Post # 1
I went to my first wedding as an adult a few years ago. I remember being confused about what to gift at the Shower, vs. what to gift at the Wedding. It seems that here in NY, it’s “the norm” to buy a gift off the registry for the Shower and then bring a cash gift to the Wedding itself.
But when I read other threads, it doesn’t seem everyone does that outside of NY? Or they bring a gift from the registry to the Wedding?
I’m asking, because I was considering NOT having a Registry, but when my mother heard this, she nearly fainted, because she wants to be able to throw me a Shower. But I told her we already live together and I don’t want to ask for things we don’t need. Then, I suggested a Honeymoon Registry, but she didn’t love the idea.
I think we’ve settled on a Honeymoon Registry, along with a small item Registry from BB&B, but to me, that still doesn’t warrant a Shower. Anyone else?
Post # 3
Darling Husband and I lived together prior to marriage as well but we still registered. There are always things that you can upgrade. Personally, I would jump at the chance of a shower if someone’s willing to throw it for you. There aren’t many oppertunities in life where you get to be showered with gifts.
As for the gift situation, I grew up in NYC but am now Upstate and the same “rules” apply. Registry gifts are almost always given for the shower and cash is given for the wedding. There were a few people on our guest list who gave us actual gifts for the wedding but 99% of them went the monetary route.
Post # 4
We were pressured into registering. We don’t need anything but a number of people want to buy gifts. So we registered. A few upgraded things, a few novelties.
Post # 5
@csteen85: Meh. Then don’t have a shower. Its also the norm here to do gifts at the shower and $ at the wedding.
Post # 6
We didn’t have a registery, we were combing two houses so we had a ton of stuff. The house needs work so I told anyone that asked, and tons of people asked, we needed Home Depot GC’s or Lowe’s etc… we really didn’t need stuff. For the shower I received one gift and the rest were GC’s to home improvement places. For the wedding we only received cash, and one gift, which was fine with me because I didn’t want to lug stuff home from the wedding.
I do however really wish I had registered for some things, a grill pan, a few new pots, replace all the cookie sheets etc. It would be nice to have new stuff.
FWIW I grew up in NYC and Maryland and now live in Florida and the give a gift thing at the shower and cash at the wedding has been the case everywhere I’ve lived. I just think that people don’t want to lug a gift to the wedding anymore than you want to lug it home after.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
My shower was yesterday, and it will be one of my favorite wedding-related memories. I felt so much love from the friends and family there. There’s something really special about getting together for a few hours with the ladies.
Are there things you and Fiance can upgrade? How about lingerie? Cookbooks? Even if your was shower was just “bring your favorite recipe”- something less gift-related, for me it was a great experience that I think every bride should have.
Post # 8
I live in Missouri, and where I’m from, it is common to give a gift at the shower and money at the wedding. You may still see some gifts at the wedding, but the majority is cash.
My Fiance and I are coming from a semi-similar situation. I’ve been living at home, but with him living on his own for awhile, he’s accumulated some things. We registered for things we wanted to upgrade or replace. It’s been nice to start off with new things that feel like “ours”. Plus, as CaitMarae said, this is one of the few times you’ll be able to be showered with gifts! 🙂
Post # 9
Around here we got gifts for our shower and money for our wedding, but we also got a good handful of gifts at our wedding too, which is NOT the norm around here.