(Closed) BMs, GMs and Plus ones

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@PinkMagnolia: Yes, i think bridal party members should get a plus one. And no, I dont think you can give one of them a +1 and then take it back.

Youre obviously very good friends with this person, since theyre in the bridal party. I would just say “listen. I need to get my final numbers into the caterer. It’s really expensive so we are trying to get an exact count. Do you know if you are bringing someone?”. And start the convo. from there.

Post # 5
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@PinkMagnolia: I think it is fair to let them have a guest… I do agree that it was a bit much to put “I will find someone by then” but they should have a guest

 

Post # 6
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Not really a fan of the “I’ll find someone by then” but yes I would let them have a guest if they want one. I would also gently remind them that it is not fun to be a plus one to a bridal party member if you dont know anyone in their friend circle. Show up to a wedding alone (for a couple you dont know), entertain yourself while your gf/bf goes for photos, eat with all of the other +1 of the wedding party, and basically just wait until your date has time to dance. I’ve been the +1 after one of my male friends had a break up the week before the wedding. It was just not fun and since then Ive never brought a date to a wedding I was standing in. I have no idea how to have that conversation if you do not have the personal experience though. 

Post # 7
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ugh we had someone do that, too (not in the bridal party, though).  I would just be honest about it. Tell them that you’re only allowing people to bring SIGNIFICANT others, because it’s $150/ plate and space is extremely limited. If it’s a GM, he won’t be offended.  Guys don’t care.  If it’s a BM, you might have to be a little more careful how you word it.   

Normally I’d say yes, you have to let wedding party have a +1, but your wedding sounds very intimate (and expensive).  They’re literally like scrounging around looking for a random date to bring.  That’s totally different than someone bringing their SO.  You don’t have to allow that!

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