Both Dads are deceased. Something other than a dad/daughter dance?

posted 3 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
3237 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We had a memorial table with pictures of ours loved ones and candles. That’s it though, we didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. Just a nice little spot for them to be with us.


Post # 4
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

Would it be too weird to dance with your mom? Is your fiance dancing with his mom?

We had a memorial table at our reception with photos of parents and grandparents who have passed, and a framed list of names and a sweet poem. There was also my mom’s urn and a nice vase of flowers. We didn’t perform any actions for a memorial, because my loss was too recent and I don’t think I could have handled it. 

Post # 5
193 posts
Blushing bee

Do you still have your grandfather? That could be a way to honor him to have a dance with him. 

Post # 6
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

My dad passed away 5 years ago and my grandpa passed away last summer. I was uncomfortable having ANY parent dances, so we scrapped them altogether. No big deal. I have memorial charms on my bouquet.

Post # 8
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I recently went to my cousin’s wedding a few weeks ago and both of his parents passed away several years ago. He had his dance with his oldest sister and I thought that was very sweet. She was also the one who walked him down the aisle.

Post # 9
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I lost my dad when I was 19. I fought with him a lot the last few years and didnt talk to him at all the last year before he passed so not the best relationship, but I still felt like he should be acknowledged. I bought a white corsage and found a little picture of him and put it in a little charm and attached it to the corsage. On the wedding day Ill have that sitting on the gift table probably by some pictures or by the guest book or something. And instead of a father/daughter dance Im planning on doing a mother/daugther dance so you might consider doing that


Post # 10
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Owl_Doctor:  My dad passed away when I was 11, and I don’t have any grandparents left either. I plan on scrapping all parent dances. FI and I will have to talk to FMIL to see if she’s okay without a mother-son dance, because I know that even that will make me upset. It’s a pretty sucky thing to deal with, and the only downer of what will otherwise be an amazing day.

Who are you having walk you down the aisle? I plan on asking one of my uncles.

Post # 11
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Could you pick a song that your dad(s) loved and dance to them with your moms?

I also love the memory charms on the bouquets. 

Post # 12
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Owl_Doctor:  Hi! My father passed away when I was a teenager (I was a total daddy’s girl too). My mom walked me down the aisle AND we had a mother daughter dance…it was amazing…not weird at all, it was actully quite emotional. We danced to Carrie Underwood’s “Mama’s Song”

The reverend that married us said a little something special during the ceremony in regards to my father, which made it really special and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

Post # 14
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My father passed away six years ago, and my maternal grandfather passed this past April. We’re likely going to skip parent dances altogether. I want to have a table with photos of my dad, grandfather and FI’s late grandfather, with a sign that says “we know you’d be here today if heaven weren’t so far away”.
I also want to honour my dad by having a particular scripture passage read (I forget what it’s called. but it’s common at weddings). It was read at my parents wedding, my sister’s wedding and at my Dad’s funeral. We’re having a civil ceremony, so the meaning is more based on that, than the actual religious meaning.

Post # 15
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Maybe a bit dark, but what about playing a slideshow with pictures of your fathers set to music? You could leave it as is, or dance with your mothers during? I don’t know. 

Post # 16
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia

@Owl_Doctor:  MY FI’s parents are both deceased. We are not doing parent dances, but instead, doing an anniversary dance.

It’s where they DJ/bandleader invite all the married couples to the dance floor and starting with the most recently married couple (you!), ask them to sit down by years. Less than a day, less than a year, less than 5 years, etc…

At the end of the song, the last couple dancing have been together the longest. It’s very sweet!

Sometimes the winning couple get a prize, but we haven’t decided if we’re doing the prize yet.

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