Post # 1
This may not seem like such a huge deal, but i think everything my boss is doing is bottling up inside me. I understand this is a total first world problem.
He is the most anal person i have ever met in my life. Some people have been in this office for 30 years and never thought about retiring early until he came a few months ago. The morale in this office has gone so low it is ridiculous.
This morning as soon as I walk in I see that we received our Staples order which had some extra calculators he asked me to order. He sent me a picture and said “can you get some LIKE this” so i did. He scrunches up his face and says “ooooh i dont like those ones”
ITS A SIMPLE CALCULATOR
“I wanted the exact one thats why i sent you a picture” Ok well staples has hundreds of calculators so this morning i spend 20 minutes looking for the exact same one because “this is the one he has been using for 5 years”. He spent $800 on a conference call system THAT WASNT EVEN COMPATIBLE with our phone lines and caused me hours of trail and error with IT. It literally sounds no better than putting the phone on speaker (which also already had conference capabilities) because thats what he had at his old office. You cant even answer the phone with it! Just dial out. After that $800 he saids we need to reduce our budget and cut down on coffee use but without changing the brand, because he likes it.
The first week he was here he asked for 2 white boards to be installed – OK drilled, mounted, done. He comes in the next day and says, i want them closer together. Ok, done. He comes in the next day and says he wants them moved 6 inches down. So take both off, fill the holes, drill new ones, mount them. REPAINT THE ENTIRE CONFERENCE ROOM since the wall was starting to look weird with new/old paint. Also there was an older chair in there he wanted taken out, they did not get to it fast enough and instead of just being an adult and asking me to call maintenance again to come pick it up, he calls me in and points out the chair. When i go to move it myself he grabs it and pushes it over to the main entrance (im at the front desk) and leaves it there and says “Im going to obnoxiously leave this here so he cant ignore it”. It was blocking the doorway. Very childish.
Are your bosses like this? Im really finding it difficult. Little things like this just keep adding up.And whats worse is that i feel like a show pony – like “look at me, look at me, did i please you oh great one?” Even things that shouldnt bother me do with him. I dont want to leave because this is a great company and I have already been here 6 years and have some good perks because of my time with them. I also feel this is a company i can grow with, but i need to learn how to not be so irritated by him. I am scared I am going to snap and i am not even a confrontational person. I try to remind myself that he could be a lot worse. He is arrogant, but not directly mean. He talks to me like im a little kid because he use to be a teacher. Like claps his hands and asks me rhetorical questions. He does thank me for things i help him with, I know there is much much worse out there. But How do you guys deal with it?
sorry for the rant. I feel better though lol.
This topic was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by L606.
Post # 2
My profession is a sea of nasty, arrogant people.
My advice is choose to not take it personally. Can you buy me a different calculator? Ok. Can you purchase a conference system and order less coffee? Ok. Can you move the boards closer together and down? Sure, I can do that. You can choose to take it personally and feel bad for not doing it to his satisfaction the first time or you can just redo things as he changes his mind and makes new requests and not take it personally. It’s a choice to not take it personally.
Post # 3
Oh wow this is a lot longer than i intended. And i really wasnt going to get into those other stories, but i guess i needed to vent lol.
Post # 4
jamb: Thank you!! That is a very good point.
Perhaps that is another reason I get so irritated, because i DO feel frustrated that I am doing it “wrong” and i guess backlash at him for changing his mind or not being clear etc. But it really isnt against me or the way i am doing things. He is just extremely particular and I am still adjusting and learning his style.
Post # 5
Sounds like your boss is really particular (may be driven by other things) I would NOT take it personally. However, now that you know he’s very particular, you can cut down on your own stress by anticipating it.
Before making an order, send it to him and make sure he approves it via email. Then if he changes his mind after, you can tell him the charges and the impact on costs, and show him what he originally agreed to.
Feel free to also ask him – in a very non aggressive way – why he likes things a certain way. It will help you hear how his mind thinks. Explain that you simply would like to reduce the number of changes and make sure he is happy (again you can’t change your boss), and you would like to know his preferences better.
At least he thanks you!
Post # 6
I totally feel you on this one. 100%. Like PPs have mentioned, over time I’ve learned to not take it personally and have adjusted much more to his style to eliminate issues in the future. It really sucked in the beginning, and that feeling of ME doing something wrong was hard to ignore. 3 years later, he likes to tell everyone that I can read his mind.
Just try to take yourself and your feelings out of the situation, because I guarantee you he would be this way with anyone.
Post # 7
leisha606: My sister in law taught me a good way of how she has dealt with our mother in law for years. You can let her ruin everything or you can allow her to only take a specified amount of energy/happiness/whatever away from you. It helps me deal with likely the most annoying and frustrating person in my life in a way that doesnt drive me batty. It can be hard at times but it helps me get through the rough days a little bit easier. I use it on a particularily nasty co-worker now as well.
Post # 8
My boss’s issues are nowhere close to yours, but she is very difficult to work for. It almost seems like the opposite problem. She can never make up her mind, and so I have to make a decision for her. When she likes the outcome, she takes all the credit. When she doesn’t like the outcome, I get blamed.
This is an extremely small office and I now understand how they cannot seem to keep a junior employee. I’m not planning on staying there long-term because it is hard for me to see how someone as fickle and disorganized as she is will help me grow in the company. I keep a log of my major projects and accomplishments and keep up the networking so if I need to make a quick exit, I can. It’s really unfortunate how one person in an authority position can have such a negative impact!
Post # 9
MrsA1222: I really like this. Thank you. I have tried this before, thinking why should he ruin my day? and il give myself a few mins to grumble and bitch and then let it go – doesnt always work but i think its something to continue and really try my hardest to not give away all my happiness.
TaraMay_: Thanks, ladies. It is nice to know I am not alone! I suppose it has only been a few months, so maybe in 3 years I will be like you and he wont be so frustrating because i will be a lot more in tune with him? I guess only time will tell.
FossilLady: It is surprising sometimes, you literally just ask yourself HOW DID YOU GET THIS POSITION? That is a shame about her taking credit for your projects, but i suppose a lot of bosses are like that. Good thing you are keeping track! Hope you find something soon!
Post # 10
leisha606: I have a very difficult boss as well.. over the years, I’ve gotten to know him very well & understand what he likes & what he doesn’t like… Eventually you’ll get use to him.. & now I do things that I know my boss would like instead of doing something that I might think it’s a good idea but knowing my boss may not like it.. I go and make moves just by what I think my boss may like a lot better. It worked out great for me & my boss & now I’m really close with him.
Post # 11
I am a prime example… of how NOT to manage a difficult boss/difficult relationship with your boss haha. I went into it to strongly, and ended up being put on a performance plan… whoops!
Post # 12
Lucky for me, he was transferred after 6 months and we got a new boss who we LOVE so far!
But i was just learning to deal with him, once you expect it and learn how his brain works (as crazy as it was) it became a little easier. But man the tension in this office is gone and it is so great!