Boyfriend wants a big bachelor party- disrespectful?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Thoughts?
    Don't mention it to him. : (33 votes)
    29 %
    Tell him it made me feel de-valued. : (36 votes)
    32 %
    Wait until we're actually engaged to say anything. : (40 votes)
    36 %
    See it as a major red flag, or a sign that he won't propose ever. : (3 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    1838 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @anon00:  i dont’ think it’s disrespectful. my husband had a trip for his bachelor party & it was fine.  we didn’t have a small wedding, so idk about that but maybe he doesn’t want a whole bunch of strangers/people you don’t know well at the wedding.

    Post # 5
    8680 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I don’t think it’s disrepectful per say.. unless you two are not financially stable at the moment.

    I would sit down & discuss with him, perhaps setting budgets of how much it’ll cost you, and his guests.

    Post # 6
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    He wants to go on a trip…how on earth is that disrespectful??

    Post # 7
    143 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I had that same argument pretty much with my fiance.  I got so worked up about it actually.  Once I explained to him how I felt about it, it really wasn’t a big deal and he rethought his plans.  I’m a big proponent of just being honest (but delicate!) when you are upset, since most things can be worked through.

    Post # 9
    5905 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @anon00:  …I think he wants a big bachelor party and a tiny wedding. 

    It’s not necessarily a reflection of him valuing one over the other, because they’re mutually exclusive events….an initmate and small wedding speaks to the sincerety of the event itself, while a large and elaborate bachelor party makes me think of a last hurrah before he makes that commitment…..

    what is important is that the both of you agree on budgeting and cost, are happy with the choices you make and maintain an open line of communication.

    Post # 10
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    my fiance did a trip about 2 hours away and so did I. His was actually a bit more racey and he even got a lap dance lol… I laugh cause the thought of it is hilarious to me lol…gawd… Anyway…. if thats what he wants I dont see what the big deal is? What are his reasons for wanting a small wedding? If your spending more on the stag party than then wedding i could see that being an issue.

    Post # 12
    2915 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    When I read the title I thought he was definitely in the right, but now that I’ve read through your post I would talk to him. Don’t make it a huge deal, but if you are hurting for money you should say something.

    Post # 16
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @anon00:  Then say that to him.  

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