Post # 1
I’ve always been the type to scrutinize myself, body and habits.. With my wedding closing in I’m doing it more than ever and really making myself a nervous wreck.
I don’t want to sit here and tell you all about my insecurities so I’ll just limit my ramblings to two main worries.
Worry number one:
I am a sicilian girl and what comes with the territory of Sicilian/Italian background is dark body hair. I wouldn’t say I’m an ape or anything, I don’t have a lot of body hair, it’s just so dark that it is very noticeable.. When I was young and picked on a lot about it I got into the habit of shaving my arms and lower back but really, it’s annoying and I wish I never started doing it.. It’s a habit that’s stuck with me. I’m afraid that, with my olive skin and dark hair, in a White wedding gown, even if I do continue my arm shaving it will be something everyone will see!
Worry number two:
From a very young age I’ve been biting my nails and cuticles.. Pretty badly too…
My wonderful Fiance had actually gotten me out of the habit of biting my nails and I am proud to say they are strong and healthy and I haven’t chewed my nails in over six months!
My problem is that, as nail biting was a nervous/boredom habit that I did without really thinking about it, I substituted the nail biting by focusing ony poor cuticles… I bought cuticle cream and have been trying SO HARD to stay away from them but when I’m nervous it just happens on a subconscious level and I don’t even realize until it’s too late. I’ve been trying so hard that I’ve limited the damage to just my thumbs but it just looks so ugly and I don’t want ugly fingers on my wedding day! I’m afraid it won’t heal in the five months until the wedding..
I just really need some support and encouragment right now, and if you have advice you would like to give that would be nice too.
Im over thinkin everything, I know, but I can’t help it and I’m driving myself crazy 🙁
Post # 3
Aww…I so totally want to just give you a hug right now.
About the body hair. I hear you. I’m Mexican/German/Irish. I am one hairy mo-fo. Body hair can be minimized through photoshop (bless photoshop). On the day, I promise, no one will be looking close enough to see if you have arm stubble or not. However, if it is something you’re really nervous about…now might be the time to think about waxing or epilating? Not necessarily for the next 5 months but maybe a month or so before the wedding? Once to get over the pain and the second time just for upkeep?
As far as cuticles, try bitter apple. I know they have this specifically for people who bite their nails but for right now, I can only think of the stuff we use for the dogs. It makes your nails and your cuticles taste horrible-bitter. It’s not gonna stop it completely but it might make you more conscious of the habit. Also, carry around some gum or something to satisfy that oral fixation.
The other thing that helped me was using coconut oil on my cuticles. It healed them up so well, there was nothing to pick at.
I don’t want to say that you’re worrying over nothing because I’ve been there but no one is going to go home from your wedding saying “did you see her hairy arms and her peeling cuticles??? Eugh!”. They will, invariably, say that you were beautiful and lovely regardless of stubble on your arms and peeling on your cuticles. I promise.
Post # 4
@KaitKitten: On the day all that will matter is you and your man. Your friends aren’t there to judge you,they are there to support you and your man.You will look beautiful just as you are.
Post # 5
@SockJunkie: Virtual hug 🙂
Thank you, I may just do the waxing.. As for my cuticles idk. I try to keep my hands moisturized and everything it’s just hard with work. I’m an industrial X-ray tech so I get covered in gunk from the X-ray machines and am constantly washing my hands so they get soooo dry, so put the dryness on top of the chewing damage… I feel like I’m fighting an uphill battle and the hill keeps getting steeper!
@Kimy: Thank you dear, that made me smile 🙂
Post # 6
@KaitKitten: I pick my cuticles because of my anxiety. If I have a particularly bad or ugly one, I put a ton of neosporin (spelling?) on it and cover it with a bandaid for a few days. Then I”m not tempted to pick it and I also don’t see it so I’m not as tempted to keep picking at it.
I feel you on the handwashing drying out your skin. i work with kids and they are germy little buggers so I’m constantly washing my hands or using hand sanitizer. What worked for me is putting vasaline all over my hands at night, put on somepowerfree latex gloves and then socks over the gloves. The vasaline will moisture you hands like no other product I’ve found.
I also keep L’Occitane’s Shea Butter hand cream in my desk and purse and put it on after I wash my hands at work. It’s super moisturizing.
Not sure if youre allowed to wear nail polish at work since you work in a medical environment, but I also found that getting shellac manicures seriously cut down on my cuticle picking. For some reason my cuticles didn’t get so out of control when I had the shellac. But it is kind of expensive to do every two weeks plus the UV rays on your hands but it might be worth it to start a month or so before your wedding to try to keep your cuticles as nice as possible.
