Post # 1
This is just a vent, it’s just something that’s been irritating me and I needed to get out.
A few days ago a girl in my husband’s class (a very nice girl, not a brat) came up to our campus and congratulated us on getting married. While talking about the wedding she informed me that there were ‘disappointed’ girls back at our other campus since they had failed to break us up. I guess this doesn’t shock me because there were a lot of horribly bratty girls that think the world of themselves, weren’t very nice to me and would attempt to flirt with him, even while I was there. I say attempt because he’s very good about squashing those attempts, I’ve seen it many times and have heard enough stories to be confidant he’s not encouraging this behavior.
It just pisses me off because it had caused a bit of tension between us when he first started school because I thought he must be doing something other than being cute for these girls to be acting so horrid to me. But honestly, he doesn’t even go to class except for what’s required, we were around each other all the time (I went to school there for something different) and well these girls are just egotistical brats. I just was floored that they weren’t just being silly flirty girls because there was a lack of single men around but they were actively discussing trying to break us up. I just can’t believe it, why on earth are girls so mean? We were an established couple even before he started school. I should mention, this isn’t undergrad we’re talking about, my husband is in medical school, I feel like maybe these girls should be a bit more mature.
Anyways, I’m just stressed because he’s now working on his PhD but he’ll have to go back and finish off the last two years of med school when he’s done (he’s doing a dual degree) and I feel like this is just something we’ve experienced a lot with med student girls. I trust him, so there’s no problem there but he’s a great and wonderful guy so girls are attracted to him, I’m not in their field and it’s been made abundantly clear by many of them that they think that makes them better than me, and thus they’re mean to me and it just stresses me out when people are so condescending that they think they can come up and flirt with your husband right in front of you.
Post # 3
Oh how rude!! I hope she was saying it in a joking manner and wasn’t serious because that’s really trashy. Sounds like your husband is doing the right thing though, and I’m sure he’ll continue to do so. Now that he’s married, I think people will get the message and back off.
Post # 4
I say just ignore those girls, you are the one that got the great guy in the end.:)
Make sure you flash your sparkler in front of them to seal the deal! 🙂
Post # 5
That is absolutely ridiculous. But, if your husband’s a good looking doctor, chances are quite a few women will flirt a little. It’s obnoxious, but as long as he’s squashing their attempts to flirt, that’s all you can do. They’re just B*tches I guess, and some women like a challenge? Beats me!
Post # 6
@elaineathon – No, apparently it was actively discussed, I asked her to make sure I was hearing it right. She’s like yeah but don’t worry I always defended you and said how great you were. I mean thanks, that’s sweet but ugh……who are these people.
@ejs – yeah, I just get tired of it. And it’s not just from the girls, when he was interviewing one of the guys who was interviewing him and who knew me and that we were a couple told him that he used to be attracted to career girls too (at the time I was finishing up my PhD) but then he realized it was better to have clean underwear. It’s like are you freaking joking me, and it hasn’t been the last time I’ve heard stuff like that from older men in his field. I just want to punch them and say get over yourselves you self-centered jacka$$es.
Post # 7
ughh that is annoying! seriously how immature can they be? i know how you feel tho. my FI is in the navy and women are always flirting and commenting on “how hot a man in uniform is”. I probably hear that comment daily. and i dunno if anyone else gets this… but his friends girlfriends are ALWAYS hitting on him right in front of me.. wtf?? Anyways, have you ever said anything to them when they flirt with your husband in front of you? I have… and its very liberating haha.
Post # 8
@JessicaL – Oh yeah, I say something at times or smile politely as they dig themselves into a hole. I’m not usually too blunt or straight out mean but you know just subtle jabs.
I think I’m working with mutant girls though, they just don’t seem to let stuff like that or his disinterest deter them, I think they actually interpret the disinterest as meaning they just have to work harder to catch his interest.
Post # 9
well thats kind of ass backwards thinking eh??
