Post # 1
I was wondering what you did in place of a daddy/daughter dance if your father was deceased.
I lost my dad 7 years ago and FI lost his just a few months ago. We decided not to do any type of dance at all (except for our first dance) because we feel like no one could replace our dads and it is too much for us to watch other people’s parent dances at other weddings.
We would still like to do our first dance but was wondering if we should just leave it at that or do something else during the reception to honor our dads. I’m already planning on lighting a candle/candles for them but don’t want to make the reception too much like a funeral, however I don’t want to not acknowledge them at all.
Any bees have/had a smiliar situation? What did you do? Thanks.
Post # 3
We had a memorial table with pictures of ours loved ones and candles. That’s it though, we didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. Just a nice little spot for them to be with us.
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
Would it be too weird to dance with your mom? Is your fiance dancing with his mom?
We had a memorial table at our reception with photos of parents and grandparents who have passed, and a framed list of names and a sweet poem. There was also my mom’s urn and a nice vase of flowers. We didn’t perform any actions for a memorial, because my loss was too recent and I don’t think I could have handled it.
Post # 5
Do you still have your grandfather? That could be a way to honor him to have a dance with him.
Post # 6
My dad passed away 5 years ago and my grandpa passed away last summer. I was uncomfortable having ANY parent dances, so we scrapped them altogether. No big deal. I have memorial charms on my bouquet.
Post # 7
Thank you everyone for your replies! I will take them into consideration. Wedding is not until next year.
@vorpalette: I kind of feel the same way too. I still have both my grandpas but they are elderly and they are rather sensitive about my father’s death. I was also planning on having some charms on the boquet, kind of like a locket with his picture in it. My mom will lead me down the asile.
Post # 8
I recently went to my cousin’s wedding a few weeks ago and both of his parents passed away several years ago. He had his dance with his oldest sister and I thought that was very sweet. She was also the one who walked him down the aisle.
Post # 9
I lost my dad when I was 19. I fought with him a lot the last few years and didnt talk to him at all the last year before he passed so not the best relationship, but I still felt like he should be acknowledged. I bought a white corsage and found a little picture of him and put it in a little charm and attached it to the corsage. On the wedding day Ill have that sitting on the gift table probably by some pictures or by the guest book or something. And instead of a father/daughter dance Im planning on doing a mother/daugther dance so you might consider doing that
Post # 10
@Owl_Doctor: My dad passed away when I was 11, and I don’t have any grandparents left either. I plan on scrapping all parent dances. FI and I will have to talk to FMIL to see if she’s okay without a mother-son dance, because I know that even that will make me upset. It’s a pretty sucky thing to deal with, and the only downer of what will otherwise be an amazing day.
Who are you having walk you down the aisle? I plan on asking one of my uncles.
Post # 11
Could you pick a song that your dad(s) loved and dance to them with your moms?
I also love the memory charms on the bouquets.
Post # 12
@Owl_Doctor: Hi! My father passed away when I was a teenager (I was a total daddy’s girl too). My mom walked me down the aisle AND we had a mother daughter dance…it was amazing…not weird at all, it was actully quite emotional. We danced to Carrie Underwood’s “Mama’s Song”
The reverend that married us said a little something special during the ceremony in regards to my father, which made it really special and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.
Post # 13
@pineapplez17: My dad passed away when I was 15. I was the first person to find out too as he died in his sleep and I found him when I got up for school. As of right now FI and I feel the same way, scrapping all parent dances. Wedding is not for a while though so maybe we might change our minds but maybe we will talk to my FMIL and my mom to see how they feel about a dance or whether it will make them feel too sad.
I have amazing uncles as well but I’m planning on having my mom walk me down the asile. I know she wants to and it would make her feel better on the day. I know she’ll be sad that my dad is not there to do it but my mom has done a great job through the tough times so I want her to give me away.
@alaskin17: I was a daddy’s girl too! The officant I plan on using is FI’s great uncle so I’m sure he’d be able to come up with something nice to say about both our dads.
@pollychai: That is very sweet that they danced together.
@Stace126: Hmm good idea I’ll have to look into this one.
Post # 14
My father passed away six years ago, and my maternal grandfather passed this past April. We’re likely going to skip parent dances altogether. I want to have a table with photos of my dad, grandfather and FI’s late grandfather, with a sign that says “we know you’d be here today if heaven weren’t so far away”.
I also want to honour my dad by having a particular scripture passage read (I forget what it’s called. but it’s common at weddings). It was read at my parents wedding, my sister’s wedding and at my Dad’s funeral. We’re having a civil ceremony, so the meaning is more based on that, than the actual religious meaning.
Post # 15
Maybe a bit dark, but what about playing a slideshow with pictures of your fathers set to music? You could leave it as is, or dance with your mothers during? I don’t know.
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia
@Owl_Doctor: MY FI’s parents are both deceased. We are not doing parent dances, but instead, doing an anniversary dance.
It’s where they DJ/bandleader invite all the married couples to the dance floor and starting with the most recently married couple (you!), ask them to sit down by years. Less than a day, less than a year, less than 5 years, etc…
At the end of the song, the last couple dancing have been together the longest. It’s very sweet!
Sometimes the winning couple get a prize, but we haven’t decided if we’re doing the prize yet.