- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Hi Bees,
I was hoping you guys could share some of your city love with me. My FI is currently going through the medical residency app process and has found programs be likes equally in the each city. Now he has to decide which city/program he wants to rank first (it's more of a complicated process than that but Im simplifying it for the sake of this post). He is having a really hard time deciding and I'm failing to help cause I just want to move to NYC; I was born and raised there and I believe there is no other city like it IMO.
That being said the hospitals/programs he is looking at in Boston and SF are pretty much the top and most competitive hospitals in the country for the field he in going into. The hospital in NYC is no slouch either, making the decision even more stressful.
Can any bees chime in with advice on where they would live or what they like about each city? I think it will help to have some objective sets of eyes to illuminate the pros and cons of each city instead of me just yelling NYC!!!! at him all the time. Any words would help!
I love NYC. I've never been to San Fran, and I do not like Boston. My dislike for Boston is for various reasons...I don't like their subway system and find it incredibly confusing and annoying. Everything seems to close early and have weird rules compared to NYC. I'm a huge NY sports fan and would be totally shunned in Boston, and that would make me sad.
I think NYC has pretty much all pros, except for the real estate. It's expensive and small. But it's a good tradeoff, IMO, for all of the other benefits you get from the city.
I grew up right outside of NYC, went to grad school in Boston and lived there for many years after, and have friends in San Fran. I love all three!
That being said, I think for medicine, Boston is an amazing place. The Longwood medical area is chock full of hospitals and research. It'd be a great environment. I lived just a few minutes from there, in Coolidge Corner, which was a great little shopping area just a few T stops from downtown.
NYC is the greatest city in the world, but Boston is a close second for me. The history, the shopping, the sports..and the proximity to outdoor activities, is great.
I have lived in and love all 3 cities. If you threw in Chicago and DC, I would say they are the only places I would move to. I don't think you can go wrong. Boston would have the lowest cost of living, but it's still pretty high. I think NYC probably has the best weather of the 3 - if you like the seasons. SF is pretty much sweater weather (50-60) all year round. Boston has really, really cold winters. What do you do for a living? Does it matter where you live? SF is close to Napa - LOVE! But has so many hills, and I find it hard to get around. I feel like you need a car in CA - especially if you live outside the city. In Boston, a car is a nice to have but not a necessity by any means. In NYC, a car is a burden. I would say Boston is the least diverse city. All three cities have theatre, sports, good restuarants, nightlife. I don't know if I am helping. I really like them all
@hotchildinthecity: Honestly I kinda hate Boston also, ha. From the outside looking in, it just doesn't seem that diverse to me and Im not a big fan of the classic new england towns.
@mink: See this is the problem with Boston especially. We made a pact that if either of us had a chance to go to a Harvard hospital or business school, we would go no questions asked. But now that that decision is becoming real, we both realized how much we dislike Boston! lol. So it's really a case of not going to the 'best of the best" just cause we like NYC more. And we just like San Fran cause it's so much warmer!
@magilnyc: Thank you! I work in health care management consulting so I can pretty much get transferred to any of the cities as my company has an office in each. Im glad you brought up he diversity issue in Boston, neither of us are a fan of this.
@Aubergold: Yeah, the lack of diversity is pretty obvious in Boston. I especially find this true when you go out at night. Most bars/clubs are all one race or another. You do find that in other cities as well, but I think it is pretty pronounced in Boston.
I'm a NYC girl through and through. I love visiting Boston, but honestly can't see myself living there. Like @hotchildinthecity: said I can't stand their metro system and I get lost every freakin' time I'm there. I'm sure people from Boston get lost when they come here, but come on people our streets and avenues are numbered! Haha.
It is crazy expensive to live here though so that's always something to consider. I know all cities are expensive, but NYC always seems to be at the top of the list.
Can't comment on SF, as I've never been there... But I've heard wonderful things about it and would probably really love the warm weather! I hate the cold and snow with a passion.
PS. Good luck to your FI. My best friend (and MOH) just went through the ranking process last year and it was so stressful for her!
There's a secret to getting around the Back Bay (the center of Boston). No one mentions it to visitors. Some natives don't every realize it. The Back Bay's streets are in alpha order (Arlington, Berkeley, Clarenton, Dartmouth). Once you figure that out, the Back Bay doesn't seem as confusing.
