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My husband and I did Pre-Cana at the Espousal Retreat Center in Waltham. I couldn't find any that were single days, but this one is one evening (Saturday) and a full day (Sunday with lunch and mass). They have an option for staying overnight, but since we had a dog and live in Arlington, we just went home.
It was a pretty large group, there were no direct quetions about who's living together, no uncomfortable one-on-one with the priest, and all of the personal stuff was done one-on-one with your FI.
It wasn't that useful for us because we had already discussed everything they covered. But it was relatively painless.
Here's the site:
Thanks! This is one my friend recommended and went to last year (she got married in August...wonder if she was in your group!)
My FI is convinced there must be some place that does it in a day or less. I have yet to find such an option.
Erindesmar - try to find a catholic church that is one of the 'orders.' sorry - i'm a bad catholic and don't know how to explain it better. by 'orders' i mean something like franciscan. they are much more liberal than a traditional catholic church - while still being a catholic church. my FI and i belong to a church in hartford that is run by franciscans. they live by their 'open minds open hearts open doors' policy. that means if you are divorced, or gay or whatever - you are welcome in the church. (it is st patrick st anthony church)
if you can't find what you are looking for in the boston area - i can not speak more highly of our one day pre cana at our church in hartford. it was fun and the couples that spoke to us told us they lived together before they were married, and they were super about everything. we were so pleasantly surprised. among other things, we were told that god can exist in our love of nature, or in a church. this church is the reason my FI and i started going to church again! the pre cana was great - they even ended the day with wine and hors d'oeuvres!
also - i am from belmont, ma. i'll ask my dad if he knows of anything in the area like st patrick st anthony in hartford. in the meantime, if you don't mind taking a 1.5 hour road trip for your pre cana, you can get more info on st patrick st anthony at <span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #008000; font-family: arial; font-size: 13px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px">www.spsact.org
st. ignatius loyola, which is at the end of the B line near BC, is WONDERFUL. I have yet to do pre cana, but go to this church and have had wonderful experiences there. The priests and parishoners are very enlightened and welcoming. can't reccomend it enough!!!
One of my friends went to the Paulist Center in Boston. She said it was a great experience and more like only half a day. She strongly recommended it!
I second LisaBee on St. Ignatius. I went to BC, and our churches are the best! haha. But in all honesty my brother and sister in law were married there a few years ago and I'm fairly certain it was a one day thing. All the priests are very "cool" because they deal with students on a regular basis. I'll try to find out more info for you!
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Hi!
I'm not sure if you're North or South of Boston. But, we went to St. Anne's in Peabody. It was a 2 day program. They were very open and welcoming. More than 50% of out Pre-Cana class was already living together, and they actually encouraged talking about it. No shunning whatsoever.
Thanks to everyone!! These are great suggestions!
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I second the Paulist Center on Park St. - we went there for a Saturday to do our Pre Cana. It was led by a married couple and a priest. There were a lot of couples there, many interfaith, and very well run. We enjoyed it and it actually was a nice afternoon of getting to talk to one another about things that don't always come up in day to day life.
We went to the Paulist Center-- and we chose it because it was only 1 day. We actually got a 1 hour lunch break, and got out early. Virtually painless. :)
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I definitely third (or fourth) the Paulist Center, especially if you're not super religious, or if (gasp) you're co-habitating, like we are. The part I liked best about it was that all of the sharing was done with your future spouse, not with a large group, so no awkwardness. And it's on Park Street, right across from the Common, which is a great place to wander around for a while. Good luck!
Awesome! I will check with then. I am a bad Catholic! I am trying to be reasonable with FI because of his work schedule, etc.
Thanks to everyone!
We went to the Franciscan Retreat Center in Andover, MA, because we were unable to attend the pre-cana at our local church in Cambridge. It is definitely not overly religious/judgy, and there is always a big group there, so you won't be forced to talk. Only downside is that it is two weekends for 4 hours as opposed to 8 hours on 1 day.
Also, my local church in Cambridge (St. Paul's - http://www.stpaulparish.org/homepage.html) DOES do a one-day pre-cana, but it's only twice a year - March & November I believe.
Here's a listing of all sorts of available pre-cana in Boston:
How did you register for the pre cana at the Paulist Center? I've been googling it all evening :(! Doesnt come up from the Archdiocese website either. Thanks in advance!
There is an email address on their website - I emailed them there and then they sent me the registry info! We are still trying to figure out which day would work best.
Not to be nagative, but all of you sound like the marriage prep, or pre cana is a chore. It makes me wonder why you are getting married in the Catholic Church to begin with?
My husband and I did Pre Cana and got so much out of it. Our marriage is so much better because of our faith.
Also, to djmaddiebluedog, I'm a Franciscan-a Secular Franciscan, (a married person who belongs to the Third Order of St Francis) While we Franciscans are welcoming and open minded, we do follow the teachings of the Catholic Church and homosexual "marriage" isn't one of them. I'm not sure where you got married, but you have the wrong idea about Franciscans.
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mary600 - we feel like we got a lot out of pre cana as well, but we didn't want to be sharing our personal feelings, hopes, dreams, fears, etc with a room full of strangers, which is why we were drawn to the Paulist Center.
