(Closed) BM not liking our ideas

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m sorry. She’s not being very nice. Is it possible she’s jealous?

Post # 4
Member
1989 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

she’s acting obnoxious.  Just reply to her “Then you can do that for YOUR wedding” next time.  And thats really stupid that she’s appalled at helping out.  If she doesn’t want to help out, she doesn’t have to be a bridesmaid. 

Post # 5
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As long as you and your fiance like it and want it that’s all that matters.  To be honest, the only thing I would be put off with would be you having the BMs set up and break down. I’ve been a MOH and BM before and never have been asked to do that – Vendors should be taking care of that not the wedding party (in my opinion).  I personally don’t expect my BMs to do anything but show up at the wedding and have fun with me, so I would feel very uncomfortable asking them to be “working” at the wedding.

Post # 7
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Nobody wants a cookie cutter wedding, its exciting to make it your own!!!!  Do what you and the groom want 🙂

Its sad that she does not support you 🙁  We set up stuff before our wedding and it was so much fun!  We had to make margaritas and get all the DIY stuff out!!  It really added to the excitment of the day!  

I would not ask for any of her opinions or tell her any ideas from now on, this is your day! Be happy and have fun, it will be great!! Just tell your BM what her job is and thats that

Post # 8
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

sorry you’re going through this.  your bm doesn’t have to “like” your ideas but she should “support” your ideas.  she needs to keep her opinions to herself.  it’s your wedding, not hers.

Post # 9
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

UGH! Ignore her, do your thing. It doesn’t matter if the whole world hates it but if you and your FI like it then it’s perfect.

Post # 10
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MrsNerdy:  THIS was great! 

Post # 11
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

How hard it it to put a candle or a vase of flowers on a table? Put a tablecloth on? That’s ridiculous that she wouldn’t want to help with that. It’s not like you’re asking her to do construction work!

Post # 12
Member
94 posts
Worker bee

My wedding sounds very similar to yours – a DIY one! Family are decorating the hall and BM’s are helping me make decorations – no one is obliged to help but at the moment everyone is very keen to help. 

   It is great to share this stuff with a BM but if any of mine reacted in that way I would be keeping quiet. Your wedding sounds beautiful – it might not be her kind of wedding but she can do all of HER stuff on HER day. Until then she can keep her opinions to herself. It isn’t helpful at all. 

Post # 14
Member
46160 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t let her comments affect you or your decisions. You are entitled to the wedding of your choice. She wil get a turn to make decisions when she is planning her wedding.

 Picture yourself with a veil that covers you head to toe and nothing can penetrate that veil.

Post # 15
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

lol bouquet toss is expected? then SHE can have it at HER wedding!!

Post # 16
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

She sounds annoying, when she gets married she can make the choices. I would pull her aside and say lisetn soso thank you for your input but my future hubby and I picking things that make sense for us as a couple. Most your comments have been a tad bit(highly inppropriate and rude but you can leave thato ut to be nice) can you please keep you comments to yourself. This a high stress point and I don’t need one more thing to worry about. Or the next time she talks about the way you are “supposed to do things” you can ask her if she intends on writing the checks for the wedding since she wants to insert all of these ideas.

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