(Closed) BM Vent (long)

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Well first, I think the costs you mentioned for dresses and hotel, are reasonable.  Sometimes people just want to complain.  Or maybe they really had no idea how much things cost.  Maybe you can help ease things up by saying that they can wear whatever shoe they like in (ex.) black.  Some of them probably have something in their closet already.

Also, as far as bachelorette parties are concerned, they are nice and all, but I don’t think BMs should be required to give them.  They have enough expenses, to feel like this relatively new tradition is obligatory.  I’m not sure how you’ve handled the bach party thing.  But if I had a bride demanding a bach party, and how exactly she wanted it (in a way that was inconsiderate to financials), I would be miffed.

As for the shower, are you saying that you and your family is traveling to TN, where this particular Bridesmaid or Best Man lives?  (The one who has to work?)  If that is the case, and people are already locked into flights, I would say that your other BM’s need to figure out how to make this work.  If it was at a restaurant, they should go on without her.  If it was a t her place, they need to have it at her place, without her.  Sure it would be nice for her to be there.  But if there is something that she needs to do for work, she might not have much of a choice.  Sometimes you can’t say no to the boss.  I had a Bridesmaid or Best Man who couldn’t make my shower.  It’s not a huge deal, in my book. 

Post # 4
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I do not think you are being unreasonable at all.  In the imortal words of Tim Gunn, the job of the Maid of Honor is to “Make it work!”  I think you have been very thoughtful, but there are bound to be things you do that will irk one or more of your bridesmaids.  The kicker is that you shouldn’t be the one to deal with it.  If one of your girls has serious financial concerns, she needs to discuss it with you on an adult level, not just complain.

I read this blog post a while back and I really loved what she had to say:


Just remember, these ladies DO love you, they may just be losing sight of how important their support is to you.

Post # 6
37 posts

you are NOT being a brat.  i’m so dealing with the same type of thing.  it’s really hurtful, isn’t it?

The topic ‘BM Vent (long)’ is closed to new replies.

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