Boudoir problems (well, actually it's just me). What could be wrong?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 2
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

MrsJaneDoe:  Are you more stressed than normal? I have anxiety and I have trouble ‘letting go’ enough to orgasm. I’m always thinking and worrying and never actually able to enjoy the moment. You didn’t mention being stressed at all and having a relaxing day in a hotel room sounds great but for me it wouldn’t be enough. Good luck.

Post # 4
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It’s possibly just stress and distraction but have you considered having your Fi use the vibrator on you? Your body’s sensitive zones do shift around a bit every so often and it’s possible that he’s just not hitting the right spot any more. By having him use the vibrator on you, it helps him get a better idea of what feels insanely good to you right this moment. Don’t be afraid to guide him and give him lots of feedback— obvioulsy in a way that is hot and sexy and not critical! 

Post # 6
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Well it’s definitely worth talking to him about the idea, at least.  There are some men who would definitely feel threatened by sex toys, so you might have to be delicate about how you approach it. It’s like how a really nice scoop of ice cream is great on its own, but a little hot fudge sauce makes it that much more delicious— you’re not going to be satisfied with hot fudge and no ice cream, and you don’t need hot fudge every time you have ice cream, but a little spoonful now and then takes your ice cream from “delicious” to “absolutely incredible.”   You can do a little compromising, too, at least till he warms up to the idea; maybe trading off that you won’t use it at all without him, so long as he uses it with you every so often.   You shouldn’t hide it from him, though, and I don’t blame him for calling you out on it, because that’s definitely not fair on him!

You could also offer to watch porn with him, if that’s his thing, if he’ll be more willing to experiment with the vibrator in exchange.

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