- 9 years ago
Hello hive! I’m a newbee and have a very serious question to ask of you (I do appologize for the length!).
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 years (not engaged) and his family is just as much my family to me and as mine is to him. His cousin, who he is close with, is getting married the first week of September to a man who is verbally and physically abusive to her. She has a two year old little boy from another man, who, as far as I know, hasn’t witnessed the abuse.
A few weeks ago my boyfriend’s cousin called and invited he and I to go out to the bar with her and her FI. Unfortunately we didn’t get the call until the next morning. My boyfriend listened to the voicemail and immediately after hers was an angry message from her FI demanding to know who my boyfriend was and how he knew his soon-to-be wife, though I excluded a bit of name calling and cuss words, obviously.
My boyfriend called his cousin immediately asking about the angry message left on his phone and she told him that her FI had gotten drunk and angry. They had gone back to her apartment when he started throwing her around and breaking all of her things (wedding related items, household items, etc). She also told my boyfriend that the wedding was off.
Two days later, her FI appologized and the wedding is back on.
Throughout all of this, there have been invitations sent to me for showers and parties. I had expressed my concern to my boyfriend’s mother before RSVPing and she, unfortunately, told just about everyone she knows.
My boyfriend has tried to contact his cousin to talk to her about the situation, but she refuses to return his calls.
We have discussed for hours upon hours what we, as two people that know about the situation, should do about this. We both have decided not to attend the wedding, as I personally am not going to support this marriage, and later found that my boyfriend will not either. Because of this, feelings have been hurt and there is a rift in my boyfriend and his cousin’s relationship.
I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure if I have the right to voice my opinion in the matter, or if I should keep my mouth shut. Should I try to contact her on my own accord? I’m really at a loss. I would greatly appreciate any advice or stories of your own. Thanks so much.