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Ok so one of my bridesmaids (also grooms sister) just recently got a new tattoo. The wedding is in 3 weeks and of course the dresses have all been purchased. She already had a small tattoo on the back of her shoulder. I was not concerned about that one. But I went on facebook and saw a pic she posted recently and she has a new tattoo on her collarbone/shoulder area. The tattoo is not large but definitely visible and the dresses are strapless. Now, demoting her as a bridesmaid is really not an option as this is the groom's sister. My biggest problem is that she did not even have the courtesy to mention it to us. She would not have said anything and on the day of the wedding I would have FREAKED out! Should I suggest her buy make-up to cover it? I am certainly not paying for her to cover it up. It's a May wedding and I cannot ask all of the girls to go purchase shaws/borelos just because one of them got a tattoo. Help!
Hmm...I wouldn't really worry about it. I guess you could always ask the photographer to not get shots of her back or strategically photograph.
3 weeks from now her tatt may still be healing meaning peeling, dry, scabby ... I dont think it would be a good idea for her to cover it up during the healing process (since it needs to be kept clean) but im not tattoo expert.
Personally, I'd leave a cute little comment on the picture like "Cute tattoo! Any ideas on how to cover it for the wedding pictures?
I agree with Miss Olive. This is not something that is in your control now so why worry about it? I also agree that if it bothers you that much, speak to your photographer in advance. I also don't really see why she would have to clear something like that with you first. If she shaved her head would you feel the same? I guess if I decided to get a tattoo I would consider a lot of things but a wedding I was in would not be one of them. ::shrug::
3 weeks out she shouldn't be scabbing, if she's kept it properly lotioned up :) However, a good foundation should cover it up enough for the standard pics, and if the makeup is irritating the skin after that then she can use make up remover and take it off for the reception.
My other thought is that most tatts are typically meaningful to the person who received them and therefore should mean something to you, would it really mess up your wedding photos to have a small tatt in them?
I would just talk with her about it :) Good Luck!
Perhaps she shouldn't have gotten the tattoo right before your wedding, but most people who aren't brides-to-be don't really think about that kind of stuff. It probably wasn't that she didn't have the courtesy, it's most likely that she didn't mention it because she didn't think it would be a big deal.
My advice to you is the same that I've given to the many women on this board with the same problem: unless her tattoo is a swastika or an obscene naked lady, I'd recommend that you just let it go. Your photos won't be ruined and the look of the wedding won't be ruined. Actually, nobody but you will even really notice, I bet. Since she's your FSIL, she's going to be part of your family for the rest of your life. You don't want to start off on the wrong foot with her.
It was crummy of her not to mention to you that she was getting a tattoo, but people can't change what they want in their lives just because they are in someone's wedding.
If you say something to her, you will risk having a big arguement really close to your wedding, which nobody wants.
I wouldn't make a big deal of it. If it is still bothering you after the wedding, Photoshop the tattoo out of the pictures.
I don't see why it matters that she has a tattoo...but if it bothers you in photos, you can always photoshop it out of photos
I don't see why you would want her to cover it up? You already asked her knowing she had visible tattoos. I would have been very upset if I was your BM and was told to cover my tattoo up.
She doesn't have to tell you or ask your permission to get a tattoo. Our girls have their own lives and desires outside of being BMs. If it's really important to you for her to hide it, she can just cover it up with tattoo concealer. My BM has a full sleeve and I'm not making her cover it. I got over it. I don't care anymore. Ultimately the wedding pictures I'm going to have framed in my home are of me and my husband, not us and everybody in the wedding party and our parents.
I don't htink you should worry too much. Talk to your photographer about it and they can pose her so it is not as obvious. For prints you could ask them to edit it out, if it is that big of a deal.
Obviously, tattoos are part of who she is, which you knew already, and I don't think it's fair for you to ask her to change that or cover it up because she's in your wedding. It might have been nice for her to mention it to you, but I think at this point the best think you can do is let this go because they're nothing you can do and it won't help to worry about it!
