(Closed) Breadwinner Bees

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I will be the only one with a full time job when we get married! FI and I are both finishing up college right now, and I will graduate/start working about a month before we get married. He will still have about another year before he graduates and starts working full time.

For us, it’s not much of an issue – we’ve discussed it and we both agree that someday when we have kids it would be really nice if I could stay home with them. So I’ll be the primary breadwinner for a while, but later he’ll return the favor. Smile

Post # 5
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m the breadwinner, but not by a huge degree. Still, more than him. He is gearing up for a possibly HUGE promotion, which would make his salary leapfrog over mine. I’m all for it!!! The more money, the better!

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i make more than he does but he is more asset rich than i am so he plans on retiring in the next 5 years (hes 38yrs old)

we have seperate bank acounts as well

his salary pays the household stuff like bills, groceries & investments (we dont have a mortgage because of him making some smart decisions when he was younger)  and my salary pays the toys, trips, big purchases (ie plasma or cars) ect

its not an issue – we talk about upcoming plans/budgets and where we want to be at certain times of the year/future.  i think its important not to have a his or my attitude – for us, we have an ‘its ours’ attitude.

oh, but i will say even he doesnt know how much i really make – hes never asked but he has a ballpark idea πŸ™‚

 

Post # 7
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I definitely make more money than my husband, and I did even before he went back to school part-time and his office got furloughed.  It doesn’t really affect most decisions that we make together.  I found out today that my office is about to have a round of layoffs, followed by likely furloughs.  And that makes me very nervous–I feel like a lot of it is going to fall on my shoulders.

Post # 8
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m finishing up a gradaute degree and I’ll be the breadwinner (by far) when I’m done.  My fiance says that he doesn’t care about those things, but I really wonder if it makes him insecure sometimes.

I already feel so much pressure to get a really good job when I’m done because I know that we have a lot of bills and expenses and I’ll have to be the one to take care of them.  We talked about living off of my salary for a year and then using his money to pay off our student loans or to go directly into some kind of savings.  But I don’t know how things are go after that.

I’d be really interested to see what other people say since I’m not actually in the situation yet! :o)

Post # 9
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I make quite a bit more than my guy. Our base salaries are almost exactly the same, but his bonuses are anywhere from 0-10% (closer to 0 lately bc he works in the financial field). My bonuses are anywhere from 10-150% of my salary (I’m a laywer so I get a bonus for cases I win). This year I made almost double what my guy made, but in other years it might be closer to equal.

We’ve talked about it and he says he’s totally fine with me making more… I have an advanced degree so it kind of makes sense. Plus he’s all about as much money as possible. πŸ™‚ The only issue I’ve seen so far is when we talk about the wedding/buying a house. He will have no savings once he buys my ring, whereas I have enough for a downpayment on the house alone. So basically, I will probably pay the majority of the downpayment on our house and for the wedding by myself. He has made comments about how he’s really disapointed at all the money he’s wasted on “toys” over the years and he wishes that he would have gotten serious about saving earlier because he feels badly that he won’t have much to contribute to these things. I really couldn’t care less. I feel like my money is his money and vice versa. Plus, we were together for half of law school so I feel like his emotional support really helped get me through and get me to the job I have now. πŸ™‚

In terms of the future, I don’t think I’ll have any more pull on decisions just because I make more. But I also think that we’ll both discuss ALL major purchases. I am more frugal by nature than he is, but he says now that he respects the way I handle money vs spending it all the time like he always did before we met (and the first year or so we were together).

Also, he loves his job and I do not. I am hoping to either retire early, or to switch careers at some point (to something that would prob make a lot less). He is totally cool with that and he wants to work forever… so it might actually even out in the end!

Post # 10
Member
7082 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m the breadwinner.  It doesn’t change a thing for us πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am currently the breadwinner for our household.  My FI left his job this summer to move cross country with me for my new job.  He is currently unemployed, but he is looking for a new job now that we have completed the move.  We both have careers, and mine necessitated the move.  He should be able to get a new job soon, although in this economy it might take more time than we would like.  So far this has been a good thing for our relationship.  At his old job, FI was totally overworked and always stressed out.  The down time that he has while he isn’t working has been really good for him.  The only major stress for us right now is that we are only living off of 1 income, so we have had to lower our standard of living a bit.

Post # 12
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

I make quite a bit more money, but it doesn’t change anything for us, just affords us a little bit more freedom.  We’re not sure exactly what will happen in the future– we’ll be moving to the US, and I’m not sure what his job opportunities will be there.  We’ve already talked about hoping that he can stay home with the baby, if we’re lucky and get pregnant.  My money is his money, and his money is mine!

Post # 13
Member
990 posts
Busy bee

I make more than FI but not by a longshot – and that will change. While he’s at bootcamp/away from me in the military I plan to finish school and there is NO WAY that I’ll be making what I make now when that happens… hopefully after I have that degree I’ll be making more but one can only hope!

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I actually made more than my FH up until about a month ago when he started a new job. He only makes a little more than me now, but I have to admit I liked it better when I was making more. Not because money is an issue between us at all, I just liked feeling like I was taking care of him. He’s now telling me I can quit my job and stay home if I’m unhappy at work and it’s like the twilight zone – I never thought that would happen and it’s really hard to imagine!

Post # 15
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

right now i make more than FI!! not significantly more though. plus he has investments that pay him dividends that basically even things out. it’s never really bothered us, we’ve always had the “what’s mine is yours” policy, we both work hard!! (well, except since i found weddingbee πŸ˜› )

Post # 16
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@moderndaisy– sounds like a keeper! I wouldn’t actually want to not work at this point in my life, but I’d love to feel like I have the option. πŸ™‚

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