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I did a quick search on google, and found out that it's the name of a cream for genital warts. I'm not sure how many people would know that though...
HAHAHHAHAHAHA. blackbird, you just made my morning. =)
i wouldn't want a name like that, but it's up to you!! but can you imagine what would happen if it became the next vioxx and was all over the news?? oh and the tormenting your kid would have to deal with if anyone found out what it meant in middle school...
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Hey, lets not knock genital diseases. I love my first name but it is also the name for the yeast that causes yeast infections. Another definition of my name is pure, flowing, white.....
Freshname, I don't think many people will know that it is a name for a cream. Then again, every once in a while people find that definition for my name (high school sex ed), but people also seem to forget about it pretty quickly. Years ago my fiance figured it out. He thought it was hilarious. I brought this up to him a little while ago and he didn't remember that at all.
I still love my name (Candida)
Candi
Is Aldera a combining of both of your names, or is it just something you chose? I'm wondering if there is any significance to the name.
Freshname, I'd like to hear more about how/why you decided to do this and exactly what criterion you are using for selecting a last name. I'd also like to hear your FI and familys' thoughts on the name change. I've heard of people doing this, but I've never been able to hear the "whys" behind it all.
Regarding Aldera, you mention that the Whitepages only shows 7 people/families with that surname... is that supposed to be a negative or a positive for adopting that name? If I had a relatively rare last name (for instance, all of these Aldera's may be related) - if I met someone else with that last name, I'd assume we were somehow related. I guess my thinking is that a surname is not a tattoo. Yes, both are relatively permanent, and you may choose them because they look/sound cool, beautiful... but a surname has meaning. It connects us with our past - and thus if I were one of 7 Aldera's (who all decended from great grandpa Aldera, who came through Ellis Island in 18## and they changed the O to an E and....) well I'd consider my surname as something special and I'd be kinda annoyed if someone else (who isn't family) suddenly had the name because they thought it "sounded nice."
Do you see what I'm saying... even though your familys' surnames aren't important to the two of you - they may be really important to the family you are poaching the name from.
So maybe if you want a rare/unique name - pick a last name that no one has, and then that last name will be "born" with your new family. (Maybe even a different spelling of Aldera). Or, if it is all about how the name "sounds," choose a name that doesn't "belong" to only one family. Or choose a last name based on meaning - if you look through both your and your FI's familys' names and maiden names, you'll probably find a last name you share.
Finally, are you and your FI intending to have children. Will they take this new last name? When they are 18, are you going to encourage them to go find a new last name - thus will Aldera die with you and your FI?
Regarding what enmoore66 said - I agree - you raise some really good questions!
Freshname - please give us more info if you can.
i think the idea of your choosing a new name is wonderful, but i feel like it should have meaning, not be chosen just b/c you liked the sound of a word.
my FSIL and her husband combined their last names when they got married. not with a hyphen; they created a new name using their last names which is an idea i love.
is there any way you could combine your present last names? or use letters from your names? again, i just feel like it should have a special meaning.
Since you didn't ask my option of the name change, I will just address the name itself. I admit that I recognized it as the genital wart cream right away. Then again, I used to work in the medical field.
Whatever name you choose has meaning because you chose it together. We wanted to do this but we haven't been able to agree on a new name and with the wedding 2 months away I don't think we'll have time. Our new plan is change our names when we have a baby.
I'll admit I also recognized the name, but I'm in the medical profession as well. It is spelled differently - Aldara. If you like those letters you could always go with Aderal, which sounds like Adderall. ADHD is a little more socially acceptable than genital warts. I think if you like the name you should go with it. You can find something wrong with any name.
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We're also choosing a new last name (paperwork is already in process). For us, we got jammed in to a tight corner and a new name seemed to be the best way out. Here's our long story =P
-FH was born with a hyphenated last name (mother+father's last names). He's encountered a lot of problems with paperwork, etc. with it, and wishes it was shorter.
