BM's and when to ask them

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I:
    Ask all 5 BM's around the same time (Christmas) : (12 votes)
    50 %
    Ask the 2 sisters at Christmas time and wait to ask the other 3 : (8 votes)
    33 %
    Other idea -I'm commenting below : (4 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @MissMay3003:  I would honestly wait until mid-next year. I am getting married a year earlier than you, and I asked my bridesmaids in August. I have also been engaged since 2010 and knew who I wanted to be in the bridal party since then.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2661 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @MissMay3003:  I think you’re fine asking all your girls at Christmas! My wedding is April 2015, and I’ve already asked my girls! Like you, I’d known for awhile who I wanted standing by me at my wedding. Also, several are long distance, so I wanted to give them the courtesy of being able to plan ahead and budget for the flight (or multiple flights if they come for other events). If you’d rather wait on asking your friends, I think it’s totally find to ask just the sisters around Christmas and wait to ask your friends. They are from different “groups,” and you’d be asking family first. Nothing wrong with that! 

    Post # 5
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’d ask family this Christmas and friends a year out from your wedding!

    Post # 6
    Member
    2516 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MissMay3003:  I asked everyone a year out from my wedding, but they all un-officially knew since before I even got engaged

    It depends on your friends- I have been friends with every one (expect SIL) of my BMs for more than 10 years and in one case, one for 20 years, so I highly highly doubt anything will change since our friendships have survived college and then some. Almost all of them I met in elementary school and the other one I met  fresh man year of HS. If you have been friends a long time I don’t see why not!!!  

    Post # 7
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Don’t ask anyone until 9ish months before the wedding. You are so far away, your wedding day vision may change, your relationships with these people may change, etc. It’s best to wait until significantly closer to your actual weding date.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2962 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would ask them all around the same time or else the friends may think that you asking them was an afterthought. I would also let them know as soon as possible. You may not know their financial situation or their situations may change so I would let them know their responsibilities as soon as possible (think about the bridal shower, bachelorette party, dress, alterations, shoes and accessories, rehearsal dinner, and wedding day not to mention gifts for you and $$$ traveling). Definitely no later than a year out I would say because you need to get their dresses no later than 6 months before the wedding and you need to organize everyone’s schedule if possible to get them together to go dress shopping.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    I only had 3 BMs (MOH included).  They were all very close friends of mine, and I really never thought about asking anyone else.  So, I asked them all pretty much right away and it was never an issue for me.

    If you’re close to these 5 girls and confident in your choice, then I don’t see any issues with inviting them to be BMs now.  If you think you may actually change your mind later, then delay asking anyone.  I would ask all the girls around the same time.  Spacing them months apart could be an issue logistic-wise and emotionally for the girls.  They should each feel like they’re special to you.  They will need time to plan to attend, plan your shower, budget for the dress and other expenses, etc.  I’ll go against the grain and vote for sooner rather than later (with the only caveat being that these are all girls you feel confident in asking).

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