(Closed) Booking Venues/Paying for things before being engaged “officially”…???

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’ve shared this many many many times on weddingbee, but yes, we booked the venue before we were officially engaged.

However, we were just waiting for the ring to be made. We were completely open about everything, and it was actually HIS idea to book the venue because it books up pretty far in advance. What I want to emphasize is that we were 100% on the same page, as were our parents.

Some people considered us engaged at that point, but we like to say we had “made the decision to get married” then. He had something special planned for the proposal (which happened 2 weeks after booking the venue), so we consider that point when we got “engaged”.

Post # 4
Member
36 posts
Newbee

He just bought the ring last weekend, so I know he has it (I was there).  We discussed it in advance and decided to go ahead and book a venue before we are even engaged.  We live in MN, so booking after I got engaged in the next few months would give us very little time to plan a summer wedding next year.  Getting married in the winter up here is a little bit nasty.  Also, waiting to book a venue for a summer wedding next year has major drawbacks as venue dates open on Saturdays get filled up rather fast.

I am looking at two venues this weekend and we may just put the downpayment on one in particular.  We’ll see.  We just want to get our place cemented down so we have a place to go to next year.  It’s all about being pragmatic, and we are always on the same page about each stage of the engagement.  The only surprise I want from this is the proposal!

Post # 5
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

look at the archives at mrs. avocado’s posts. she wrote about this some.

Post # 6
Member
15 posts
Newbee

We’re in the process of booking our venue/caterer and I will probably buy my dress tomorrow. We’re engaged (have decided to get married and set a date), but not “officially.” Our parents know, but we won’t be telling anyone else until he gets the ring and proposes (hopefully soon!).

Post # 7
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

@mispriss1215:Once my BF gave me a timeline, that was enough for me.  I don’t wanna jump and start planning anything without him…and if I try to do it with him, he will feel pressure and it will make it seem like a chore for him.  He told me within the year… it wouldn’t feel official buying a dress or picking a venue until I know for sure we’re engaged and he’s on board.  I also feel kind of silly going and looking at places and things without a ring.  I know I shouldn’t care what people say, but I feel like I’d be judged as over-eager and a wanna-be bride [not saying that’s what anyone is!!  but people can be cruel!].  I guess I just want it to feel more official…so I’ll look at things alone and maaaaybe with him, but for the most part, we’re not engaged until we’re engaged and I don’t want to do anything until then.

Post # 8
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

We’re not officially engaged yet. We designed the ring together, but (I’m pretty sure) it isn’t ready yet. We already picked our date and are booking our venue on Monday. Honestly, I was a little nervous to make appointments to look at venues without having the ring on my finger, but so far if anyone noticed, they didn’t mention anything about it. I have a friend who thinks it’s strange that we didn’t wait until we were officially engaged, but we knew what we wanted and didn’t want to take the chance that our dream venue would get booked on our dream date while we were sitting around waiting for my ring to be ready. In my opinion, that’s just silly.

Post # 9
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh, just to be clear, my silly comment isn’t directed at anyone on this site. I was just a little annoyed at my friend for her comment to me about how odd it was that we started planning when we weren’t even engaged yet. Once I designed the ring and my SO pluncked down the cash for it, we were unofficially engaged. I didn’t see the point in waiting. 😉

Post # 10
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mispriss1215: We already have a venue booked. Only because things book here fast. In fact the venue we booked was already booked through May of 2012!

Post # 11
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

we booked our venue – as in had it on reserve and a contract made up. i told them however that i could not officially sign off on the contract and hand it over with the deposit until i had the ring – they made an excecption to their 10 day turnaround for us. however, he had the ring and i knew when it was coming since he planned a weekend away. we brought the contract right over the night we got back from our engagement wknd. we also had met with and decided on a planner.

Post # 13
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

My boyfriend and I just booked our venue this past Saturday and we are not engage yet.  We have discussed our wedding alot and know he will propose by the end of this year so that’s why we booked it.  We aren’t doing anything else until after he proposes but securing the venue was really important to us. 

Post # 14
Member
736 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This is the dilemma that I facing right now. I want to starting inquiring about a few places, but I didn’t really want to do that until I had a ring on finger. After reading these responses, it’s good to know that there are other waiting bees who have done it. I want next October so I know need to start looking pretty quickly.

Post # 15
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I’m not putting down deposits but since things book up and we are paying for everythng ourselves, I am interviewing venues I have been to and gathering information about deposits and prices, etc etc….. He set the timeline of by the end of the year. We have been ring shopping and I am trying to be cool calm and collected, but n my head I am constantly doing back flips and shouting from the top of my lungs! It is really hard to not book things and just hope it will all work out.

Post # 16
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

We’re not yet engaged, but we’ve definitely figured out our venues.

We haven’t reserved them officially, but we will once the proposal is official.

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