(Closed) Bought beautiful dress, MOH hates it

posted 5 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Got a killer price on this dress and MOH hates it. Resell or have her wear it?
    Sell it : (41 votes)
    35 %
    Ask her to wear it : (70 votes)
    59 %
    Obligatory other : (7 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    1854 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @BooRadley:  This is why I’m paying for my bm’s dresses, hair, and shoes. So all they really have to do is show up and wear it.

    I say you’re paying, she’s wearing.


    Post # 4
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Maybe reserve your final decision until she’s actually tried the dress on.

    Post # 5
    2488 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    She might like it on.

    If she isn’t willing to wear it tell her to buy her own damn dress. Its your wedding.

    My girls would have gone naked if I’d asked them to. This is about you.

    She should at least try it on.

    Maybe you can make some alterations to it so that its more to her likeing or something! but she needs to give it a chance.

    Do not dish out money for something else. When the bride buys she gets to pick what it is.

    When the Maid/Matron of Honor pays she gets a bit more say.

    This is all my HO

    Post # 7
    5966 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    Look, she said she’d wear it, it’s your wedding and she’ll wear what you want her to, but you can’t make her love it and it doesn’t matter anyway….this is what you’ve got, it’s paid for, and ten years from now the two of you can laugh about it because honestly, it’s just a dress!

    Post # 6
    30 posts
    • Wedding: April 2014

    Your day= Your way 😉

    Post # 8
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    I would wear it so long as you paid for it and the alterations.  It’s just one day.

    Post # 9
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’d have her try it on. As long as you like it (since you’re paying), she should wear it. 

    Post # 10
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I wouldn’t make her wear it if the issue is she would feel uncomfortable in it (like say she would never choose to wear strapless). If that’s not the case, and she just doesn’t care for the looks of the dress, I think as long as you paid for it, she should wear it. I’ve worn some bridesmaid dresses that I didn’t like AND I paid for them; it goes with the territory.

    Post # 11
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    She’s the only woman in your bridal party? Why not just go shopping with her and let her pick her own dress (with you having veto power)?

    Post # 12
    3588 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    @BooRadley:  Usually I stay out of threads like this, the YOUR DAY=YOUR WAY cheerleading ones hwere the brides’ friends and relatives are cyber bullied into submission.

    But in this case: I’m with ya, baby.

    The dress you chose is entirely reasonable (unless it is the strapless aspect of it, and since 99.9% of things are strapless these days, that could not have been a surprise to your Maid/Matron of Honor.)

    Personally, I think it is pretty.

    You are paying for it. You sent it directly to her house. She didn’t have to exert one bit of effort.

    I think it’s fine to ask her to wear it, you’ve made this process very simple for her. 


    Post # 13
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    No, please don’t make her wear it!!

    I had a post up the other day about a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress that I have to wear next year. I hate it, it’s not flattering on my body type, and I will feel uncomfortable all day. I’m not actually saying anything to the bride, I am just sucking it up because it’s her day. But I will not feel comfortable.

    One of my favorite (and easiest) parts of wedding planning was letting my girls pick their dress. They all got something they loved, felt comfortable, and didn’t pay more than $100 each.

    with that said, I actually like the dress you picked.

    Post # 14
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    IMO, I would want my Maid/Matron of Honor to feel comfortable and happy how she feels and looks in her dress. But I woukd have to like it too. Compromise. If I’m paying or not. I don’t want a grumpy, attitude, uncomfortable Maid/Matron of Honor. Its  my wedding, but she’s still my friend who I care about her feelings. 

    Post # 15
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    First off its stunning!!!!!! and secondly I agree, your day ypur way! Especially where you’re paying! Love love love it!

    Post # 16
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    Is your priority having this exact dress, or having your Maid/Matron of Honor happy with what she’s wearing that day?

    Since you only paid a very low bid for the dress and you aren’t out that much, I think for the sake of your Maid/Matron of Honor it would be entirely fair to offer her a choice: wear the dress you bought (costing her nothing) or let her buy a dress she likes on her own dime (you have approval rights). That way the ball is in her court, either way you will like the dress she ends up wearing, and she gets a say. She will also have the chance to see what the dress looks like *on her* (I know I would be leery of ANY dress purchased over the internet, no matter how cute, just because I’ve tried on so many things that looked great on the hanger but not on me – and vice-versa. She might decide it’s really flattering, once she tries it on herself). She owes you the courtesy of trying it on, and then you guys can talk about where to go from there.

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