As for djmaddiebluedog's explanation of Franciscans, it seems to me that that is more the mindset of the Paulist Center... that they welcome anyone who wants to come into their church, regardless of sexual preference, and that's the way I personally think it should be.
mary600 - we are getting married in the Catholic Church because it is my parents' preference. we are both spiritual, but not in any way religious. but we would have offended my parents if we did not get married in a church. maybe it sounds shallow, but it's the truth.
you read into my posts correctly....for us pre-cana does seem like a chore. my fiance is a surgical residents and gets 1 weekend off every two months. it has been crazy to try and find one day that he has off that pre-cana services are offered, and most are full weekends, which is pretty much out of the question for us. to have to spend the day talking about issues that we have discussed ad nauseum in our 8 year relationship seems silly to me. but i digress. who knows, maybe we will get something out of it.
Update on pre cana. Based on my above posts you can probably tell I was not thrilled with the prospect of attending!
We did pre cana at the Paulist Center in Boston last Saturday. The good news: very welcoming community. Run by a married couple and a progressive priest. It was low key, funny at times, and practical. It was also a one day session - key for us since FI can't get much time off work.
The eh news: if you are very open with your FI and/or have been together for many years, the issues discussed might be repetitive/not helpful. Because of the short length of it, also, you do not "dig deep" into any one issue.
Overall, I would recommend this for couples that are not uber religious and want to attend pre cana in a progressive church. All of the sharing is done with your FI, you are not called out on anything, interfaith couples are welcome, same sex couples are welcome.
Oh, and Saturday was probably one of the nicest days of the summer....they let us out early to enjoy the day : )
My fiancé and I did the Marriage Preparation Course at the Paulist Center in Boston in September 2009.
We liked the program very much and it only lasted one day. The exercises were done only within the couple and there were no awkward, group sharing moments. We had already talked about all of the issues that were discussed during the day, but some of the games they did with us were fun.
My fiancé is atheist and was doing the Pre Cana for my sake. There were a lot of Catholic/Non-Cathoic couples and everyone seemed very liberal and open minded, including the Paulist Father and the older married couple that helped out that day.
I agree with everything that @Erindesmar said and would highly recommend the Paulist Center. The priest also dismissed everyone early, although it was a horrible, rainy day.
Question, for those of you who did Pre-Cana at the Paulist Center....!
I just came across their website and noticed they have a variety of dates. My fiance and I are thinking we should finally sign up for a class.
Question is...do you have to have a church already "setup" for your wedding, with a date and all before you do pre-cana...or can we just sign up for pre-cana now and in the meantime, pick a church/date????
Thanks!
regarding my above post, I guess this goes for any catholic church in general
@mary600: I have to agree with you Mary600, In reading this I was also wondering why these couples are getting married in the Catholic Church to begin with?
Erindesmar has stated in reply "we are both spiritual, but not in any way religious." She is marrying in the Catholic Church to avoid offending her parents. She wants a pre-cana program that is "not overly religious (ie, we live together and don't want to be shunned)."
While it is admirable to honor your parents and try not to offend them by marrying outside the Church, are they not offended you are cohabitating?
I am sure there are reasons each Catholic person has as to why they choose to reject the teachings of their faith, the beliefs of their parents and community, and go their own way...but I believe it takes a mature person to really reflect on these decisions humbly and evaluate if they made the right decision...and correct it if they did not.
Clearly the evidence shows that cohabitation is a bad idea for those who wish to have a successful live-long marriage. Clearly cohabitation (aka fornication/pre-marital sex/"living in sin" as it used to be called before 50-75% of us started doing this in the past 20-30 years) is contrary to a healthy Christian spirituality (Bible/Tradition)
Couples who live together before marriage actually have a 50% greater chance of divorce than those who don't. Living together before marriage also indicates a great likelihood of an unhappy marriage later according to the Rudgers Marriage Project research.
I hope those that read this will at least be open-minded and give a chance to the true spirit of a real Marriage Preparation Program such as "Pre-Cana" and not seek out a watered down version of the program. I hope all of use will recognize that marriage is going to involve hard work and so will marriage discernment and preparation. In this age of divorce, engaged people need all the truth they can get, the real evidence about what prevents divorce and makes marriages strong (whether it comes from the Church or social sciences-they all confirm that cohabitation (and yes, the use of contraception and pornography) seroiously endangers your future happiness and invites the heartbreak of divorce) Also, divorce is far below 50% of the population for those who are strongly religious and marry someone of the same faith. So maybe becoming religious and not just commiting to being spiritual...and sharing this with your fiancee can increase your future wedded bliss Things like by going to Church and praying together makes for a better chance according to sociological research on marriage. Sorry this is lenghty and also if I offend someone, this is my opinion offered in the spirit of helpfulness.
Here is a link to this source info. God bless, http://interfaithshaadi.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&id=83:ten-things-of-marriage&Itemid=78&layout=default
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Can anyone recommend a good Catholic pre cana program in the Boston area? We would prefer a single day event that is not overly religious (ie, we live together and don't want to be shunned).
Thanks!