I wouldn't worry about it. It is done, and it is part of her. I'd be pissed if someone told me I had to cover mine up for a wedding.
Ok I might be in the minority but I would ask her to cover it. That doesnt mean you dont suport it or love her any less and its not taking away her freedom/individuality, its just preference and it is your wedding.
I would just talk to her about it and see how she feels about possibly covering it. It's not worth starting a fight or driving a wedge bt yall or anything but I dont see it as a bad thing to just discuss it.
If she doesnt want to cover or you decide to let it go, could you ask her to wear her hair down?
She doesn't need to ask you permission to get a tattoo. You should really let it go.
if you didn't like your SIL's face would you ask her to wear a bag over it? Lol, i'm kidding, but to me tattoos are just skin ya know? I don't personally have any, but they don't bother me at all. You'll have bigger things to think about that day - i'd drop the issue entirely for peace of mind and peace in the family.
I agree with all the other ladies. It's her body, she can do with it what she wants. The hardest thing that we Brides have to remember, Just cause our wedding is the biggest day of our lives, doesn't mean it it to everyone else. It's just another day for them.
I'm sure she probably didn't even think about it when she got it. I'm sure it wasn't to upset you or ruin your wedding pictures. It was important to her, so she did it. That's what photoshop is for!
In the grand scheme of things, you''re marrying your FI. That's really all that matters (This is my mantra as I get freaked out about the little stuff).
whoa... i don't have any tattoos and pesonally don't care for them.
but if i did get a tattoo and someone asked me to cover it up for their wedding i would be beyond offended. it would never even occur to me to ask someone else's permission before getting one. i may be in the minority here, but i am sort of astounded that asking her to cover it up was even suggested.
i know you want everything to look nice, but try not to lose perspective here. you chose your BMs for who they are, and what they mean to you, not what they look like.
I don't see how it matters that she has a tattoo. But maybe it's a geographical difference. Here in NYC, I see tattoos on half of the people on the street - it's a form of expression, some of them are considered stylish, and no one ever thinks they are strange. I don't have a tattoo (I am scared of pain!), but if I did have one and were a bridesmaid, I wouldn't be offended that the bride ask me to cover it. I would, however, think it's strange that you ask that of me. I just wouldn't understand what the big deal is.
Is the tatoo offensive?
If not, I wouldn't worry about it. You asked her to be in the wedding and her back, shoulder, and collarbone come with her.
I don't have a tatoo, nor would I want on, but she probably got the tatoo because it meant somthing to her.
That tattoo is part of her now- that's going to be the way she looks for the rest of her life. If you love her and want her to be a part of your wedding, then it isn't right for you to ask her to hide that. It would be the same as if you asked her to cut and dye her hair because you don't like the color she has it, or if you asked her to stuff her bra because she's small chested. Either accept her for who she is, or don't, but don't demand that she change to fit your style. You should choose your bridesmaids because they are the people who you want to stand up with you on the most important day of your life, not because they will look like the pictures in a magazine.
Definitely don't say/do anything about it. Nobody will care she's got a tattoo.
I don't see why she should have checked with you or let you know. She's a grown woman! She wouldn't have checked with you if she'd dyed her hair or cut it all off, she shouldn't have to let you know she got another tat.
You definitely don't want to ruffle feathers before the wedding...she'll always remember that you were offensive to her and she'll hold it over your head! Totally not worth it.
IMO I think that she should have atleast said something to you beforehand.. not like asking your permission but atleast letting you know about it instead of you finding out about it.
I kind of think she should have mentioned it. Im not saying she needed to ask for permission, because alot of the time you need to book months in advance for something like this, but i do think she should have given u a heads up. I dunno, i guess if one of my bridesmades suddenly had a tattoo 3 weeks before my wedding, i might be a little peeved too. then again, i hate tattoos. There is nothing you can do about it now...so i guess the best thing to do is to just carry on and work on other things.
I don't think I would worry about it unless it was something really offensive. I'm sure she didn't do it thinking about the wedding.
I myself don't have tattoos, and if I ever did get one I would probably want it to be somewhere that's not visible.
