Post # 1
I wanted to get your opinion on this.
One of my boyfriend’s best friends is getting married. He has been invited to the ceremony but I have not. I have been given the okay to attend the reception with him however.
I live with my boyfriend… and have been for quite some time. Not to mention that this wedding is out of town and we have to drive there and spend the night. I was a bit hurt to the honest that I wasn’t asked to go… the girls are usually the one who are excited about the ceremony anyways!
I feel quite embarrased and ridiculous taking a day off from work to attend this and then having to stay in a hotel and not “with my man” while he watches a ceremony by himself.
I brought up this concern to my boyfriend and he decided to tell his friend that he can’t make the ceremony for some lie he’s made up to up to not hurt her feelings, but that we will both attend the reception together. She was pretty livid and kept whining to him on how he NEEDED to go and she really wanted him there. It obviously didn’t once occur to her that maybe it was because she forgot to invite the most important woman in his life ().
What would everyone else done in my shoes?
Is it normal to not invite the significant other of your best friend, if they live together and are in a serious long term commited relationship? More importantly, invite them to only the reception and not the ceremony… knowing they are driving in from out of town just for your wedding and renting a hotel.
Post # 3
I think it’s particularly rude that they wanted to split the two of you up, not to mention my personal issues with invites to the reception only (it’s not for everybody and I wouldn’t do it.)
100% honestly, I wouldn’t want to go AT ALL, and I wouldn’t have wanted my Darling Husband to go either.
Post # 4
That is just super weird. If I were you I would skip the whole thing.
Post # 5
That is ridiculous!! If you have been in a long term relationship which it sounds like you have been, you should most definitely be invited! Do you know why she didn’t invite you? Maybe space issues? Or maybe she just wants a small, intimate ceremony with their closest friends and family? Personally, that’s not the way I would’ve done it, but maybe have your boyfriend politely ask why you aren’t invited.
Post # 6
@AmeliaBedelia: I agree with everything you’ve said.
Post # 7
I think that is so rude ! Even if they wanted it to be small and intimate … They should have thought about the fact that if your boyfriend is important enough to be on that list of close friendd they need to include the women thats in his life ….even if you arn’t engaged or married. I am sorry your going through this and it is nice your boyfriend is standing by your side :).
Post # 8
I think it is very odd that you are not invited to both and I would definitely double check about that.
Post # 9
That is totally weird.
Is it possible that maybe the ceremony space is very small and they can’t accommodate everyone??
Post # 10
I find it quite odd that your bf’s female friend told him he “needed” to go to the ceremony and wanted him there. Why would a bride “need” a guest to be there? A bride should “want” those guests able to attend be there. Do they have a past intimate relationship that you know of?
If it was my bf in this situation, we BOTH wouldn’t be attending, there’s something off here.
Post # 11
I smell something fishy. If I were you, we’d BOTH attend just the reception or I would ask my man not to go to the ceremony at all. The fact that she is hounding him to go alone is a lil’weird to me. You are the most important woman in his life and if they can’t respect that maybe it’s not worth going. Honestly I’d send a card and decline the evening.
Post # 12
I think if it was us, neither of us would attend the ceremony or reception. I think that is so rude, especially if you are travelling there & taking time off of work, and you would have to wait back at the hotel! If they were able to invite you to the reception, you should be able to attend the ceremony.
Post # 13
I think it is rude! You are a long term partner and it is reasonable you be invited to the whole ‘shebang’ in my opinion.
Post # 14
There are those who say girlfriends/ boyfriends of guest are not invited to a wedding if the relationship isn’t serious. But if your living with each other that’s pretty serious! It’s also weird that she invited you to the reception and not the ceremony. Wouldn’t you think it would be the other way around? Very odd! Did he every ask if you could go to the cermony? If he is that IMPORTANT she’ll make room for you if you still want to go after all of this. He just has to say he doesn’t want to leave his woman in the hotel room alone.
Post # 15
I’ll Be Mrs B: I couldn’t agree more! I thought it was so strange that she was so protective and started using terms like “I NEED YOU”. My boyfriend and I have a very honest and open relationship about our past and I’ve asked him if they’ve ever slept together… or even kissed (keep in mind they were best friends through Elementrary School and Middle School…). He claims they never did. i still think he’s lying based on her reaction.
When she told my boyfriend that I was not invited to the ceremony, she stated because it was of spacing issues. I’ve heard from the boyfriend’s mom however (who is also attending) that it’s open seating in a very large outdoor venue… so that doesn’t add up to me?
I figured she might just be over protective of him because she was a woman who has been in his life for 25 years and he and I have only been together for 3 years. The boyfriend told me she also hated his EX… and anyone else he’s ever dated.
When it comes time for our wedding – I keep joking that I’m going to invite her husband and not add a +1 to the ceremony… and only the reception… so she can see how it feels. It’s only a joke… I would never be that mean… I’ll take the high road…!
Post # 16
my sister’s boyfriend is not invited to my wedding. sorry… no ring, no plus one.