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OK, this baffles me beyond belief. My best friend just had baby number 3. Sure, on 1 and 2, they hadn't decided on a name until the last month, but the babies had names when they were born - Peter and Hannah. Baby number 3... Nope. They are both too stubborn to give in. She hates the name he chose, he refuses to consider a different name.
This baby is wanted - they were trying for about a year. They had another baby before and they had a boy's name and a girl's name picked out when their daughter was born, so they had a name almost five years ago. They've had at least 7 months to find a new name...
Can someone else explain any sort of rational behind how someone can have a baby and NOT have a name for it?
LOL. This might sound silly but before we were even married, DH and I made up a list of names for girls and boys we both liked. Now, we have enough names to cover 7 kids of each gender. Win-win-win.
As for your friend: You'd think if it was a planned child they would have had a name ready. I imagine something will switch on in their minds and they'll decide on a name neither one of them had even thought of.
I work at a medical call center. We get calls every day from parents who have yet to decide on a name for their newborn.
Sometimes it takes a while before you find something that is right for that particular child.
many observant jews don't share the name until the baby is 8 days old...i know plenty of couples who didn't decide until the 7th day.
Hopefully, picking a name will be easier now that the baby is born. Its also a sure-fire way to make sure his name will fit him.
I don't think it's a really big deal- it's not like it would hurt the baby to not have a given name for a while, since babies don't realy know their names and are often called by nicknames. It is a little weird, though, that they're both so stubborn about it that they couldn't come to a resolution in several months.
I'd like to add that my daughter had a name as soon as we saw she was a girl on the ultrasound. She was Annabelle from week 20 of pregnancy on.
Some belief that you should not name your child until they are born. As mentioned observant jews, they wait to name boys until the 8th day. But, I agree its odd for a child to be weeks old and still not have a name.
As long as they aren't waiting for the child to 'name himself' once he can talk. O.o
But yes, you'd think with 7 months you'd be able to have plenty of adult, rational discussions to either give in or find something new.
Haha, that reminds me of a story. I am a twin, and my parents didn't know if they were having boys or girls, so they came up with a two of each name. When my brother and I were born, they had a hard time choosing just one boy and one girl name, so our original birth certificates say "Baby Blue" and "Baby Pink". They finally decided about a week later!
Thank god we had a girl because my husband and I were not in any sort of agreement on boys' names. If we had a boy, we might still be looking for a name... 9 months later.
Our baby is currently nameless and I'm 30 weeks. We will not pick out one name before the baby is born, she might not look like the name we choose, and I can see it getting more confusing if she doesnt match the names we eventually get on our list.
My husband refused to pick a name for our daughter before he officially met her, he needed to see what she looked like. We had a list with several names, but nothing was set in stone. Once we saw her, it was easier to name her.
Sometimes you just need to know the baby to name it. Sometimes the name you picked doesn't fit the baby.
My mom loves telling this story: When she was in the hospital to have me, there was another woman having a baby that day, and on her room the baby was listed as "Oh, boy."
(Last name Oh, baby boy's name undecided.)
I can, as a fairly observant Jew, that while names are often revealed on the 8th day (at the baby naming or bris), most Jews I know already have them picked out!
We're only 10 weeks along, but already have boy and girl names (Hebrew and secular), we just aren't telling anyone yet!
But I've heard of a lot of couples struggling with this, it can be hard to name a baby, such a big responsibility! Hopefully your friends come to an agreement soon, I've also heard stories of one parent putting a name on the birth certificate behind the other parent's back!
my sister didn't know what to name her duagther for about a day. She finally came up with Isla Maple. She said that she wanted to get to know the baby before giving her a name that didn't suit her.
Ok this might be shocking but I wasn't named until I was 3 months old. I was born in Russia and this was fairly common. No one had names picked out before the birth because people are pretty supersticioius and don't want to jinx anything by naming the baby before it is born, (same reason why people NEVER bought anything for they baby before it was born). So most babies in Russia go without a name for as many as a few months. My younger brother also went a few months without a name, (although we did have tons of cute pet names for him).
I had a name picked out for my now 9 year old. I loved the name. I shared the name. It was a great name. Then I made the mistake of telling her dad that it sounded like his mom's name. He suddenly didn't like it. I was 8 months pregnant with no name. We settled on a name a few weeks later. Within a day of picking the name, I went into labor (6 weeks early). The name she ended up with fits her sooo much better. I'm bummed that it became really common, but it fits her well.