That being said, I asked my girls to be in my wedding because I love them, exactly as they are. And one of my BM's has several tattoos, at least 6 I can think of that will be visible in her BM dress. She's getting another one tomorrow but I'm not sure where on her body.
I would never ask her to cover them up or to not be in the wedding, because I knew this about her when I asked her. I feel like with your closest friends, you take them as they are. Just my thoughts.
I agree with danadelphia.
So she got a tattoo - big deal. It's HER body. To me this borders on telling BM's that they have to lose weight or can't change their hair before your wedding - just RUDE.
I will jump on the bandwagon with the other girls and say unless it's directly offensive, I would try to let it go. You probably have other things to worry about with your wedding, and this should be the least of them. Or ask her nicely to cover it up with some makeup for the wedding. DON'T be passive/agressive and comment on the picture on facebook, because this girl is clearly a close friend and you should be able to be adults and have a discussion about things that bother you.
If you're still bothered by the time you see your wedding proofs, ask your photographer to photoshop the tattoo out.
I also think she should have mentioned it and I don't hate tattoos at all. I'm with Goldilocks1107 except for the fact that she'd probably be offended by the comment.
Obviously it's her body and she can do with it what she likes, but it's not very considerate of her. Now that it's happend I'd let it go, but yeah, not cool of her.
I don't think it's a lack of courtesy that she didn't tell you. Just because you are a bride doesn't mean you get to dictate what goes on her body either. If you really really want it covered, then you SHOULD consider paying to have it covered, because it's your own personal wish. I don't think it's a big deal though. I just recently got a tattoo that would possibly be visible in a dress (on my back), but I wouldn't be offended if a bride asked me to cover it for the photos. However, I would have been BEYOND peeved if the bride thought it was my job to ask her for her permission, and I would drop out of the wedding if I found out. My sister pierced her lip (kind of, area above the lip) a month before the wedding. My mom cared more than I did. The way someone in your wedding party looks won't relfect poorly on you, it reflects on that person.
It's really not a big deal it's her body. Are you ashamed to have her stand up in your wedding now? People aren't going to be focused on her anyway it's your big day and everyone will be looking at you.
She probably didn't mention it because she didn't even think about it. Only brides think about that kind of stuff. She's a grown up and doesn't need permission. If I were you, I'd let it go - no point worrying about stuff you have no control over.
If it's that big a deal you can always photoshop it out, but don't let it ruin your day. Hopefully you'll have bigger stuff to think about on your WEDDING DAY than your sister in law's new tattoo.
I get where you're coming from and I'd be irritated to. However, it is her body and if she wants to get visible tattoos she can. My advice is, if she can't cover it up with make-up for whatever reason, just have the photographer photoshop the tattoo out. I've had to do that several times in photoshop for various reasons. Generally speaking it's pretty easy to do.
I guess I'm an odd one, I have a couple girls with tattoos and I will have coverup for them to use. Call me old fashioned, but I don't want any tattoos showing on my wedding day, I have some but they are inplaces that are easily covered by clothing.
And Iv'e already talked to my girls about it, and none of them are offened or could care less that I want them to cover thier tattoos
post a picture of her tattoo im intrested in seeing it..
I have a huge tattoo on my arm and im not covering it but to each its own..
I think it'll make your pictures prettier. I'm kind of jealous of people whose bridesmaids/groomsmen have tatoos, But I love tatoos.
I wouldn't ask her to cover it up but what about asking her to wear her hair down for the day if her hair is long enough? I know it isn't what you had imagined your pictures to be like, but it probably won't be that bad and I don't think everyone else will notice either.
I think the day of the wedding you weill have bigger things to worry about than the BM with a new tattoo. I'd just let it go. = )
I agree with the other ladies. It's her body, she can do what she wants with it. Her life does not revolve around your wedding, so she probably didn't even think to mention it. She does not have to ask you or get your permission. My MOH has a big celtic knot piece on her shoulder blade and another on her upper arm. My girls are in dresses that will show both of them.
I agree with photoshop. Photo editing is a wonderful thing.
Just let it go.
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