(Closed) Boyfriend keeps pushing engagement back…and back…and back again.

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

How long and how old are both of you? I haven’t experienced this…..yet….and I hope it doesn’t happen (I’m still in school)

Does he give you valid reasons why?

I would make sure he really does want to get married and let him know how serious you are about it. I’d possibly say that you see marriage in your future with or without him (if you feel that way)

Post # 4
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@musician32992:  Aw I am so sorry. That is disappointing. But does he really say why it is too soon? Money, he doesn’t feel mature enough, etc…? He has your feelings that should be taken in consideration too. 

Post # 7
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@musician32992:  Sometimes men are scared because they then will have your life to take care of as well. It can be scary to think that another persons life is in your hands. Just like when someone has a baby. Its awesome, but also very scary, and you just want to be completely ready. 

Post # 9
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think you need to ask him why – is it financial concern – does he feel the need to be able to pay for something more than he can now? Do you have some other challenges coming up as a couple?

I had a long engagement as we had a lot of other things going on – my fiance had to go away for nine months, he was a student and weddings cost money, I had studies of my own etc.

I could have easily put the wedding back even further as to me it’s a day which just confirms what we already know / have – not something that will change that.

We’re not religious so we were already living together, knew what we fight over and that we eventually work things out etc

Is the plan that once you get engaged you are getting married and perhaps kids soon afterwards so you’ll need some financial stability?

If engagement means buying a very expensive ring now, having the cost of a wedding soon and being ready to start a family soon I wouldn’t feel his desire to put it off means he doesn’t still want all those things as soon as he feels able to rise to the occasion as a provider and possibly.

Post # 10
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@musician32992:  I don’t think that you should question his love or intentions. Unless there are other signs. But if this is just it, then I would believe him that he wants to get married. But talk to him, have a compromise. You will have to compromise constantly in a marriage. Might as well start now. He says he wants to wait two years. Say, One year and the other year is engagment. instead of waiting a total of 3 years for marriage. Does that make sense?

Post # 12
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@musician32992:  Ok so that I understand what he is wanting. to wait two year to be engaged right. then another one to two years for wedding.

Post # 15
Member
764 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@musician32992:  Good God! lol. jaw —- drop. Well why can’t the engagment be sooner and then the two – three years for wedding to save money. That is plenty of time. Unless you guys need 5 years to save. Does he think yall do?

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