Post # 1
Ugh. My fiance moves back to his hometown today to job hunt. I just found a job in my hometown, about 2 hours away from his, so I am stuck here for at least 6 months.
I soooo do not want to do a long distance relationship in the year before we get married. The thing that I don’t get is why I have been such a crybaby about it. I am not a crier, at all. This past week I have been on the verge of tears pretty much all the time. The stupid part is, I am going to see him on Tuesday for some wedding planning stuff in his hometown where we’re getting married. I’ll see him next weekend, and he’s coming to see me the weekend after that! When did I turn into such a baby? I think about the practicalities of us living apart for a while, but in my head I just wail "but I don’t want him to leaveee meee!" We’re ready to move in together, but instead we’re moving 2 hours apart.
I just feel like crap about the whole situation. Me being so upset about it is making it hard on him. Where is all this emotion coming from?
I am trying my best to be positive about it. Him not being here will give me plenty of time to spend with my family, work out, read, etc. It’s just a sucky situation….anyone else out there doing a long distance engagement? How do you deal? Are you as overly-emotional about it as me?
Post # 3
My FI and I got engaged in March, we’re currently about 5 hours apart. We only were seeing each other once a month, and now it’ll be about 2 months before we see each other again, and at that point, we’ll be moving in together. It’s a little over a year until our wedding date, but it’s not as hard as it seems.
You’ve got it right so far, thing of all the things you can do, not the things you can’t. You really get to know yourself better when you’re so far apart, and when you see each other again, things are much more special.
Kepp your head up, it gets easier!
Post # 4
Is there any way that he could move down to your area to find a job since you have one right now?
Post # 5
My FI and I did long distance for a few years. When it first started, I thought my world was ending. We were 2.5 hours away, and while that is nothing compared to people who have SO’s in the military, it is still hard. The first few months were really rough. Not only did I miss him, but we were fighting constantly. About stupid, little things. Don’t let this happen to you. If you can forgive little things you will be so much happier. For me, it was a jealousy thing. Not jealousy in the sense that he was with girls or anything. I was jealous because his work, his family, his friends all got a piece of him and I didn’t. Like I said, it’s a stupid thing, but it hit me hard. The key to a LDR is communication. Talk to him as much as you can. What got me through the time we spent apart was looking forward to events. So for example, in your case you can think of it as, "there are only X amount of days until ___." It may be something as big as a holiday, or something as little as a quiet weekend with just the two of you.
I wrote a blog post a few months ago about our time spent apart. Here is the link:
If you need to talk about it, feel free to PM me. I have a lot of rambling thoughts about long distance relationships. Just know that you’ll get through it. It’s only a year (I know that’s probably the last thing you want to hear, but it will go by so fast, I promise). Happy 4th 🙂
Post # 6
I know exactly how you feel! The brightside is you two are ONLY 2hrs away…I’m in Dallas and my FI is in Chicago! Not a driving distance…Both of us are pretty much depressed about this distance thing which only happened a few months ago when I had to leave Chicago for a job. We are now realizing that although we made the "correct" decision for me to continue with a job and to keep a job (especially given this economy), but we are also becoming painfully aware that we do not want to be apart any longer than necessary. So, come Fall, I’m moving back. Once I had a time frame of when we’ll be back together in the same city, it made me feel a bit better…still not easy, but help eases the pain.
Another positive(?) side is this distance has made the "hearts grow fonder"…I just never knew how much I could miss someone! I’ve been in long distance relationships before where I was strong and independent, really didn’t get bothered by the distance as much as I have been in the past few months. Now I’m wondering if it wasn’t all that I’m strong, but I just hadn’t met the right person! 🙂
I wish you all the best, stay strong, and really, I wish I was in your shoes…at least when you desparately want to see him, you can hop in a car or on a train and go see him! Much love and good thoughts to you~
Oh, and Congrats on your engagement and happy planning!
Post # 7
My FI and I have done long distance for the majority of our relationship. Now it is Maryland to Oklahoma! The best advice I have is to make sure you are on the same page with each other about what to expect in terms of visits and communication. It helps to know when the next visit is or even the next phone call. We may not talk on the phone everyday, sometimes I will just send an email or text message. Just make sure he knows what you need to still feel close to him.
Post # 8
Thank you guys so much! I feel better all ready :). You are right, I am so blessed that he’s only 2 hours away. We are trying to plan out our visits so I can focus on that. Luckily, he’s moving to the city we’re getting married in, so we can do lots of planning stuff when I see him.
Thanks everyone! *hugs*
Post # 9
FH moved 3 hours away back in January for a job opportunity (pretty much his dream job) and it hasn’t been bad at all. We talk every day (when he isn’t traveling for work – like this week), we text throughout the day when we can, see each other on weekends. I really don’t think it has been much of an issue for us, and it has really helped us spend more time concentrating on work, and I have been spending more time with family and friends.
That being said, in 3 weeks it is over because we bought a house and I got transferred to the hospital there, I am glad that we will be together, but I think I might miss my independence a bit (I am a very independent girl … so the "we" aspect of living together and merging lives is gonna kill me)
Post # 10
My FH and I have been long distance throughout our relationship. We grew up together, so we really know each other, bu as long as we’ve dated we’ve lived 8 hrs apart. That equated to seeing each other every 2-6 months. I’ve lived 2000 miles away for the last 4 months but will be seeing him in 12 days 🙂 It can be tough, but I feel we know how to communicate way better than most couples because of it. Our whole relationship has been based on communication.
Post # 11
I say one of you move closer to be in the other’s hometown, you live in the same country!
me and my babe met while we lived in different continents the only way we could be with each other is to marry
if you dont like LDR Is ay one of you work closer to the other so you live in the same city
Post # 12
Aww, I’m sorry to hear that! My fiance and I will be semi-long-distance for an indeterminate amount of time. He’s going to be working 2.5 hours away for three days a week, and working from home the other two days. So it’s not terrible, especially since I’ll be busy in a graduate program. But we plan on keeping in touch through chats and emails during the days when we’re away from one another. I’d say that the most important part of long-distance relationships is learning to really appreciate the time you have with each other: make it meaningful with special dates and good conversation and memorable experiences. I bet the time away will make you even crazier about one another!
Post # 13
I live 5 hours away from my fiance and it is taking a HUUUGE toll our our relationship!! I hate it!! I feel like so many things are different. That’s just us I hope you have a better situation that I do. Maybe EAQ is right, don’t fight over stupid little things. I think I’ll take that same advice. It’s hard but it’s wonderful to make the most out of when you DO get to see each other.