Post # 1
Just wondering how you all would handle this situtation. For a guest book, I was planning on doing a book with our engagement pictures on shutterfly. I had the template and some pictures picked out already, I just had to order it. Then I was talking to one of my BM who also happens to be one of my closet friends and she mentioned that she had ordered our wedding gift. She said she didn’t know if she’d be able to keep it a secret until the wedding, but she did tell me not to order a guestbook. I had been really looking forward to using our engagement pictures in some way during our wedding, because I didn’t put them on facebook but they turned out beautiful so I’d like to have a way to show people. Do you have any suggestions how I could still display the pictures? I don’t want to say anything to the BM, so I am going to use her guestbook, but I guess I’m just a little disappointed.
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
@CanadianBride456: Can you put your e-photos all over the card box or something? What about framed pics on the table that holds all the name cards?
Post # 4
@CanadianBride456: can you frame 5x7s in nice frames and put them on each guest table with the centerpiece, or display them on the table with the guestbook, or cake table or gift table etc?
Post # 5
I’d make the one you want anyway. It’s kind of weird that she would do something like that without asking. Tell her that you already had ordered one.
Post # 6
@CanadianBride456: Could you have some of your favourite pictures in frames around the guestbook?
I went to a wedding once where they had a different picture on each table. On the back was a trivia question about the couple (Ex. I remember one was ‘How many pairs of shoes does Amy own?”) Then if you knew the answer, you’d go up to the podium and if you were right, the couple would kiss.
You could do something like that. Or have a picture on each table as part of the centrepiece.
It’s nice of you to go with the BM’s guestbook, even though you’re disappointed. She kind of overstepped with her gift idea, but yuo’re doing the right thing.
Post # 7
That’s very gracious of you to use the gifted guestbook. I wouldn’t.
Other ways to display your engagement photo pics…
Framed on the tables for cocktail hour.
Blown up on easels lined in the cocktail hour space
If you are having a buffet meal you can use them as to identify the food like this…
Post # 8
To be honest, I’d say something to her. It’s unfair for people to specifically buy items for your wedding without talking to you first. My SIL bought us toasting flutes — after I bought my own custom set months prior. We told her we already had some, and were just going to use hers at the rehearsal dinner. She was disappointed, but ultimately understood.
Post # 9
First, I think that’s really kind and thoughtful of your BM. I understand that you’re caught off guard, but please see it for what it actually is – a heartfelt gift. I’m really surprised that some of the PPs are so caught up on a guest book in their head that they would reject a gift from a best friend. You also never know… The one she ordered for you might be even better than the one you put together. It does happen.
To be totally honest, I wouldn’t flip through a guestbook to look at photos as a guest.
There’s a million things you could do with you photos. You could display them by the escord cards, or by the cake. Like someone said, you could put them on the tables. If you’re doing a church ceremony and it’s allowed, you could incorporate them into the pew decorations, If you’re doing programs you could put it on the programs, on or near the card box/gift table. There’s so many options.
Post # 10
I’m stunned that so many people would just embarrass and hurt a good friend by rejecting their sweet, thoughtful and possibly expensive gift. It just boggles my mind. It strikes me as horribly selfish and spoiled.
A guest book at a wedding is such a non-issue. You know how many times I’ve looked at my gust book since our wedding? I think once?
People are more important than things. Not having precisely what you want every second is NOT a tragedy.
Post # 11
@CanadianBride456: I literally had the same thing happen to me except it was future MIL. She bought us one of those 1980ish padded guestbooks that is literally just blank pages and people sign their names.
I really hate it, but I know she was trying to be nice so we are going to use it. One of those pick your battle kind of things!
We are going to hang our engagment photos over either the gift table or guest book table with some string and clothes pins. I guess kind of like bunting.
I also really like the idea of just framing them around the guestbook that some pp’s mentioned. I am considering doing that now to take away from the ugliness of the guestbook! 🙂
Post # 12
@Zhabeego: I’m not talking about a public flogging and trying to embarass her. I would have an adult conversation with her. As two adults, I’m certain this could be handled with minimal discomfort. I think it’s incredibly self-involved for someone to buy an item for your wedding without asking the bride or groom.
Post # 13
Thanks all for your replies! I like the idea of framing them or of hanging them. I really like the hanging one @Meggiemae14: suggested because it’s something different! But maybe people would see them better if they were framed on a table or two?
@Mrs.LemonDrop: @Zhabeego: And I agree, a guest book it just a small tiny part of the wedding, and it’s most definetly not worth possibly hurting my BM feelings over. I know it’s truly a heart felt gift, and it was never once an option not to use it. I could/would never turn down a gift that I knew someone put a lot of thought into. And I’m sure it’ll be lovely and beautiful whatever it may be.
Post # 14
I agree with @abbie017:
What if the bridesmaid has said, “I ordered your gift! Don’t buy a wedding cake.” Or the bride’s shoes, or the favors, or whatever. Individually, many people think that all of those things are stupid or not a big deal, but I’ve seen posters on here incredibly excited about buying the perfect pair of wedding shoes, or wanting a certain design of cake, or whatever. I’m not saying the bride here should “hurt” or “embarrass” her bridesmaid, but presumably the two of them are close if she’s standing up in the wedding, and they should be able to have a conversation about how the bride had already picked something out for her guestbook.
And for the record, maybe the guests don’t care about the guestbook, but my husband and I did. We still like to flip through ours and look at our engagement pictures and what people wrote.
Post # 15
@lina010: Great idea, that’s what I was going to say! I think the photos would be great framed as part of a centerpiece on the guest tables.
Post # 16
@abbie017: What you’re talking about is a very rude, ungrateful conversation and there’s nothing “adult” about that.
Perhaps the BM blundered but it was a blunder made with the best of intentions – to please her friend with a generous gift.
To tell this person that her sweet gesture is unappreciated and unwelcome would of course embarrass her and hurt her feelings.
A person who thinks a guest book is more important than being gracious and kind to a friend – one you like well enough to stand in your wedding with you no less – wouldn’t qualify for my definition of “adult.”