-FH's parents have since divorced (not amicably).
-FH and I want to share a last name (along with any possible kids).
-I don't want to take two last names, when neither of them are mine. I don't particularly want to keep mine, since I don't have a great relationship with my dad.
So it would seem the easiest option would be to just choose one of FH's last names and keep that, which would be fine with me, but his parents were both very adamant that FH did not choose the other person's name over their own. Very, very adamant. And angry. Not good.
So then we tried looking at past last names in the family tree. Same problem. Can't choose a name from the other person's side of the family either.
So new name it is. Both of his parents would rather we took a new last name than the name of the other person. My parents sortof thought that I was going to change my name anyway, so they don't seem to care, though they think it's weird. I like this better anyway, since I never thought the whole woman-changes-her-name-but-guy-doesn't thing was very fair.
We chose our name by using those baby name sites where you can search by meaning. So it has an important meaning to us, and some interesting classical relationships. And, google doesn't show it to be anything else obvious either =)
As for our kids, they can change their name to whatever they want, since we've sworn to not give our kids the heartache that FH's parents have given him.
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And I think Aldera's a wonderful name =)
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Peihan17, I LOVE hearing your story! Makes me wish DH and I had done the same thing!!
Thanks, bonniebelle =)
FreshName (and anyone else considering this option), I just wanted to also add that there are hard parts to choosing a whole new name. As others mentioned, there might be resistance from your own families. Other people will either be confused, or outrightly critical, demanding an explanation that you may not feel like telling strangers. In our case, it wasn't really just a whim, so it's annoying when people treat as a bizarre form of rebellion or childishness.
Of course, the legalities are also more complicated. Most states will not allow you to change your name to something completely different just via marriage. We opted to do a court order for FH's name change, so that I can change my name via marriage. Annoying, but doable. Also expensive ($210 in NY).
On the other hand, we got a cool new name to start our new life with. Bonniebelle, I think you're one of the few who have thought it a good idea =)
Here's a recent thread on indiebride on the subject too: http://kvetch.indiebride.com/index.php?t=msg&th=34980&start=0&rid=12131&S=aed14f7f6615c80a164b12f22312303e
Oh, and combinations of our names (any of the three), all sounded terrible... and we tried really hard =P
thanks for all the responses.
here's more information. i hope this helps.
1. Aldera is a word i got from Caldera which means "large volcanic crater". i like names that start with "A" so i dropped the "C". I saw it when i was reading a book and loved the way it sounded so i took note of it.
2. we are picking a last name that is short, easy to prounounce and spell and sounds good with an english and spanish first name.
3. one of his many reasons "i'm tired of my common name and want to share a name with you". his is the 6th most popular in the US
4. i want one so we can share a name as well but i dont want his and he doesnt want mine because they dont go with our first names and i wouldnt want him to take mine and he doesnt want me to take his for feminist reasons.
5. our families are fine with it, but do think it's weird. they still love us, and we made it clear that it has nothing to do with wanting to cut ties with them. it's not meant to disrespect them in any way. it was inportant that they knew this.
6. it not being a common name is a big plus for us. i mean his name is so common that once when he was pulled over for having a brake light out the police officer was about to arrest him because another person with his name had a warrant for his arrest. he hates that.
7.whatever name we choose will be special once it's ours. we tried combining ours but it sounded awful so we are starting fresh.
8. i have a long hyphenated name and i hate it. its always getting paperwork messed up and it very frustrating. ill be very happy when i can have a simple name. kinda similar to peihans points except for the bad blood between parents and all.
enmoore66- we wouldnt possibly share any common name from our ancesters since they are from different continents. and i dont feel that way about surnames since we both have pretty common names and i definitely feel no connected with all those people. we don't plan on having children, but if we did we would want them to keep our name.
