Post # 1
Hi, this is the first time I’ve done something like this 🙂 But I’d love some outside perspective.
Ok, so here I go. My fiance and I are getting married this August, but we both come from broken families. I’m lucky as I no longer have a relationship with my father and my mother has now re-married. I’m having my step-dad walk me down the aisle. My fiance’s family though is another issue. His mother and father are still dating other people. His father has only had 2 girlfriend’s since divorcing his wife over 15 years ago, pretty steady. His mother has re-married 2,3 times? (She’s still married to her last husband, they haven’t legally divorced because it costs money) Dated a TON and is now onto this new guy. They are living together and he is very nice, but she, just, well has a lot of boyfriends you know?! So they have now been dating for about a year, living together, whatever, but I don’t really want him to be in the “family” pictures because who knows how long he’s been around. I don’t want to have these great pictures of us tainted because there’s the EX in the pictures, you know! And then there’s his sister…. Let’s just say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. She is currently dating a guy who’s been in and out of prison (I know, sounds like a keeper), he seems nice enough, but I also don’t want to look at him in my pictures. She’s the VERY jealous type, doesn’t really want to accept me because “I stole her big brother” and am fearful of her turning this day into “if my boyfriend’s not in the pictures, then neither am I” but it’s not her wedding! If they were in serious relationships or not the “jump from ship to ship” type, I wouldn’t mind as much, but I don’t think it’s appropriate to have boyfriends in family pictures. The problem is my wonderful future husband is a push over with his family, doesn’t want to cause any waves, I just want to know, is it appropriate to not have boyfriends in these pictures? Should I enform them early and has anyone had these issues? Please, I’d love some advice!
Post # 3
Take some with both. Have some posed formals with JUST the family that is currently related (the mom, dad and sister) then add in the SOs. That way they aren’t offended by not having ANY pictures with their SOs but if it does turn out to be a less than permenant sort of thing, they aren’t forever in your wedding pictures.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
My Future Sister-In-Law got married about two years before our wedding, and I wasn’t in any of the family photos, because I wasn’t (key word here) family. Was I a little bummed? Yes, but I understood. And hey- I get to be in ALL the family photos this year, so it’s all good. 🙂
As a nice gesture, you can ask the photographer to take photos of those couples separately.
Post # 5
Ugghh…family drama..had it..hate it..over it! Maybe not have BF/GF in any fomal pictures- you can cover the real reason by saying you only want family. Later your photograher can take other candid shots of the parents with their SO’s. That way the “display pictures” won’t be tainted and they still get their SO in pics with them. You can also have your photographer do the dirty work and have him/her state that it will be immediate family only and no SO (I would discuss this with photographer beforehand). Good luck!
Post # 6
I think first of all pictures just with parents regardless of marital status. If you want to be nice or not deal with their drama let them snap one with girlfriend/boyfriend and edit it out of your album or send a link to sister(I would let her stay out of my photos and excon bf wouldn’t be invited anywhere near my wedding but that is just me)
Post # 7
I agree with chasesgirl. I would take some of both to avoid hurt feelings. I would definitely want some without BFs to avoid possible tainted memories if they go their separate ways though.
Post # 9
My mom is seeing someone now and at my wedding I took only two pictures with him in them because it was important to my mom that if they do get married then she has them, and if not then its just a picture among 2,000 on a wedding CD. I think maybe you can try that tactic as a way to not cause waves.
Post # 10
I’d say just do both. Take some pictures of just the family family, then include boyfriends/girlfriends in some. Let your photographer in on the drama and let them be the bad guy and kick people out, they’re used to dealing with that kind of nonsense (and you’re certainly paying them enough). Then when the relationships end, you still have pics of the important people.
Post # 11
Just do lots of photos, some with direct, blood family members, extended family, everyone, just the women, etc. I highly doubt anyone wll object being excluded from some shots as long as they are included in a few.
Post # 12
I think it is absolutely acceptable to do family only. Maybe do a few pics with everyone. Then the rest just formal family photos. A prime example:
When cousin A was married, her sister (cousin B) was engaged so Cousin B’s fiance was in some pics and not others. A few years later, cousin B and husband divorced-luckily for cousin A her pictures weren’t ruined as he wasn’t in all of them!
Stand your ground!
Post # 13
@chasesgirl: I agree with this