Booked a Venue, Planning a Wedding BUT NO PROPOSAL

posted 2 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
6614 posts
Bee Keeper

He has a good head on his shoulders if he follows through. From what you’ve said, he sounds like a reasonable guy. When I was pre-engaged, I didn’t plan anything officially because I didn’t want to jinx it. Plus, we knew we wanted a simple wedding that didn’t need months to years to plan (although we are enjoying the leisurely pace at which we can plan now). Everyone does things their own way, and the proposal will be wonderful and memorable no matter how it happens. Enjoy the anticipation! Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
6891 posts
Busy Beekeeper

If you are planning a wedding, that means you have agreed to get married. By definition, you are engaged, with or without the ring. 

Post # 4
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You know what? The actual engagement is NOTHING. The wedding, also nothing. It’s the marriage that’s important. If you two are working together towards being married, the proposal, the parties, the wedding, it really doesn’t matter. They’re formalities.

Post # 6
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

I wish I could tag people so they could see this post!

Look up damarajade as she is in this exact position so I’m sure will be able to sympathise and you guys will be able to help each other out 🙂

 

I also agree with previous posters. You guys are engaged anyway and the ring/proposal is really just a formality. Be excited that it is coming soon but don’t worry that you don’t have it yet. A lot of girls are here waiting and have no idea when / if they will ever be proposed to who would love to be in your position. 

Post # 7
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Iheartmyairman:  If you’re planning a wedding together it means you’re already engaged. Why does he need to ask you to marry him? Does he think after all this planning you’ll say no?

Post # 8
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Iheartmyairman:  We’re doing the exact same thing! Exactly… we have the venue booked with the deposit down, guest list made, save-the-dates made and ready to be ordered, colors and menu picked out. I recently put him on photography duty so he can set up a date for engagement photos… my criteria is that I have to have the ring for them. So I told him to set up a time with his friend, and to keep the proposal a surprise I only need a day’s notice, maybe less.

My SO’s getting my ring custom-made, which takes awhile. Maybe your’s is doing the same? Or something similar? Have you told him what kind of rings you like? Maybe he’s planning a super special proposal! 

And I do agree with PPs. You and I are technically engaged. But I still want to give my SO the opportunity to have his moment 😉

Post # 9
Member
1907 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

If you’re planning a wedding, then you’re already engaged! Yay! Honestly though, it doesn’t make sense for him to ask for your parents’ blessing after you’ve fixed the date and booked the venue already, but each to their own I guess. 

I don’t want your wedding planning to be tainted with resentment over a lack of proposal though; you only get to plan a wedding once after all! You might want to ask for an earlier-than-he-plans proposal with a cheap ring if that isn’t a big deal for you. If it is a big deal, then you can always upgrade as an anniversary gift!

Post # 10
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

MrsYoshida:  I agree.

If you’re booking and planning, then you’re engaged! The ring and popping the question is just a formality, albeit an important formality. But, I have to say, I don’t think he’d allow you to set a date, book stuff and plan, if he didn’t actually want to marry you.

 

Post # 12
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Iheartmyairman:  It sounds like he just wants your ring to be perfect.  That’s something I’ve had to learn to accept over the past few months… he may be taking FOREVER, but it’s because he’s put so much effort into thinking about it and making it happen.

I hope your proposal happens soon!

Post # 13
Member
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I’m also not “technically” engaged but he told to start getting ideas and vision of what we want. Of course that has me EXCITED but I also haven’t been proposed too yet. He keeps telling it will happen and to be patient but I’m getting impatient lol. I haven’t officially booked anything but already started planning to get ideas how of much things cost.

Post # 14
Member
1433 posts
Bumble bee

To be engaged really just means you’re planning to marry.  I think some of these stories get a bit silly with people worried about the guy formally proposing when you’ve decided to marry already.  I know My Mom said her proposal was my Dad saying, “do you think we should get married or something?” and them discussing, deciding yes and going out for a ring.  And I think that happens often.  So – you’re over-worrying this!!  The proposal will be fun but its really just an opportunity to have a special moment between you too, you’ve already decided to get married.  Whether he asked or you asked or how that came about.  

Post # 15
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

Iheartmyairman:  This is very similar to what we did and don’t worry my FI came through with a ring just one and a half months into planning.

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