To echo what peihan17 said... I know that in New York State, you cannot just choose a new last name when you are getting married - but you can combine your last names in some way (ie, half of yours plus a few letters of his = new name, or some combination thereof). Then again, I guess you could both just legally change your names to something entirely different after you got married, but it would be an entirely different (and separate) process.
While I understand that neither of you are attached to or want to use any of your existing names, I find it hard to understand just completely erasing any sense of connection you have to your families. I feel like the whole concept of a last name (or a family name, as people in many other countries call it) is that you DON'T get to choose it - that your family is always a part of you. Now, unless your family did something downright awful to you, I can't really agree with completely scrapping either of you current family names. Sorry.
we're in california and he would change his name before the wedding and then i would take his. it will be free for me at least this way.
it will cost us about $300 to have him do it first.
I think it's great. I have several friends who have changed their names legally (not because of marriage) for various reasons, including one who dropped her last name altogether. In no case did they do this to "erase any sense of connection" to their families. FI and I have discussed the idea of both taking another surname (as he didn't figure I would want to change mine - although I actually don't mind). Although under brooklynbaby's logic, I guess my family is no longer a part of me (or I am no longer part of my family?) if I do change my name upon getting married - thanks heavens they don't see it that way.
I think FreshName is on the cutting edge of post-wedding name changes. In a generation or two, I think lots more couples will be picking a new name together! So kudos on being one of the first :-).
Along those lines, you may be interested in reading (or editing!) some of the related wiki articles on the subject:
Hey FreshName, Just wanted to let you know that when I first read your potential new last name & was trying to think of any associations, all I kept thinking was "Well, it sounds a lot like caldera," and I'd never heard of the medicinal cream stuff... Glad to hear the geological term was part of the inspiration!
I didn't get a chance to read all of these - but simply put based on blackbirds post, if it has any affiliation with genetal wart cream....I'd nix it.
Mr & Mrs Genetal Wart Cream....even if no one else knew about it - I would PLUS, with how often they have these perscription drug comercials on these days......can you imagine....
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Freshname, Thanks for taking the time to answer all of my questions, especially as it is none of my business. It sounds like you and your FI have spent a lot of time thinking about this, and Aldera is a nice last name. Have a wonderful wedding and good luck with the name change.
My first thought was of an Alder tree. Then of Caldera but not the volcanic crater, of the eponymous beer.
Actually my first thought was of Alderon, and I'm not even really a Star Wars geek, so I had to ask my FI what SciFi series it was from - I thought maybe it was some planet Captain Kirk had visited...
This is a really interesting idea. When you have kids, it might be good to have both your family trees well documented though, since it would be tougher for them to trace their geneological roots - well, maybe not for them but possibly for your great-great-grandchildren. If that's important to you, that is. (How weird is it to think about your g-g-grandchildren?! I've never thought of that before!)
Best of luck with whatever you decide. As long as it makes the two of you happy, I say go for it!
There's a whole discussion going on at offbeat bride on this topic now too... it's everywhere all of a sudden! It started as a post on guys changing their last names to the girl's, but people are posting about new last names too.
http://offbeatbride.com/2008/04/groom-changing-last-name#more-745
thanks everyone! we have not chosen this 100% but we will take what was said into consideration especially the cream association (yuck. i hope it's not that popular), but i think you can associate one word to another no matter what we pick or are given as newborns.
maybe we'll choose Caldera or Aldera still, maybe Adler. it's not easy though, but we still have a few months.
ill try and post an update and let everyone know how the process went and all that.
thanks again.
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we are both changing our last names to a new one so we can share the same surname. we don't want to take one anothers last names.
and we love our family's very much so it has nothing do to with that.
so here's the question: I love the name Aldera. It's not very common though i was wondering what you guys think of it.
The white pages only shows 7 people with the name.
http://www.whitepages.com/search/Replay?search_id=63151322984229644346&form_mode=opt_b&show_truncated=1&lower=4&view=
so any weird associations I should know about?
thank you so much.