Post # 1
My bridesmaid and FSIL is currently pregnant. She has had two miscarriages before, and it’s still really early so we are still just praying. If this one is a rainbow baby, she will be due two months before my wedding. I have a feeling she may want to drop out of being a bm and just come as a guest. Should I give her this option now, or wait until she’s further along?
Post # 3
Wait until she’s further along. 2 months is plenty of time too. I wouldn’t drop out just because I had a baby two months ago. Lots of women are back at work two months after having a baby. Just wait a while and see what she thinks. You have a few months until you have to order dresses so maybe at that time ask her.
Post # 4
Just leave it alone. It is too early to think about that at all. She will make the call herself if needed. Just hope for the best for her and her baby and don’t mention your wedding at all (in relation to her role in it).
Good luck to her.
Post # 5
@KFB9585: I think you should wait until she is farther along.
Post # 6
I think you should wait too, but up until the point that she’s going to plunk down serious cash (like buying the dress)–then bring it up if she hasn’t.
You can also impart to her that you’d still like her to be part of the BM festivities (if she’d like to be), even if she can’t be a BM. A friend of mine did that for me and included me in the dress shopping (even though I wasn’t buying one!) and stuff like that just so I wouldn’t feel left out. She just offered it to me and didn’t make it an expectation and it was really special to me to spend that time with her and our friends ‘behind the scenes’ so to speak. I really appreciated it.
Post # 7
I hope all goes well with her pregnancy! She may still want to be a bridesmaid on the day. But, I would definitely not bring it up with her until she is at least beyond the first trimester. She is likely worried about so much right now, that it is best to just not discuss anything she would have a role in. I was still a hot mess two months after I had my baby, but I could have pulled it together to be a bridesmaid for a day. Helping with the shower and bachelorette would not have happened, though. Then again, everyone’s experience is different. So, she may be happy to help. One last thing is that everything can change once you have the baby. So, if she says she will do all sorts of things, and then once the baby comes is nowhere to be found, have patience. She still loves you and wants to support you, but is just not able to support you in some ways. Good Luck!
Post # 8
@KFB9585: just wait. let her be the one to bring it up!
Post # 9
If I do have a bachelorette party, I actually want to go do something we have here (not sure if it’s a country wide thing) called painting with a twist. She loves stuff like that so she will definitely still be included! This will be my FH first blood niece/nephew and we are hopeful that the baby makes it full term. Thanks for all of your kind words and suggestions!