Boston IS a city (while places like Hingham or Marbledhead are more in line with the idea of the quiticential New England town). It's neighborhoods are as pronounced as the boroughs. It's extremely accessible and the T, to me, was fantastic (and I lived on the Green line, which was mostly above ground). People who live in the city tend to be highly educated (Ph.Ds and MDs are everywhere). The outter neighborhoods tend to be a little more mixed, education wise.
I thought Harvard might be involved. Go. I worked at Brigham & Women's when I first got there and the people were awesome. Check out Brookline if you visit (specifically Coolidge Corner). I loved it there.
I lived in both San Francisco and NYC. (I don't like Boston for similar reasons others have stated but I haven't spent all that much time there, in fairness). I would probably choose SF over NYC if I was making that choice now but these would be my pros and cons:
SF has nicest weather, air quality is pretty good for a big city since it's right on the water, very close to fabulous hiking, wine country, etc. (whereas I am not into the Hamptons, etc. where you might go for short trips in NYC).
SF wins on physical look of the city itself, the hills. I think it's a beautiful city.
SF is more "livable" than NYC in terms of crowding, pace, etc. Although it is probably almost equally expensive, you get more space for your money.
SF food not quite as varied/amazing as NYC but is great and if you are a vegetarian there are way more options.
SF has a serious homeless problem in the city (different/worse than other big cities) and panhandlers can be really aggressive, depending on your neighborhood, you might wake up to human poo on your doorstep.
SF PARKING BLOWS, and it's not as easy in NYC to live there without a car- I probably would not choose to live in SF without a car where I did in NYC. On the other hand, if you want a car in either place, it's almost prohibitively expensive to keep one in NYC.
In SF There is very weird, inter-neighborhood rivalry/snottiness -- like if you live in the "rich" part of SF, people in the hipster neighborhoods will totally roll their eyes at you and be rude. It's kind of a reverse snobbishness vibe. Similarly, if you are not super-liberal, you will probably not feel comfortable discussing your politics in SF. I found NYC a bit more live and let live and accepting of diverse viewpoints (for reference, I am pretty liberal but democrat as opposed to like, green party liberal and this still bugged me about SF).
I'd move to Boston because I live in MA and my family is here... but the people there have a reputation for being douche bags haha
The tone there tends to be "either you're 100% obsessed with Boston and know every single thing about it, love the T, and like buying $15 drinks because the only thing to do for fun is go to bars, or you suck and I look down on you". All of my friends who have moved there changed to that attitude, so I definitely wouldn't move there. Sorry all you Boston lovers! I do love the city and visiting is awesome, you can't beat the sports... but I suggest California where it's warm! I dunno about SF in particular but any of my friends/family who have moved to Cali love it, and there's a lot to do, especially outdoor activities. Good luck in your decision making!
I voted Boston! I am a little bias but I have been to NYC. Personally I have a love affair with Boston and Boston sports so I hate NYC. I like visiting the tourist spots in NYC but I would hate living there, for crowds and my hate of all NY sports. Mostly the crowds and the fact that I am not a big city person. I could deal with being a sports outcast, I really don't cre who people support unless they are in my face about it...that's just childish and annoying.
Boston also has some of the best hospitals in the country.
I have never been to San Fran though.
Weather should be definitely be a factor. I personally love a good snow storm. I miss having things shut down for a little bit and walking around in the streets. :)
Interesting that the San Fran person brought up the neighborhood thing. A few of my friends act as though they need to play waaaay in advance to go out in a neighborhood across town. They almost needed to psych themselves up for the excursion. In NYC or Boston, you'd hop on the subway/T or get a cab and just go. :)
I live outside Boston right now, and have lived there in the past. I've also spent a TON of time in NYC. I think it depends on what you're looking for in a location. I spent so much time in NYC while I was growing up and in my early 20s, but when I moved to Boston I just loved it. I find Boston to be so much cleaner and greener than NY. There's great shopping, it's less expensive (though still not cheap) than the other 2, and has tons of history and beautiful buildings.
I'm also not sure where other people have been to say it's not diverse. In my company I am frequently the only white person or female or native english speaker (or all of the above) at meetings. I've also been to plenty of the clubs and never noticed a diversity issue. Sure, if you go to Southie it'll be most white Irish people and Roxbury will be mostly black, but other neighborhoods aren't the same.
My advice would be #1 - go to the best school, even if it's not in a city you love it's only for a few years. And secondary to that, make sure you can afford to live wherever he ends up.
@TinyTina: I am also a NYC girl through and through I live in DC now and am itching to go back! and the Match process is nuts! We are lucky we've been very fortunate in the process.