I worked in a hospital that had a birthing center and NICU. A lot of the newborns didn't have names right away! So if there were twins (for example), we would get orders for Baby A Last Name and Baby B Last Name.
@camrie: Haha, true, but I think she had a little more leeway being a pro. I don't know too many attorneys or nurses or everyday folks named Picaboo or Mimi-Siku (shout out to all my Jungle 2 Jungle fans).
My daughter had her name from before I knew she was a girl - She was going to be Zane if she was a boy and Emersyn if she was a girl so Emersyn it was! Her middle name was the hard one- I wanted Emersyn James (for my gpa) but I was nice & let her father (who bearly sees her & lives 3hrs away) pick her middle name so now she is Emersyn Renee
Kind of neat to hear about the different cultural/personal reasons for not having a name ready. Much better than "we're too stubborn to agree."
@firsttimemom: Me too! I'm vaguely obsessed with names. We have two girls names picked out, and a list of boys names we both like, and we aren't even planning on TTC for another year.
As a side note, his sister wants to name him Jesus. The brother had such helpful suggestions, like Soup.
I definitely intend to have a name picked out long before we go to the hospital. I gues son the off chance we decide our child looks nothing like the name we intended, we might switch, but we'd have a new name within hours.
It's definitely strange to me to go that long after birth without naming your baby.
Ehh, I didn't have a name for a few days when I was born. My mom couldn't decide between Lindsay and Ashley, and it took her a while.
My friend and her husband had not decided on a name for their second child so they called him Baby X for the first week. Because of that, his name ended up be Xander.
Doesn't seem all that weird to me. I find it odder when people have the name all picked out and set in stone months before the baby is born, and start telling people the name then, too. For example, my cousin had her daughter's name written on the baby shower cake, and I thought, "that's weird, what if when she comes out she just doesn't seem like a "Madison"?"
When I was born I didn't have a name. My parents couldn't agree and my mom spent some time in the delivery room "waiting for a sign". It came eventually, and I left the hospital with a name.
Me and my FI picked out baby names together before we were even engaged :). He was actually excited about it. We ended up going with Mitchell Jay and Alannah Auden. We don't have a baby yet and won't for a few more years. However I do think I will wait like a day after they are born to decide if it fits them :) We have like 5 more baby names of each gender to pick from anyway.
My mom didn't have a name. Then they gave her a name...and then they changed it again about 2 weeks later. Sometimes you just don't know.
My little nephew was probably 4 days old until he had a name. I've heard of many people throwing all their chosen names out the door when their baby was born because it didn't fit. It makes sense to me. You're giving the little one a name they will live with for forever...better to take your time than to just settle on a name.
My second cousin didnt have a name for 6 months. He has two older siblings (3 and 5) who still just call him "the baby" because his parents couldnt make up their minds. I guess they just wanted to find the right name!
My FH and I have been trying to pick a boy name for over a year. We aren't pregnant and talk about it often, but would probably talk about it more often if we were pregnant. I could really see this happening to us. he gets tuck on the worst names and thinks the same of the names I get stuck on. It is a big deal, a name is important and I would rather take a few days to make sure the name was something we both liked before settling.
Depending on the laws of what state you live in, some require you name the baby before the baby leaves the hospital.
A friend of mine had a baby in October 09. When they sent out Christmas cards that year they were still deciding what to name the baby. They actually had to call up the printing place twice to get them to change the name on the cards!!
Here it's pretty standard for people not to reveal the name of the baby until it's babtized. And that sometimes happens a few months after birth.
LOL!
My brother didn't have a name for TWO WEEKS!
My dad had chosen one, and it was up on the "board" but as soon as my dad left the hospital, my mom took it down and they argued about it for two weeks until they came up with a new one.
My dad still sometimes calls him the original name ;)
@Bubu82: Completely agree. My FSIL just had a baby yesterday and it was so anti-climactic as we already knew all the details! They found out they were having a boy, decided on a name, and have been referring to him by their chosen name for the past 20 weeks, including signing Christmas cards etc with the baby's name before he was born. Yesterday's birth was induced too so there was no excitement about when the baby was going to arrive, what it was going to be, or what the name was. The only exciting question to be asked was 'how big is he?' To each their own, but I just get a bit squeamish when I hear people referring to their unborn baby by their chosen name.
I went to Outward Bound with a chick who didn't tknow the name of her own youngest sister (the sister was 4!).
She was from a big family and the sister was always referred to as Girl!
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