BM wants to wear flats

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1838 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Nic01:  i would let her wear what she wants. no one is going to see her feet with a long dress. also everyone will be looking at you anyway, not her shoes.

Post # 4
5905 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Nic01:  Overthinking…its a tiny detail, one no one will notice

Post # 5
4959 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Nic01:  I would let her wear what she wants also – no one will see her feet. This is why I chose long dresses- one girl has serious back issues and cant wear heels & one has never worn a heel in her life. This way – they can wear whatever they want and I won’t worry! 

Post # 6
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

She’s wearing a long dress, right? Who is going to see her feet?

Post # 7
6951 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Nic01:  Well…. the dress is long enough that if she’s wearing flats you probably won’t even see them. Plus, if she’s on the groom’s side, she doesn’t necessarily have to “match” the other girls. Personally, I would ask her if she’s willing to wear pumps or if she can find a fancier, all black flat. Perhaps send her some options. If she never wears heels she’s going to be fidgeting through the ceremony and could possibly look ridiculous walking down the aisle. No one wants that. 

Post # 8
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@Nic01:  You’re overthinking it. No one’s going to see or notice her shoes. Just tell her you want all-black shoes and she can pick what she likes.

Post # 9
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I understand you want your bridesmaids to have a specific look. But honest to god… no one is going to notice except you. Take a trip down memory lane and think back to the last wedding you attended: Tell me the footwear everyone was donning.

Yeah. It’ll be like that. Nobody will notice. Nobody will care. You’ll never look at their feet in photos.

Post # 10
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Nic01:  I agree with what the PPs have said; everyone will be looking at you! Plus in a long dress, no one will really see her feet anyway. It’s nice that you’ve purchased flip flops for her! I think since she has to purchase ceremony shoes (unless I missed it and you’re covering those) they should be something she’s comfortable in and could ideally wear again. Would you want to spend $30-$80 (at least) on shoes you’ll literally never touch after the wedding? Nah.


Cut her some slack; she was respectful and asked if it was okay, she ran her choices by you. If anything, pick out some sandals together. I think you’ll look  back on this afterwards and wonder why you worried about it 🙂

Post # 12
5769 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Black flats are fine. No one cares what the brdesmaids’ shoes look like. 

Post # 16
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Nic01:  this is one thing I would let go. With a long dress, no one will see the shoes. Doesn’t seem worth the stress of trying to force her to wear certain shoes if she’s not comfortable….

ETA: oops – just saw your update. I like the first pair you posted! I’m sure your bridesmaid will really appreciate it!

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