@mink: Ugh, AND it's Brigham, which makes it even worse lol.
@laurelina: See im hearing great stuff about SF as well. It would a great change of scenery for us Im sure.
I'm a NYC'er through and through, but I voted for San Fran. I love this city, but I definitely feel stuck here. It's great and exciting in your 20's, but once you want to settle down and start a family, things start to get tough. The commutes from more affordable (nice) suburbs are horrible, 1.5 hours minimum each way. I know San Fran is also very expensive, but I have a brother who lives there with his wife and daughter and it is MUCH more affordable than NYC and there are actually decent more affordable areas to live close to the city. Plus, the weather is just nicer and being 3 hours behind east coast time means you get to watch sporting events and your favorite shows at a reasonable time.
@Moja: The tone there tends to be "either you're 100% obsessed with Boston and know every single thing about it, love the T, and like buying $15 drinks because the only thing to do for fun is go to bars, or you suck and I look down on you".
I didn't want to be the one to say it, but this is TOTALLY the tone I've gotten when I come to Boston. Also, bouncers holding onto my ID and teasing about refusing to let me into a bar/lounge because my driver's license says NY, NY. NYC has a sports rivalry with Boston, sure, but I never could imagine being so rude to someone from Boston as people I have encountered there.
I would pick SF hands down! I lived there for a couple of months and completely fell in love. The weather is incredible, the public transportation in the city is great and there are lots and lots of things to do. It's NYC laidback cousin, you get alot of what is great in NYC without the gazillion people, the noise or the NYC attitude. My Sis lives in NYC so I have visited for months at a time and I would choose SF everyday of the week. It all depends on your personal preference. My sister loves the hectic tense lifestyle in NYC while I appreciate the more relaxed attitude in SF.
Hmmmm, despite the responses it seems Boston is winning....
Maybe FI and I need to give it a chance.....
@Aubergold: Try to make a visit. The Longwood Medical Area (where BWH, Dana-Farber, and Beth Israel are all located) is a really dynamic place. You don't want to live there, but you might like Jamaica Plain or Brookline. Jamaica Plain was still "up and coming" when I was there, but it had some great restaurants.
I work in higher ed and I've found that those at the Boston area colleges and universities are from all over the world. It's a sub-community that is highly educated, diverse, and interesting.
I met my native friends through the music scene and grew to love that fervently passionate attitude that Bostonians have. They're why I find that Southie accent charming. :)
@moderndaisy: I know that feeling. My family lives in the city and they will NOT leave EVER. No matter how broke they are, the thought of moving of someplace less expensive is not even welcome. When I left, everyone was in an uproar. Im having my wedding in Baltimore and they all complained it was too far from NYC!
@mink :) Thank you, this is great advice!
I would make my choice strictly off what city is going to give him a leg up on his career. Boston has amazing hospitals and schools that could do amazing things for your future…and is only a 4 hour ride to NYC :)
I have lived in Boston my whole life and have been to NYC a bunch of times and can honestly say that both cities have the “my shit don’t stink” attitude. Everything that happens to a New Yorker in Boston also happens to a Bostonian in New York.
Well I grew up outside of NYC and now my family lives outside of Boston so I've spent a fair amount of time in both places. I've never been to San Fran so I can't comment there. But I would say definitely Boston. Admittedly I am not a HUGE city person, and it sounds like you appreciate things about NYC that I wouldn't. However I've always found Boston to be much more accessible - I've never had trouble with the T, and its smaller size (though still a good sized city!) and much more varied architecture make it a lot of fun to explore. And weather-wise, I would actually say that Boston is better than NYC. Depends on how you like the seasons but Boston actually gets snow where NYC gets more rain. Walking around Boston at night in the winter can be really really pretty, and the snow, for me, helps make the cold worth it! Summers are beautiful too.
Good luck with your decision! At the very least it can be a finite time period - might be a good chance to get an awesome boost to your FI's career and check out what it's like in a different city. You can always go back to NYC in the end!
I don't think you will go wrong with any of the three. There will be great things about each city and downsides too.
Personally I love San Francisco (that is where I live and grew up). SF is beautiful, has great weather (it's in the 60's today!), and the neighborhoods are fun and diverse (although the neighborhood snobbiness thing other bees have mention can be true (cough, cough...Marina/Mission, we are talking about you)). Unlike what a few other bees think, I have found that you can get around SF without a car, Muni can be a pain, but once you figure it out it is not so bad. I lived in the city for many years with out a car (had to buy one to commute to a new job in the South Bay). If you have a car, different neighborhoods can be good or bad for parking, it is just knowing when to leave the car at home and take Muni or a cab. Overall SF is a great place to live, amazing restaurants, fun bars, lots of activities, beautiful weather and scenery.
