Break-up Advice and Support??

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1229 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

I am so sorry you are going through this! Realize you have nothing to be ashamed of you, you didn’t do anything wrong! this will be a trying time for you but you will come out stronger and find someone who knows how to value you. It will be hard to trust again but don’t let this scare you from meeting people when you are ready


As far as contact, in my opinion it is definitely best to cut all ties. Maybe just communicate with his mom to get your stuff back since he isn’t being responsive? unless you don’t really care about retrieving those items. 


Finally, I highly recommend the book its called a break up cause its broken. It got me through a lot of rough times and it made me realize no matter how crazy i thought my actions or thoughts were, there was always someone going through the same feelings and doing crazier things than I was.


best of luck to you & stay strong! 


Post # 4
1662 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Try to get a clean break mass much as you can! I swear it helps.

Of course you are going to grieve the relationship and be sad for awhile. Try your absolute best to take good care of yourself during this time. You’ll be in a much better place when you come out of the other side of the grief. 

I went through a break up once where I was extremely upset and did not want to break up… I didn’t answer the phone for him and absolutely flung myself into running track, eating right and school. I wasn’t myself for awhile, but when I finally came to… I was someone I could be proud of.

It didn’t hurt to think that if he asked about me he would be told, “Oh, Fizzy is doing AWESOME, she looks great!”. 

Post # 5
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m so sorry. You are worthy of love, and he’s the one that should be ashamed

Post # 7
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am SO sorry you have to go through this!…it doesnt really help you right now but thank God it happened now instead of later! Can you imagine if you were married with a house together or kids or pets or whatever!!….Not understanding what happened must eat away at you I know…the way I see it is that HE is the one who is kinda broken…he is not healthy…you shouldnt take him back even if he wanted to as someone that can do that to their loved one cannot be counted on!…When you meet the right guy he will be with you through thick and thin, not leave you high and dry!…it is AWFUL what he has done…get your old job back, place to live and go on a mission to be or stay healthy. Eat right, exercise a little, make it your main focus! You will come out on top! I have been through a really icky toxic relationship and I know it is possible for you to come out on top! You will be a much stronger person for this! Hang in there girl and do not let this poor excuse of a man trample you down! DO NOT talk to his mother any more…move on and put it all behind you:)

Post # 9
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@zoiien:  I’m so sorry this happened. It just sounds bizarre on his part. But I think it’s great you’re getting a plan in place and moving forward with your life. I’d bet your old boss would give you back your job in a heartbeat. And I agree with PP’s — thank goodness this happened before you married him as opposed to after.

Post # 10
8387 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@zoiien:  *HUGS*  So so sorry that you’re going through this.  I don’t really have any advice other than to just give yourself some time.  Best of luck to you and please take care.

Post # 11
400 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013 - castle green

hugs girl. i agree with @Laurenplusalex. You are more than worthy of love and shouldnt feel ashamed what so ever. He sounds like he’s definitely immature and somewhat of a coward considering he just up and left like that. 


Post # 12
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Please don’t feel ashamed of yourself, you did absolutely nothing wrong! You deserve so much better.

Try to focus on you. Get your hair done, get a nice outfit…even if you’re just going to stay at home with ice cream! Exercise, find your dream job, get a pet…make yourself everything you’ve wanted to be!

You can get through this, and you’ll be even stronger for it!

Post # 13
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

What an utter bounder! Please don’t feel ashamed but do take comfort in the fact that this selfish bolter has saved you a great deal of future heartache if you’d married him.

I’m glad you are now back in your home state and yes, I’d definitely try and get your old job back and rent a new place to live. Don’t be ashamed to tell family and friends what has happened either. You need as much support as you can get right now and nobody will think badly of you.

If he still has possessions of yours then I suggest emailing his mother to ask that he ship these items to you – use your parent’s address – and then cut contact. No good will come from hearing news of him. 

And yes, you will be stronger for it even though that’s hard to recognise right now. Warmest wishes for a much brighter future. 

Post # 15
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That’s horrendous that he left you in a strange place with no communication! My advice would be to maybe stay with a friend for awhile if possible? Get in touch with your parents and friends – you need support right now! That’s a good idea to get in touch with your old job to see if you could work there again (if you liked that job) asking won’t hurt anything. You will get through this and be a much stronger person for it. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but I can say with 100% certainty that no, he was not your “one true love” ! You’ll meet someone amazing who would never in a million years put you in a situation like this. It’s ok to feel heartbroken, just remember that hearts do heal and everything will be ok <3

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