. In the end I dont think that hair color really matters
Crayola red lasts MAYBE 10 days before major fading happens. The upkeep is astronomical. I doubt it'll be as bright on your wedding unless she dyes it a day or two before. And even then, it's her head. Your wedding isn't more important than her ability to choose her own haircolor...
I'm going to go against the majority here and say,
1. She's your SISTER. You should be able to ask her politely to just dye it back to normal for your wedding. It's not impolite, just ask her to do it. If she won't, get your parents involved. I know my parents would DEMAND that she dye it back. LOL
2. If it were my sister, I would most DEFINITELY have an issue with the red hair and would absolutely request that she change it back to normal. If it was that big of a deal, I'd even offer to pay for it to get done, and pay for her to dye it back after the wedding. No chance my sister is ruining my pics with crazy hair. It's different if it were a friend or even a cousin, but your SISTER should know better and there is really no problem with wanting her to look like her normal self in your pics, sans the Little Mermaid hair.
@MissMedic: I'm with you. My sister and I are BFFs basically and I would have no problem asking her to dye it a "normal" color for my wedding. She also would have zero issue with such a request and would happily do so.
And if she wouldn't, my parents are absolutely the type who would make her. For what was spent on the wedding and on the pictures that are meant to last forever, Little Mermaid hair in the wedding party isn't happening!
Red hair fades very very quickly. It will look better by your date, I promise.
Even if she is your sister, you can not ask her to dye her hair back for your wedding. It's her hair, she can do whatever she wants with it. For those telling her to just dye it back brown and to dye it red again, her hair would likely be damaged by going from brown to red a couple of times in two months. This is especially true if her hair is darker brown.
People will be paying attention to you and your FI/DH, I promise. People don't care about your sister's hair that much, it's just you (and maybe some grandparents!).
Honestly, if it makes you feel any better. Only 1 of my 4 BM's were at our wedding shower and only 1 of his friends were there (none of his GM). What's worse is 1 of those missing people? My sister. The other was my MOH who could have come late but... oh well. In the end, as much as I would have liked them to be there, I had a blast and loved, enjoyed, and appreciated those who were.
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