Not sure where you are looking (UCSF vs. Stanford) but SF and Palo Alto are VERY different. Palo Alto is definitely the suburbs and very quiet. You would definitely need a car in Palo Alto and it is about 40min from the city.
The Bay Area is great in general if you like to do lots of things...the beach, mountains/snow, lakes, hiking, etc. are all within a short driving distance.
In the end like Future MrsB said, go to the best school. All three cities are great, it should really come down to which school has the best program and alumni connections. I would also recommend taking a visit to each city/school to see where you both feel the most comfortable.
@Aubergold: Based on what you have said, I think you should rank Boston/Harvard 3rd. While reading your responses, you don't like Boston. And even though it's Harvard, you said the hosps in SF (I assume UCSF) and NYC (I can't assume which one) are highly prestigious and can offer a great advance in his career. Yes, Harvard seems like it's the end all to all things Medical (and it's awesome), but if the rest of your living experience is frustrating, what's the point? Your career is vitally important, but at the end of the day your life should be about your relationships; and if you're unhappy in a city for any number of reasons, I think it can outweigh the benefits of your career. Residency is a long road and you will bear a whole lot of it on your own, so I think you guys should pick a place that you can see yourselves being. I think that's NYC for you. (I would personally choose SF over NYC any day of the week.) Your family is there, I assume you have some friends there, you like the city, etc. Another tactic would be that if on March 17 (or whatever the match date is this year), he opens the envelope and it says "Boston", will your heart sink or be elated? Same for NYC and SF. Try to imagine the emotional/physical response for each of those options.
On the other side of the coin: residency is 3-7 years and after that you can choose a fellowship in your dream city. So maybe you can handle 3-7 years in Boston. And maybe you can't. But not knowing you and only reading your posts here, you do not want to go to Boston and since NYC and SF are offering great choices, rank those 1 and 2 and rank Boston 3 and see where the cards fall. Good luck!
I grew up in New York, then moved to Boston, then to Chicago, and now I'm back in Boston... and I love it! It is small, personal, easy to get out to the country/mountains or down to the beach. Yea, there is traffic and the T closes early (but for those of us who go to bed at 9 this isn't such a problem), but otherwise it is a beautiful city in an amazing location. I moved to Chicago so that my DH could go to graduate school and while we both loved the city, it was an easy choice to pick Boston as our next home.
@Aubergold: I went through this two years ago as a medical spouse - the match process is totally wonkers! I voted for NYC because this is where I'm from, and after three years in Upstate NY, I needed to come home. Your happiness will ultimately be both of your happiness because he will be moving to the inside of a hospital somewhere, and you will be moving to the actual place. I was say go visit and see if you could really see yourself in SF or Boston, and measure that with how the Doc likes the programs.
@Aubergold: I just noticed that you said that you are in healthcase consulting - that is what my DH did before and now after B-school. He loves it and has found Boston to be a great place for the industry. There is more and more biotechs/pharma popping up around here. If you choose Boston and want any recommendations of great consulting companies in Boston shoot me a message! Good luck!
@Aubergold: I lived in the Bay and I absolutely loved it! You can go into the city and live the newlywed lives that's fast paced, but there are also suburbs that are really family-friendly when you're ready to settle down. After I moved back to LA, we got engaged and my FI moved out to NYC for a job he can't refuse. We're hoping that I follow him to NYC after we get married.
@Aubergold: I just LOL that your family complained that Baltimore was too far to travel for the wedding. We had our wedding in Manhattan and my DH family complained that was too far from Brooklyn. His grandmother almost didn't come because coming into "the city" was going to be too much for her.
wow you bees are amazing and uber-detectives haha!!! It's BWH, UCSF (thank goodness not Palo Alto) and Columbia. it's funny b/c SF and Co. have the exact underserved patient population he wants to work with (that BWH just doesn't have as much of) so that puts him in an extra quandry.
@longdistanceco_ca: thanks for that, I really took that to heart. We dont like Boston at all, but I also know that we haven't given it much of a chance. Also we went to undergrad in New England and are just soooooo over the New England experience (and WEATHER!! lol)
@hermitcrab: sigh....I love New York. Im secretly hoping he can rank BWH No.1 and end up at Co. anyway! Im applying to B-school next fall and LOOOOOOOVE Stern too. Banking on getting into HBS (no matter what GMAT and exp I have) just cause we are in Boston sends me into a tizzy.
