BM ordered our guestbook without asking-Cant use engagement pictures anymore

posted 3 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
7090 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@CanadianBride456:  Can you put your e-photos all over the card box or something? What about framed pics on the table that holds all the name cards?

Post # 4
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@CanadianBride456:  can you frame 5x7s in nice frames and put them on each guest table with the centerpiece, or display them on the table with the guestbook, or cake table or gift table etc?

Post # 5
3696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d make the one you want anyway.  It’s kind of weird that she would do something like that without asking. Tell her that you already had ordered one.

Post # 6
957 posts
Busy bee

@CanadianBride456:  Could you have some of your favourite pictures in frames around the guestbook?

I went to a wedding once where they had a different picture on each table. On the back was a trivia question about the couple (Ex. I remember one was ‘How many pairs of shoes does Amy own?”) Then if you knew the answer, you’d go up to the podium and if you were right, the couple would kiss. 

You could do something like that. Or have a picture on each table as part of the centrepiece.

It’s nice of you to go with the BM’s guestbook, even though you’re disappointed. She kind of overstepped with her gift idea, but yuo’re doing the right thing.

Post # 7
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That’s very gracious of you to use the gifted guestbook. I wouldn’t. 

Other ways to display your engagement photo pics…

Framed on the tables for cocktail hour.

Blown up on easels lined in the cocktail hour space

If you are having a buffet meal you can use them as to identify the food like this…

Post # 8
12009 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

To be honest, I’d say something to her.  It’s unfair for people to specifically buy items for your wedding without talking to you first.  My SIL bought us toasting flutes — after I bought my own custom set months prior.  We told her we already had some, and were just going to use hers at the rehearsal dinner.  She was disappointed, but ultimately understood.

Post # 9
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

First, I think that’s really kind and thoughtful of your BM. I understand that you’re caught off guard, but please see it for what it actually is – a heartfelt gift. I’m really surprised that some of the PPs are so caught up on a guest book in their head that they would reject a gift from a best friend. You also never know… The one she ordered for you might be even better than the one you put together. It does happen.

To be totally honest, I wouldn’t flip through a guestbook to look at photos as a guest.

There’s a million things you could do with you photos. You could display them by the escord cards, or by the cake. Like someone said, you could put them on the tables. If you’re doing a church ceremony and it’s allowed, you could incorporate them into the pew decorations, If you’re doing programs you could put it on the programs, on or near the card box/gift table. There’s so many options. 

Good luck!

Post # 10
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010




I’m stunned that so many people would just embarrass and hurt a good friend by rejecting their  sweet, thoughtful and possibly expensive gift.  It just boggles my mind.  It strikes me as horribly selfish and spoiled.  

A guest book at a wedding is such a non-issue.  You know how many times I’ve looked at my gust book since our wedding?  I think once?  

People are more important than things.  Not having precisely what you want every second is NOT a tragedy.  

Post # 11
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@CanadianBride456:  I literally had the same thing happen to me except it was future MIL.  She bought us one of those 1980ish padded guestbooks that is literally just blank pages and people sign their names. 

I really hate it, but I know she was trying to be nice so we are going to use it.  One of those pick your battle kind of things!

We are going to hang our engagment photos over either the gift table or guest book table with some string and clothes pins. I guess kind of like bunting.

 I also really like the idea of just framing them around the guestbook that some pp’s mentioned.  I am considering doing that now to take away from the ugliness of the guestbook!  🙂


Post # 12
12009 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Zhabeego:  I’m not talking about a public flogging and trying to embarass her.  I would have an adult conversation with her.  As two adults, I’m certain this could be handled with minimal discomfort. I think it’s incredibly self-involved for someone to buy an item for your wedding without asking the bride or groom.

Post # 14
3696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with @abbie017:  

What if the bridesmaid has said, “I ordered your gift! Don’t buy a wedding cake.” Or the bride’s shoes, or the favors, or whatever. Individually, many people think that all of those things are stupid or not a big deal, but I’ve seen posters on here incredibly excited about buying the perfect pair of wedding shoes, or wanting a certain design of cake, or whatever. I’m not saying the bride here should “hurt” or “embarrass” her bridesmaid, but presumably the two of them are close if she’s standing up in the wedding, and they should be able to have a conversation about how the bride had already picked something out for her guestbook.

And for the record, maybe the guests don’t care about the guestbook, but my husband and I did. We still like to flip through ours and look at our engagement pictures and what people wrote.

Post # 15
22136 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2011

@lina010:  Great idea, that’s what I was going to say! I think the photos would be great framed as part of a centerpiece on the guest tables.

Post # 16
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@abbie017:  What you’re talking about is a very rude, ungrateful conversation and there’s nothing “adult” about that.

Perhaps the BM blundered but it was a blunder made with the best of intentions – to please her friend with a generous gift.  

To tell this person that her sweet gesture is unappreciated and unwelcome would of course embarrass her and hurt her feelings.

A person who thinks a guest book is more important than being gracious and kind to a friend – one you like well enough to stand in your wedding with you no less – wouldn’t qualify for my definition of “adult.”  

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