Post # 1
I am new to this site, I have found myself coming here more often so I finally decided to join.
Well I am having a hard time figuring out what I should do about my BM. I decided on them wearing long dresses, the colour is coral. I would like them to wear shoes that are either seafoam or mint. I think it would look really nice – those were the colours I always wanted. I don’t know if asking them to get shoes like that is too much? Should I have them pick out what they feel is fit along the same colour? I mean the dress is long, so the shoes won’t really show. I really don’t know what to do – I feel like everytime I ask my MOH she doesn’t give me answer and gets annoyed.
Has anyone else had this issue?
Post # 3
If they’re long dresses, the friendliest thing to do is have them wear a neutral color they’ll likely wear again. Nobody wears a BM dress more than once, I think it’s unfair to make them wear shoes they won’t wear again, either. I’d be annoyed at this, too, if I was an attendant at a wedding.
Post # 5
Yeah — if you want them to wear shoes that they likely won’t be able to wear again, you need to provide them and pay for them yourself.
Post # 6
I think that since they are long dresses the shoes won’t matter so I am a huge fan or letting them wear something in a neutral color they already own. No one is ever going to wear mint or seafoam shoes again. But then again, as long as they aren’t expensive shoes I don’t think it is horrific to ask them to buy them either.
Post # 7
First of all, welcome to Weddingbee! With my BMs, I asked them all to get black shoes. Every time I’ve been a bridesmaid, we have just been asked to get shoes in the same color (silver, most recently). I’m perfectly fine with buying shoes in a certain color if I can choose a kind of shoe that I like and will wear again. For example, I’m already 5’11”, so I prefer not to wear super high heels, etc.
Post # 8
You said yourself the shoes won’t really show and what are the odds that any of your maids will feel that mint or seafoam shoes are a useful addition to their wardrobe? There doesn’t seem to be any good reason to ask your maids to go to the effort and spend the money on a non-noticeable detail.
Post # 9
@fall_13: I was in a wedding a few years ago where the bride was ok with us wearing whatever shoes (in whatever color) as long as it went well with the dress. Our dresses were long so it didn’t really matter. But then the MOH decided we should all wear the same colored shoes. The MOH was the bride’s sister-in-law and in order to prevent conflict, the bride just agreed to it. We had to pay 90 dollars to get these dyeable shoes and none of us has worn them eversince. One girl couldn’t even really afford it but did it anyway. Often times, some of our friends may be struggling with finances and we don’t even know it, so I personally think it’s a lot to ask of them. So for my wedding, I’m just letting the girls wear whatever shoes they want as long as they go with the dress. The dress is long so it wouldn’t really matter anyway.
Post # 10
that’s a good idea! having them wear neutral colors makes sense. I know what it’s like buying shoes you will never wear again. I didn’t want to turn into that bride. I know being part of a wedding party often get’s pretty expensive. I am going to be paying for their dresses and make up. I don’t want anyone to hate me by the end of it all! Planning is starting to get a little bit stressful :o(
Post # 11
@Neetch: it was between paying for their shoes or dresses. I decided on paying for the dresses – I think just having them wear something neutral is best – the dress won’t even show the shoes.
Post # 12
@Gemstone: thank you for the feedback. Its nice to get ideas from other brides 🙂
Post # 13
Long dresses means hardly anyone will see their shoes. Throw them a bone and find a neutral color and let them pick their own. OR let them pick their own dyable shoes, that you buy and have dyed the same color.
Post # 14
If they were wearing shorter dresses, I think being more particular about shoes makes more sense, but since they are long I would just go with a neutral.
For my wedding, my girls had short dresses and I just asked them to wear silver shoes. I think it looked great and everyone got to choose shoes that they liked/may wear again/in their price range.
Post # 15
I think it would be best if you suggest a neutral color instead — white, silver, nude. This way they can get something that they can afford, is comfortable, and may wear again.
It will keep the peace and your girls will be comfortable and happy! And if the dresses are floor length, no one will notice the BM shoes anyway!