Post # 1
I have three BMs. We hung out in the same group at Uni, me being the common factor, though I learn two of them in this instance i’ll call them A and B, weren’t that keen on the other one who i’ll call C. C is close to my family as my mum is a mum figure to her. She is hosting and organising my hen party. I don’t know how to split the roles up between them. Bit more background; I lived with B for 9 months. I’ve known A for longer and I was A’s Maid/Matron of Honor in August last year though she didn’t make that clear to the two other BM’s one being B as she didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I really don’t know how to decide and then to handle it all really. I know this probably sounds quite petty and somewhat insignifant perhaps but I can’t decided on who to do what.
How did you decide?
Post # 4
I don’t have a Maid/Matron of Honor at all.
Post # 5
I have a large bridal party. I decided not to name a friend my Maid/Matron of Honor in order to keep the peace. I chose a relative instead. You have a trickier situation since all 3 are your friends. Maybe you don’t need to name one? If your friend was able to pull that off in her wedding you should be able to do the same.
Post # 6
It seems like you are equally close to each of them in one way or another. Why not have them all share the duties evenly? If you do decide to choose a Maid/Matron of Honor, may I suggest that you choose the one that wouldn’t care either way. It is she that would be most deserving, in my opinion, because she is most understanding and sensitive to your needs, putting your needs of the day before her own.
I am hoping to have 3 girls total; one that represents a friendship from my childhood, one from my university years, and one from recent years. 3, nice round, simple number.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is the one from recent years (since 2004) a close friend who also happens to be my landlady! She has always cheered me on and my relationship on, helped me get back on my feet, and even dragged me to hunt for a wedding venue a year before I was even engaged! She is such a delightful and silly person. Although I’ve known other girlfriends for as long or longer, clearly she was the best choice for Maid/Matron of Honor — she is truly and genuinely happy for me and I am so blessed to know her. As for my bridesmaids, the college one is very enthusiastic. The other, from my childhood, was so ungrateful and displeased with the way I asked her (she’s soooo needy, long sordid story I posted about previously. Pull up a chair and read *that* gloriousness if ever you have the time.) We’re currently working on the friendship but I don’t intend to broach the Bridesmaid or Best Man topic with her again unless I see a significant change. So, looks like the 3rd slot is available and I will need to reevaluate. So much for the best laid plans…
Post # 7
@ms_nickie: I did the opposite. I chose a friend as Maid/Matron of Honor and have my three sisters as bridesmaids as I could never choose between them
Post # 8
Thanks bees, anyone else?
Post # 9
I like the idea about having them share all the duties. You can divide things up evenly and then just call them all BMs or MOHs. That seems like the best way to not cause friction.