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Wedding at Lawrence University. Appleton, WI.

Both parents hosting.... kind of...not really...

posted 4 months ago in Etiquette
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    1.
    Member
    1,124 posts
    Bumble bee
    Nic01    December 31, 2013   Australia

    hi bees,

    I'm confused. We were originally going to foot the entire bill. Then both parents offered a small amount of money. Our invitations would start off with

    'Together with their families' - indicating both parents are assisting but we are payng for most of it.

    My parents have since offered triple the amount compared to FI parents. (approx half of the entire cost!) Mum 'indicated' that if their name are on the invite, it means that they helped with the cost. i'll note that my family is very traditional whereas FI aren't.

    Now what do i write on the invites?

    to me, 'together with their families' states a little amount, equally. Or i've seen:

    Mr & Mrs Smith request the your presence at the marriage of their daughter..' but would that completly disregard FI's parents contribution?

    Suggestions welcome...

     
    2.
    Member
    7,770 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    vorpalette    August 23, 2013   Michigan

    Ugh, that whole the invitation says who's paying is so gross. No one NEEDS to know who's paying. We're getting a bit from FI's parents, and nothing from my side (although my grandma is making our favors). Originally, I just had our names on the invitations, but I decided to change up the wording because I didn't like what I had. I ended up using :

    vorpalette
    &
    Coach

    along with their families, invite you to

    join them in celebrating the beginning

    of their adventures together

    I don't really care what that tells anyone about who's paying, since it's none of anyone's business.

    If all else fails, you can use the wording at the bottom of your original post, plus then "your name to his name, son of his parents."

     
    3.
    Hostess
    3,340 posts
    Sugar bee
    ladyartichoke        SG

    Ooo interesting... I don't know what the rules are here.  Has your mum expressly said she wants to be on the invite?  If not, I'd keep it as is.  Just say to mum that "John's parents helped too" or you could put both set of parents.  I know yours have helped more, but who's counting?  Your in laws don't love you any less. :)

     
    4.
    Member
    377 posts
    Helper bee
    IowaDDS13    July 6, 2013   Iowa

    My parents are paying for everything besides the alcohol and RD, which is covered by FI's parents. We are wording our invitations as such:

     

    Mr. & Mrs. IowaDDS Parents

    Request the honor of your presence

    at the marriage of their daughter

    IowaDDS

    to

    FI of IowaDDS

    Son of

    Mr. & Mrs. FI's parents

    Saturday, the sixth of July

    ...ect, ect

     
    5.
    Member
    1,052 posts
    Bumble bee
    ShellVee    July 2012   Australia

    I had:

    Brides parents & grooms parents request the ..blahblahbblah

    And we paid 60%, my parents paid 40% and DHs parents couldn't contribute. The etiquette of stating who paid is horrible - granted I felt bad after reading all the "how it should be done" but then I spoke openly with mum and she honestly didnt care if their names were on it and what it traditionally means. I didn't speak to DHs family about the situation before deciding what to do as I didn't want them to feel bad for not contributing (I didn't expect my parents to contribute it was a welcome surprise a few days after we got engaged)

     
    6.
    Member
    7,037 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    abbie017    March 16, 2013  

    My parents paid for about 75%, FI and I paid for 20%, and his parents the last 5% ish.  Our invitations said

    Mr. and Mrs. Jones request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter _ to _, son of Mr. and Mrs. Smith...

    FI's parents were just happy to be included on there in some capacity.

     
    7.
    Member
    958 posts
    Busy bee
    Glasgowbound    August 12, 2013  

    We're paying for everything. Our invitations will sound something like

    Glasgowbound

    daughter of mommy Glasgow bound and

    Future MR. Glasgowbound

    son of mommy and daddy future husband

    request the honor of your presence at their marriage

    Blah blah blah.

     

     
    8.
    Member
    6,407 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Pinkmoon    February 14, 2014   Canada

    Since they are both offering money I think your original wording is fine. I think it's silly for the invites to showcase who's footing what percentage of the bill - like the guests actually care? 

     

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