@NYC.BOS.CHI: Thank you! that is very sweet!
@Aubergold: Well I've never to SF, but I lived in NYC before and just moved to Boston in May, and was very skeptical of the city. I never even came to visit, so I had no idea what to expect. I spent all of my life a NYC girl, but Boston has won me over. I wouldn't like here forever and I am not obsessed with the city, but it is beautiful, and I appreciate the unqiueness of the neighbors. As for what previous posters said about lack of diversity, I didn't experience that at all, but granted I don't know the whole city. My workplace and neighborhood is very diverse, and in a MeetUp group I belong to is so diverse we joke it's like a United Nations summit.
@Aubergold: I just moved to NYC from SF (well, Berkeley to be exact) and while I love the Bay Area, I would NOT go there for warm weather. Summers in SF tend to be VERY cold. Like, low 60's. Summer occurs quite late in the year (September tends to be the most commonly "warm" month, and even then, it's no guarantee). There are generally some warm days/weeks scattered throughout the year, but I found myself really, really missing having a reliably warm month. I could never wear sandals for fear that the fog would roll in and I would end up with frozen feet. BART is great, but don't expect anything nearly as comprehensive as the NY subway system. It's just not comparable. The Muni is pretty good (the SF bus/transit system), but it is nice to have a car--especially if your husband is going to be practicing medicine--as BART stops running at midnight and late-night public transit can be difficult. There are some awesome things about San Francisco, but I am falling in love with NYC and voted for you to move here. I was raised on the West Coast and never thought I would be a NYC girl, but here I am.
Bay area bee here (Sonoma County) and I looooove it. I wouldn't be happier living anywhere else (and I've been to Boston and NYC several times). Our weather is gorgeous, the landscape is amazing and I love the people.
Just because your FI will be working in SF doesn't mean you have to live within the city. There are gorgeous living areas around the city that are more affordable with better weather and parking. I would highly recommend looking around the Bay Area for options if you are leaning towards California.
I know I don't need to do much convincing to get you to say NYC, but I still want to chime in. I completely understand what you are saying about diversity in Boston - when my fiance and I went for a relaxing vacation last year, we were both struck by how segregated things seemed. We are an interracial couple, and got a lot more stares than usual. My fiance is a native NYer, so he had reservations, but I wen there with an open mind and left not thinking much of it (with the exception of our hotel [XV Beacon is AMAZING!])
And ever since I read an article about how aggressive many SF homeless can be, I have no desire to live there. I def want to do everything to maximize my chances of making it through life without having any human poo flung at me.
@magilnyc: My mother was mad that a friend's daughter was getting married "all the way out" at the Brooklyn Botanical Garden.
This from a woman who grew up in the Bronx!
I'd choose SF. NYC is just too many people all in one place, and they all seem to want to share their opinions with you. Boston is beautiful when it isn't freezing, but I find the people can be somewhat offputting (no offense to you Boston bees, I'm sure you're great, I just have had some negative experiences).
I don't know much about SF people, but it seems like it's not too crowded and the weather's great all the time.
Since I am a huge football person I would make my deciding factor which team I would want shoved down my throat more:
49ers?
NE Patriots?
Jets/Giants?
Hmm... I am going to go with Patriots!! haha
BTW I am a Saints fan :)
@sarahbabs: As someone who lives in the area and frequents SF very often (weekly) I can say that in living up here for 10 years I have NEVER had poo flung at me. I also have never had any type of agressive encounter with homeless.
They are there (much like NYC and any other large city) and you see them. They may ask for money but otherwise if you don't engage they don't either.
Would you mind sharing the article, I'm curious to read it.
:)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| fishbone | 22 |
| ndreighton | 18 |
| Samantha7 | 16 |
| Brielle | 16 |
| ladyartichoke | 15 |
 rdownie1 |
15 |
| MsPanda | 14 |
| aduarte3201 | 14 |
| mypinkshoes | 13 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ShellVee | 8 |
| MsPanda | 7 |
| ellisrobertson | 5 |
| allyfally | 3 |
| Potatoes | 2 |
| UpstateCait | 2 |
| SouthernGirl | 2 |
| HeyKaraoke | 2 |
| Paigey | 2 |
| earrings | 1 |
