Weddingbee boards

I'm really glad you started this forum discussion because I was disturbed that the other one on board etiquette was singling someone out. Which, by the way, is definitely on my list of things not to do. We've had that problem before, on WeddingBee and Project Wedding, and I'm happy when the mods close them.

I like the idea of coming together to discuss the right and wrong thing to do on boards because I know I'd be pretty upset if someone sent me a personal message telling me I was doing something wrong when I thought I was being polite. I think we should all remember that we're coming from different places and that we might have different opinions on what's proper and we shouldn't make assumptions about other Bees we don't know.

I think it's also best to avoid saying negative things about traditions or wedding decisions we might not agree with. If you don't think a cash bar is the best option because it means guests will have to handle money, but you can understand budget brides needing to utilize this option, say so - don't just say they're "tacky." I'm especially disappointed when I see entire forums devoted to things we hate about weddings or things we find tacky. You're almost certain to hurt someone's feelings.

Oh, and I should also say that I don't mind when someone "bumps" their forum thread because they didn't get any responses. I've seen a lot of girls looking for advice who do this because their post gets lost in the mass of others. We get a lot of "hot topics" that get a lot of attention, and they tend to dominate the top of the boards.

I really hope that we don't get so nit-picky with our etiquette suggestions that we start limiting the number of thank you's a person can say or we start flagging people who "bump" their post. I don't exactly think these are "flaggable" offenses, and it's probably hurtful to the girls who are just looking for some advice or extra polite.

I agree with all of these as good suggestions.  I never noticed the flag button until this morning, and there is a reason it is there, as well as with the ability to add a comment.  I believe good etiquette does include posting a comment to someone's post to say something supportive or congratulate them, etc, but that the overall intent is not to increase the count, etc.

As long as we can keep a positive attitude all-around, which includes like rosy chicklet said, looking for other's posts and perhaps giving them some advice or wisdom if none has been offerred, I think that should maintain the overall fairness and intention of the boards.  Venting is appropriate in regards to certain situations in regards to weddings, but not in regards to specific users.  I think this is a great way for us to discuss.

Generally speaking, the hive is an incredibly supportive environment. There were a few suggestions above that I don't agree with.

1- Bumping when you posted on off hours, or even on hours.  It may be a more specific question that requires just the right person to find it like rosychicklet so graciously responds to.

2- Limiting the # of threads per day. For instance, when I had one day to do a million things in SF, I had to post more than a few threads as they were different topics.

3- For work I do everything through the back end of our web site so I don't know if this is possible but it would be really helpful if there was a drop down of "popular posts - FAQ by members" so that people can easily access the info without starting a "how do I address an envelope question?" - any question that's pretty straighforward and been answered many times.

4- I save my posts and responses to favorites but they don't appear in my profile - and it's a pain to access. I would love to wrap things up - how things went but sometimes I can't find my original post?

5- Leaving flagging up to the community is in my opinion working for a social networking/online dating company bad news.  Someone may not like your username and flag you.  It's terrible :-(

6- I'd make a suggestion that to "compose" your post - meaning think of what information you can give us that will help us help other members. All too often people's questions are so vague that the first 10 responses are just to gather info that the poster already knows.  Just be thoughtful and detailed enough so that solutions will be easier!

:-)

pinwheelspoprocks and Chela429 touched on this, but sometimes questions are posted when the identical question has been asked recently.  I don't think duplicate question-posts are a huge deal, but it can get kind of redundant if a bunch of folks post questions that have already been answered a hundred times.

I think good board etiquette is to do a quick search on WeddingBee to see if any related pages are returned before posting a question on the boards.

I think as long as everyone's considerate of eachother, we should be ok. I mean, we're all in love, right?! Lets not forget that!!

Stay positive and happy

I second what chicagowife said. Yes, it gets old to see the same things, sometimes within a day or two of each other. But I'm sure that early on I asked a question that had been asked a million times, and it was the friendliness that drew me in and kept me here. I'm very (overly) sensitive to rejection and hate feeling like people think I'm an idiot, so if I'd encountered an "omg that's been asked a zillion times why didn't you search first!" response I would have left quickly. I do appreciate being linked to old threads and the wiki tho, since I'm godawful at using search engines, and tend to have trouble finding what I'm looking for. Add to that what's been said about each situation being a bit different, and I really wouldn't discourage people from posting whatever they need help with.

 One thing I find a bit irritating, that's not worth flagging over, but maybe listing in a general orientation, is commenting without bothering to read what's been said before. I recently got a comment that completely ignored not only the comments that had been made already, but the actual point of my original post. The person had obviously looked at the title and no further. That's just kind of annoying.

And I totally second the closing down old threads but leaving them up to read. Way too many posts on threads that are 6+ months old.

That's all I have! I would definitely love some kind of orientation to be available tho, I was SO confused when I first started, and there are still things I'm not clear on (like what's a "flaggable" offense?).

Oh, and I'd add, don't use all caps (except for emphasis), especially in a title. That's just bad *internet* etiquette!

And last thing, and I swear I'll quit, I don't think regular members should be doing ANY policing at all. You get people who are major sticklers for the rules that run everyone off for doing something out of ignorance. The hostesses and mr. and mrs. bee are perfectly capable of handling any violations, and if you think something needs to be brought to their attention, PM them or flag the violator. It's not anyone else's place to start telling people they need to follow the rules.

I think an answer that suggests Googling is not a helpful answer. It's not providing advice/ideas and the person asking has likely already checked out search engines for help. That's why they come to the hive, to get better, detailed answers from real people.

I definitely agree with chicago wife and think its a great point. I was so green in the beginning and knew nothing about planning a wedding. I was scared off on The Knot by people who were aggravated by me asking "common" questions that "have been discussed a million times before. " It was so nice to find this community and I loved how helpful people were. I really hope that attitude continues. With Mrs. Bee in charge I am sure it will.

I thought of one more suggestion!  It would be great to encourage people to post new threads in the appropriate section (invitations, diy, reception, etc.) and to use tags.  I know I'm guilty of forgetting sometimes, but it makes locating information so much easier, and it only takes a second to do!

I'm not quite sure what to think of the 'bump' idea. I don't think its bad if a bride is doing it to keep her post on the first few pages if its an important question. I think sometimes posts get 'lost' in all the other ones and some brides may not get much if any feedback.

On the hundreds of redundant threads, it might be a neat thing to do a sticky FAQ or "Read This First!" on the Beehive, one that people can continue to add to with things like "No one will think you are crazy for wearing an ivory dress" (for real, I saw someone ask that once on here) and "a really good way to find examples of DIY projects is to [give instructions to Wiki and/or how to filter the blog for the DIY tag). That way it is a more personal approach than simply saying "Don't ask stupid questions" or "Don't ask without having first doing all the research" but gives people a place to start. Weddingbee is big enough now that if you're not used to it it can be a little overwhelming at first.