Post # 10
@troubled: My husband is in a MD/PhD dual degree program too!! I’m working on my PhD in a totally unrelated field, but at the same university. But I must be at a muuuuch kinder school than you, because the girls in his program have been super welcoming to me and they would never DREAM of flirting with my husband. I’m so sorry you’ve got such mean girls to deal with! My husband is the only person in the early years of his program who’s married, and most of the others can’t even imagine being married right now. I think for a lot of the students, they are a little bit socially stunted…the line from Grey’s Anatomy about how they just go to school all the time and don’t know how to do other things is probably true for some of them. Maybe these girls are stuck in high school because they just haven’t had the time to grow up yet? You don’t need any advice, because it sounds like your husband has shut them down very effectively! Just wanted to shout out in solidarity to the MD/PhD wives!!
Post # 11
@mrsmdphd – the girls in his md/phd program have been wonderful. There’s not too many of them but I have been able to become friends with them and they’re really great girls. It’s mainly just the med student girls, and yeah I agree with you about the still stuck at least socially in high school. So you don’t get the ‘ohhh, you went to grad school, a couple of my friends didn’t get into med school so they had to go to grad school too’. I seriously got something along those lines from so many of the girls in his class.
I think the other big problem is going to school in sort of the middle of nowhere or at least no where that 20 somethings stick around, there’s less guys in the program and surprisingly more of the guys are wed or in serious relationships than the girls so male attention at our school was definately not abundant. But it’s a relief to hear it might not just be med students in general. I think my restraint in kicking them might fail if I’m 9 months pregnant and a bit more self conscious than normal.
Post # 12
My husband is tall (6’6″) attractive w/ pretty blue eyes. Even though he has developed a BIT of a belly in the last few years, women flirt with him incessantly. He loves to talk to new people, loves to be social & doesn’t really think that they are hitting on him, just chatting, so he sort of oblivious to the whole thing.
When I’m around it bothers me too. I could be standing right next to him, and some girl will come up and flirt with him.. put her had on his arm, toss her hair, laugh at his stupid jokes… very obvious things. Lucily he’s a little naive, and doesn’t catch on, so he won’t get himself in trouble, but I don’t trust a lot of women. They don’t care if a man is taken, if they find them attractive, they will hit on them. I don’t like it.
OP, if your husband is taking it in stride & not paying them any attention, you should feel pretty comfortable with the situation, you don’t have to like it by any means, but I have found that if you continue to bring it up.. it just annoys them.
My husband is incredibly loyal, he had an ex-wife who cheated on him & wouldn’t think to do the same – so by incinuating that he is flirting back, it upsets him.
Now I just walk up, put my arm around him, introduce myself & join in the conversation… usually breaks it up 🙂 You just have to be very confident about yourself & about your relationship!
Post # 13
I know how you feel! My FI is working on his Ph.D in Nuclear Engineering, and he also happens to be incredibly good looking! To me, at least. 😛 But anyway, I know for a fact that there are a few girls in his program that flirt with him, and I’ve been at a party with him where a girl flirted with him for ages! It happens at restaurants too- waitresses will hit on him with me right there. I don’t get mad though- because he’s completely clueless and he’s incredibly awkward so he tends to come off as a bit of a jerk at first. It definitely helps me out!
I know my FI loves me very much and would never cheat on me (his ex cheated on him, and it really hurt him), but it’s other girls I don’t trust. However, I don’t bring it up because I don’t want it to annoy him since I don’t have anything to worry about.
Now when I see someone flirting with him, I usually put my arm around him, grab his hand or give him a kiss on the cheek to send the message he’s already found someone! 🙂
Post # 14
Once during graduate school my husband actually was approached by a female student who said ” What can I do for you to get a better grade” wink wink nudge nudge. Being the oblivious total nerd geek he was he said “well you could come do laundry, and clean the aparment so my wife and I can go out.” Not the politically correct answer- but kinda nerd adorable.