Both parents hosting…. kind of…not really…

posted 1 year ago in Etiquette
11349 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Ugh, that whole the invitation says who’s paying is so gross. No one NEEDS to know who’s paying. We’re getting a bit from FI’s parents, and nothing from my side (although my grandma is making our favors). Originally, I just had our names on the invitations, but I decided to change up the wording because I didn’t like what I had. I ended up using :


along with their families, invite you to

join them in celebrating the beginning

of their adventures together

I don’t really care what that tells anyone about who’s paying, since it’s none of anyone’s business.

If all else fails, you can use the wording at the bottom of your original post, plus then “your name to his name, son of his parents.”

3426 posts
Sugar bee

Ooo interesting… I don’t know what the rules are here.  Has your mum expressly said she wants to be on the invite?  If not, I’d keep it as is.  Just say to mum that “John’s parents helped too” or you could put both set of parents.  I know yours have helped more, but who’s counting?  Your in laws don’t love you any less. :)

577 posts
Busy bee

My parents are paying for everything besides the alcohol and RD, which is covered by FI’s parents. We are wording our invitations as such:


Mr. & Mrs. IowaDDS Parents

Request the honor of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter



FI of IowaDDS

Son of

Mr. & Mrs. FI’s parents

Saturday, the sixth of July

…ect, ect

1696 posts
Bumble bee

I had:

Brides parents & grooms parents request the ..blahblahbblah

And we paid 60%, my parents paid 40% and DHs parents couldn’t contribute. The etiquette of stating who paid is horrible – granted I felt bad after reading all the “how it should be done” but then I spoke openly with mum and she honestly didnt care if their names were on it and what it traditionally means. I didn’t speak to DHs family about the situation before deciding what to do as I didn’t want them to feel bad for not contributing (I didn’t expect my parents to contribute it was a welcome surprise a few days after we got engaged)

9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

My parents paid for about 75%, FI and I paid for 20%, and his parents the last 5% ish.  Our invitations said

Mr. and Mrs. Jones request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter _ to _, son of Mr. and Mrs. Smith…

FI’s parents were just happy to be included on there in some capacity.

2470 posts
Buzzing bee

We’re paying for everything. Our invitations will sound something like


daughter of mommy Glasgow bound and

Future MR. Glasgowbound

son of mommy and daddy future husband

request the honor of your presence at their marriage

Blah blah blah.


10727 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Since they are both offering money I think your original wording is fine. I think it’s silly for the invites to showcase who’s footing what percentage of the bill – like the guests actually care? 

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