BMS and GMS sit or stand?

posted 3 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m not sure about Jewish wedding customs but I stook for the duration of my friend’s Catholic ceremony and it was SO uncomfortable. I agree with your Rabbi that for the comfort of your wedding party, they should be allowed to sit. 

Post # 4
Member
1877 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’ve never been to a Jewish ceremony, but I’m Catholic, so our ceremonies can last an hour or so if the couple has a full mass. In those cases I’ve seen the bridal party sit in the front pew except for when the rings are exchanged. 

Post # 6
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@gm234:  I understand the “stand with me” as a metaphor but I would not be offended to be sitting. I would be really happy to be given that opportunity for a long ceremony. I think you should go with your Rabbi as I’m sure he has performed many a ceremony and would not advise you to have them sit if he didn’t think that was best. Not sure how the ceremony is structured but perhaps you could have them stand by you for your vows and exchanging of the rings and sit for other parts? 

Post # 7
Member
1877 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@gm234:  I’ve never been a part of a bridal party where we were asked to sit because I’ve never participated in a full ceremony. I would definitely appreciate the bride taking into consideration our comfort though if I were in that situation.  Again, I don’t know how Jewish ceremonies work, but could you have them sit through readings and such but have them stand next to you while you say your vows?

Post # 9
Member
1877 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@gm234: I’ve seen several seating arrangements.  I’ve seen the wedding party in the front row with parents in the second. You could also have chairs off to the side or in front of the pews so that parents are still technically in the front row. 

Post # 10
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

At my Jewish ceremony, the bridesmaids and groomsmen stood beside the chuppah (not underneath because it would have been too cramped). However my maid of honor and best man were underneath. the rabbi told us that they could have sat in the first row or on ghost chairs beside the chuppah. Because a Jewish ceremony is pretty short (30 minutes) standing was fine for them. It is your choice though!

Post # 11
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

And they would never take away from you, you are the bride and it’s not like they are wearing the same thing!

Post # 13
welliesMember
1425 posts
Bumble bee

In every Jewish wedding I’ve attended, the bridal party has stood with the bride and groom. Maybe your rabbi just wants them to be comfortable? Some people aren’t used to the length of a traditional Jewish ceremony.

Post # 14
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

He may not be opposed to it anyway if you said you’d like for them to stand.  There’s not reason in terms of Jewish law for them to sit.  Mazel Tov!

Post # 15
Member
677 posts
Busy bee

It may vary by rabbi or group. I know that the majority I have seen, the bridal party does stand with the couple. However, there’s one shul I’ve seen featured on Four Weddings a couple of times, and at both of those, they say.

FWIW, my rabbi has mentioned them standing.

Post # 16
Member
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

our ceremony was 25 minutes, our wedding party stood with us throughout the ceremony.  only myself, my husband, and rabbi were under the chuppah.

 

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