(Closed) Both Registry (Shower)and Wedding (Cash) Gifts….When did it become “the norm”?

posted 6 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Darling Husband and I lived together prior to marriage as well but we still registered. There are always things that you can upgrade. Personally, I would jump at the chance of a shower if someone’s willing to throw it for you. There aren’t many oppertunities in life where you get to be showered with gifts. 

As for the gift situation, I grew up in NYC but am now Upstate and the same “rules” apply. Registry gifts are almost always given for the shower and cash is given for the wedding. There were a few people on our guest list who gave us actual gifts for the wedding but 99% of them went the monetary route. 

Post # 4
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We were pressured into registering.  We don’t need anything but a number of people want to buy gifts.  So we registered. A few upgraded things, a few novelties.  


Post # 5
2697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@csteen85:  Meh. Then don’t have a shower. Its also the norm here to do gifts at the shower and $ at the wedding.

Post # 6
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

We didn’t have a registery, we were combing two houses so we had a ton of stuff.  The house needs work so I told anyone that asked, and tons of people asked, we needed Home Depot GC’s or Lowe’s etc… we really didn’t need stuff.  For the shower I received one gift and the rest were GC’s to home improvement places.  For the wedding we only received cash, and one gift, which was fine with me because I didn’t want to lug stuff home from the wedding. 

I do however really wish I had registered for some things, a grill pan, a few new pots, replace all the cookie sheets etc.  It would be nice to have new stuff.

FWIW I grew up in NYC and Maryland and now live in Florida and the give a gift thing at the shower and cash at the wedding has been the case everywhere I’ve lived.  I just think that people don’t want to lug a gift to the wedding anymore than you want to lug it home after.

Post # 7
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

My shower was yesterday, and it will be one of my favorite wedding-related memories. I felt so much love from the friends and family there. There’s something really special about getting together for a few hours with the ladies.

Are there things you and Fiance can upgrade? How about lingerie? Cookbooks? Even if your was shower was just “bring your favorite recipe”- something less gift-related, for me it was a great experience that I think every bride should have. 

Post # 8
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  I live in Missouri, and where I’m from, it is common to give a gift at the shower and money at the wedding. You may still see some gifts at the wedding, but the majority is cash.

  My Fiance and I are coming from a semi-similar situation. I’ve been living at home, but with him living on his own for awhile, he’s accumulated some things. We registered for things we wanted to upgrade or replace. It’s been nice to start off with new things that feel like “ours”. Plus, as CaitMarae said, this is one of the few times you’ll be able to be showered with gifts! 🙂



Post # 9
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Around here we got gifts for our shower and money for our wedding, but we also got a good handful of gifts at our wedding too, which is NOT the norm around here.

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