Post # 1
Hey my fellow Beez!
I feel bored in my relationship !
First some stuff about so and I.
-we decided not to have sex anymore <until were married for religious ( mostly me )
-been together 4 years
– Do not live with each-other
– See each-other once a week due to school and work
– Waiting to get engaged
OK OK Me and the SO are always very busy and when we do get a chance to talk on the phone its so DAM BORING! now a days. Like theres nothing interesting to talk about we discussed everything on earth. I sometimes catch my self saying ” k babe ill call you back gotta do something”, just so i don’t have to stay on the phone any longer. I really don’t no why. I mean I know couples are not excited about one another every darn day but like seriously ??
I just wanted to post to see if anyone els was feeling bored, or just ehh as i am.
How is it going with you bees?
p.s I LOVE HIM, when we see each other in person its not boring 🙂
Post # 3
I know what you mean. Sometimes my husband and I don’t have a lot to talk about, especially since he can’t really talk about some of the things that go on at work and he is missing out on a lot right now with traveling. I think every relationship has its ‘boring’ phases.
Post # 4
Lulls are completely normal and part of even the healthiest relationships 😀 I’m not there now, but I have been 🙂
Post # 5
hey! my fiance and i hav been together almost 5.5 yrs, we also somewhat held off on sex (due to religious reasons on my part) with exception of every now and then when we can’t control ourselves. we live together and he works all the time and i am in grad school. i think I had a “bored” phase for a couple months when we first moved in because we stopped having outside dates and always did things indoors. but after i spoke to him about it, we really make sure we go out out every other weekend. now, we always text each other throughout the day and talk on the phone for hours when he’s gone on business trips or i am gone on clinical rotations. i think before we used to hold back on talking the other person’s ear off about the most mundane things but surprisingly we love knowing about everything the other person is doing or thinking. there’s always something new u can find out abt someone just by how they think and their behaviours. and when there’s nothing to talk abt…make somethng to talk abt by watching a movie or pick up a hobby together u too can start getting into
Post # 6
It happens, when you are with someone for a long time the general avenues of communication (day to day stuff) can get a little tired.
I have been with my partner for 6.5 years, and “small talk” is old news for us.
I think to get over the lull, or boredom is to find new activities to do either by yourself or together, then you will have something to do, or discuss.
Post # 7
I think it’s normal. FI and I definitely have days when we just don’t feel like doing a whole lot of talking. It never lasts very long and we’re usually pretty open about it to each other. It kind of comes along with being with somebody for a number of years.
Post # 8
You say it isn’t boring in person- maybe you are just not phone people. I don’t like talking on the phone to my SO as much as I do my girlfriends. Unless you are bored with him in person all the time, I wouldn’t worry.
Post # 9
i have been with my fiance for 11 years!!!!!!!!!!!! we have a 3 year old and have a condo and everything.. there are PLENTY of days i dont feel like talking to him lol. It just happends and is normal. But i still love im very much!!!! I kinda hate talking on the phone to anyone now. I dont know why but i just would rather text?? lol
Post # 10
We text occationally during the day. And then for most of the evening. We’re weird and prefer to text rather than chat on the phone 🙂 We are long distance so we text every evening and then spend most weekends together.
We used to chat all day long at work (over IM) but with changes at both of our jobs we had to stop doing that. Probably a good thing too because we wouldn’t have much to say in the evenings.
I’ve had some times like your describing, what helped is we took a vacation day together, we increased our “cool/interesting/upsetting thing I found today” emails (so we had more things to talk about), and we planned a trip together. These things lead to some spirted conversations and I felt more connected and excited.
Post # 11
I went through a similar phase this time last year.. i actually contemplated breaking up with him (we were not engaged at the time). We had already been together for almost 4 years, and we were at the point where we didn’t get to see each other often as I was swamped with school work and he was working full time. He’s not the easiest to hold a phone conversation with although we do talk multiple times a day, for short periods of time. He just really doesn’t like talking on the phone.
It was stressing me out that we didn’t get to see each other and that we were spending less time together than we ever had. On top of that, he was my first real boyfriend, and so many people around me were telling me that I needed to date other people to really know if I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life.
So I sat in my bedroom and just thought. I thought about everything. What we had been through, what it would be like to take on the future together, and what it would be like to end it. The only times I found myself upset and crying was when I thought about ending it. I knew I couldn’t be with anyone else. I knew that since the first four years of our relationship were so good, that this was just a lull and it would get better. And guess what, it did. We’re engaged now and planning our wedding, and couldn’t be happier 🙂
So moral of that long story is to sit and think about it. Think about what you’d feel like if you didn’t have him, and if you could picture yourself being with someone else. If you think you can live without him and find a relationship that suits you better, then break it off. Just do what your heart tells you!
Post # 12
We live and work together, so we’re almost never separated lol. Only when I do things with my own friends or he does things with his, and a lot of times we just all hang out together since our friends overlap, so we very rarely actually spend time apart these days.
When we were long distance, we talked on the phone everyday, but it did get really boring most of the time… and yet at the same time we hated going days without talking. Now that we live together, we can be in the same room doing different things, not even talking, but we still feel like we’re together and we’re never lonely.
It’s really hard to find things to talk about. In your case, it’s been 4 years. Of course you have nothing else to talk about! At this point I think it really is time to take your relationship to the next level (Get engaged, move in together, ect) or it will just remain in limbo forever, but that’s another issue. In any case, not wanting to talk with your boyfriend everyday is completely normal.
Post # 13
My FI and I work together. Every day, all day, we’re no more than 20 feet apart. It’s been this way for over 3 years, and I loves it! I honestly think we’ll have a huge transistion when one of us leaves the company.
I’d venture a guess you get bored with the calls because you’ve set so many boundaries for him, you don’t share enough to talk about. If I were feeling the way you were I would assume the guy isn’t for me. If you think he’s boring now wait for another 30 years! Seriously, what is the purpose of getting married for you? Is it because you want to get married, or because you want to get married to him?
Post # 14
if you’re already bored with him when you only see him once a week, then whats gonna happen when you live together and see him everyday?
Post # 15
@bells:Yeah, I’m afraid we’re going to get flamed for this, but I totally agree with you.
Post # 16
I hate hate hate talking on the phone. DH and I rarely do it. He calls me usually once a day to say he’s leaving work and tells me he loves me. Sometimes it’s more than once but that’s usually if something’s come up (like one of us wants to know what’s for dinner, we’re having a houseguest, etc). Usually we’ll text once a day, sometimes not even that. Occassionally he’ll send me a funny email or something but really we wait until he’s home to talk about our days and such. He knows I hate the phone and he’s crazy busy at work so we tend not to communicate much during the day and that works for both of us.