Post # 7
@KaitKitten: I have been biting my nails for 27 years and I (think I) quit for good now because I’m waiting on an engagement ring and I want to be able to show it off! I subconciously pick everything! If you want your cuticles to heal, five months is plenty of time! What I do is keep neosporin and band-aids on the ones that look really bad. If you put them on at night you can leave them 8-10 hours and that will really help them heal. if you can leave them on during the day even better. CONGRATS on stopping the nail biting! – seriously, it was easier for me to quit smoking than quit biting my nails so I KNOW how hard it is! Keep lotion on your hands too, it will make them instantly look better. Also I don’t know if you paint your nails, but when I have mine nicely painted I am much less likely to pick at them because they look pretty. Good luck!
Post # 8
I can totally relate to the nail biting! I’ve done it forever and around christmas my nails were perfect and then started breaking (they are naturally thin). I’m hoping by the time my wedding rolls around they will be back to looking nice.
Post # 9
@emmalyn: I’m a smoker and obviously stoping the biting was easier than not smoking.. Guess everyone is different! Still have the smoking habit.. As much as I’d like to stop smoking, it helps with my stress and I’m afraid the second I quit I’m gonna blow up like a balloon and be a giant heap of anxiety. Of course fear of weight gain and added anxiety is really such a pansyass-lame excuse. Lol.
I think if I kick my picking and biting of the cuticles I can slowly work on quitting smoking.
Im glad I’m not alone with the nail biting! A funny little tidbit: My Fiance helped me stop biting my actual nails because one day he made a bet with me. I told him I could go longer with out biting my nails than he could go without being a dick when he had a toothache (he has a lot of teeth problems). Alas, I won that bet 😉 he’s a Grump when his teeth hurt.
Post # 10
@KaitKitten: My SO helped too just by hating it so much! (And also I think it’s funny you call your Fiance a Grump because my SO and I call each other Grumps too!) My anxiety has been reduced due to some positive life changes so I think that helped me quit both smoking and nail-biting. I also went to some counseling and that helped with the anxiety before I got real control over my life. I have also started running and that’s what KEEPS me away from the cigarettes. I would have never been able to run 10 miles when I smoked.
Post # 11
@KaitKitten: I definitely feel you on the body hair thing, haha – I’m half Sicilian.
I waxed my arms and sideburns the morning before the wedding since I prefered to not have that dark body hair on my wedding day. I’m sure it would’ve been fine if I left it, but it was a sinch to quickly take it off with Veet wax strips.
I had a nervous habit as well – still have it, actually. I bite and pick at my lips :/
It was pretty bad during the planning, but I was pretty disciplined the month leading up to the wedding and then VERY good the week before. As much as the cuticle and nail issues ail you right now, you’ll likely be really motivated to be good when the wedding day gets closer 🙂
Post # 12
@KaitKitten: I bite my nails, have done for many years, I am getting acrylics/gel nails before the wedding. Maybe you could get fake nails too?
Post # 13
@emmalyn: I really want to quit smoking.. Sometime soon perhaps!
@lorelai: Thanks! I will def take your advice and do the waxing before the wedding.
And I’m just gonna wrap my fingers up and not look at them until a week before the big day haha.
@traveller: I actually have really long strong nails…. I don’t bite mine anymore. Plus I hate fake nails. A tip for you, if you want your nails to be strong and healthy: stop getting acrylics.
Acrylics damage your nails, especially if you are getting them all the time. It makes them weak and can cause peeling. I got acrylics one time in my life when I was much younger and it took a year for my nails to repair themselves.
Post # 14
First thing – deep breath!
I’m of Spanish background and I feel you on the olive skin/black hair thing. I currently have to pluck eyebrows and upper lip and shave EVERYTHING (including hands and feet!). Shaving works well for the everyday but I second PPs who have recommended waxing, at least for the arms which are going to be on show (I’m assuming your legs are covered by your dress). You could also look into laser hair removal if you have the money, but it’s quite expensive, and for people like us you often need a lot of sessions. I plan on waxing my arms before the wedding.
I also pick at the skin around my nails – not a good look for close up ring photography – and my plan is to put band-aids on the worst ones, and also try to be conscious of doing it during down time at work or at uni to hopefully train myself out of it.
I was really stressing too – my main worry is I have huge, ugly self-injury scars on my left forearm as well as some smaller ones on my right – but my Fiance was like ‘who would notice that when you’re a beautiful bride, with stunning hair and makeup and a gorgeous dress!’.
Post # 15
You’re probably not as hairy as u think! We get so critical about ourselves, I couldn’t stand that my hair came down low on my neck, I wanted it all pretty when I put my hair up! Well I paid a lot of money for laser hair removal and I look st pictures now and it doesn’t even look different and I now notice most girls have their hairline come a little lower! We just criticize ourselves like crazy! So just breathe and realize that no one will be at your wedding to judge you, you’re gonna be freaking gorgeous and that’s that! About the nails, how about you start treating yourself to manicures so your cuticles get under control?