BM's won't be able to attend our wedding! Should we cancel!?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Since you won’t budge on your vendors and have already paid deposits… I don’t think you have much choice but to just do it. It’s not their fault the date you chose won’t work for them.

Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@slc201329:  Sounds like you have to stick to your date. Any chance the BMs who can’t come to the blessing/reception could be included in the private ceremony? Then they could still be part of your special day if not the celebration and blessing afterwards. 

Post # 5
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Will you lose your deposit(s) if you switch the date with the venue and caterer?  If you really want your friends to be there and you haven’t sent invites out, just switch it again. 

I know it’s frustrating but, if it means all the difference in the world to have your friends there, then wait until they can be there.  If you are ok doing it without them, then keep your original date.

 

 

Post # 6
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you should continue with your plans. 

I don’t think it’s necessary or reasonable to change everything for just two people. They’re your friends, not your husband or your parents — friends. They are not essential to the event, even though you love them and want them to be there.

Don’t scrap your plans just because they won’t be there. 

Post # 7
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@slc201329:  I understand that you are frustrated and disappointed, but I would just keep the date for the blessing, I think it’s a bit late to change it and likely one of the vendors you have won’t be available on another day. Maybe the best friends can go to the private ceremony?

Post # 8
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@HeartsandSparkles:  I like the idea of having the bridesmaids go to the private ceremony. 

Post # 9
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@slc201329:  I say go through with your current plans so you don’t lose your deposits and learn to live wtih the fact that your friends won’t be able to make it.  It’s disappointing but no matter how much you plan, there will always be a few people that can’t make it for whatever reason.  Your friend with the baby due gets a pass because you can’t hold something like that against a friend.  As for the other friend, family events trumph friend events.

Post # 10
Member
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Oh no :*( 

I’m sorry your friends can’t make it!

However- I’m on the boat of go through with your current plans! This day will be a happy day for you no matter what! You and your friends can celebrate privately at another time 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I can see why you’re upset, but I agree with PPs, you should stick with your plans

Post # 12
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Can you invite them to the legal wedding that you are having prior to the wedding? At least they will technically see you get married. I am sure as they are your BFFs that they will keep it quiet. That is the only real option because they cannot attend the blessing ceremony. Best of luck!

Post # 13
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Since it’s not even your real wedding I don’t think it’s as important that they won’t be there. Obviously you want them there to celebrate with you, but it’s not like they’re going to see you get married so it’s just another party. I’d just keep your current plans and celebrate with the two bms a different time. 

Post # 14
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

Like all of life’s great decisions it comes down to priorities.  Which is more important?  Food cooked by a certain person, or having your friends in attendance?

I don’t think either is right, or wrong, just different.

Post # 15
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I wouldn’t cancel because two friends couldn’t make it!

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