(Closed) Break Ups Suck

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Mrs_Amanda:  uhhhhg – I’m going through this with a good guy friend, who is in his mid 30’s, had been with his girlfriend for 4 years, they lived together, she was GREAT (and she and I were just getting to that point where we’d hang out without the guys, which I was loving) …  and he dumped her out of the blue – because she told him she needed some kind of answer about him wanting kids (she’s also in her early-mid 30s).    He has now met us at the bar with a string of chicks who are maybe 24 tops and act 18.  I’m also very transparent.  Without me even saying anything last week, when the girl went to the bathroom, he said to me “what!! she’s hot!!”

I have no good advice really – other than hope the new girlfriend is cool, and if she’s not,  hope she’s just a rebound  😉

Post # 5
Member
11397 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Oh man that has to suck! My husband & I also have “couple” friends. Three couple friends actually. All of the guys (three) are my husband’s family, the two wives & the one fiance of these three couples are my friends as well as the men are my in laws. That would just be plain strange if this happened!

If I was you though, I would have a chit chat with the ex. Tell her you really don’t want to get in the middle of the whole break up BUT that you & her are to remain friends regardless. Also tell her you may be meeting some of his new dates but that has nothing to do with your friendship with her.

Post # 6
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

That sucks we couple friends break-up. You need to look at it from the perspective that these 2 are probably better off separate. I think you should give the new girl a chance, just as when the friend finds a new man you would expect your husband to give him a chance. You don’t have to pick sides.

Post # 7
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Chuckled at the “What!! She’s hot!!” comment…

Lol, it gets worse.

By the time you get to middle age (mid 40s and beyond)… you’ll no doubt come across a friend or two who gets a Divorce and starts dating way down the “evolutionary cycle” (ie He’s 50, and she’s 20-something).  Between you and him, you’ll have teenage or college kids who are either older or more mature… than his latest “fantasy” girlfriend.

You’ll wonder what he sees in her… and more so whatever does she see in him (afterall you may well recall him when he was her age)… and be acutely aware that when she is your age (40 or 50… he’ll be 65 or 75… and you for the life of you can’t imagine living your life with somone your father’s age in his elderly years)

You’ll shake your head (or face palm) and sadly acknowledge that a friendship door has probably closed (on its own) by some of the chioces that others make…

It happens, to what was otherwise good friendships, and yes it sucks !!

PS… As someone who was divorced, I can tell you that one of the hardest fall-outs from a Divorce is the fact that more than likely you have to start over with friendships… as things change so drastically in regards to other couples (even those you’ve been friends with for eons).  People take sides… and it gets complicated… that and some married folks just see the “Divorce set” as being either too different from them, or a threat on their own marriages.  For sure this was one of the hardest parts of getting a Divorce from a “social” aspect, losing some great friendships that I had for decades.  It is what it is… friendships truly do come and go, you understand that more, the older you get.

 

Post # 8
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee

Although you were good friends with these women, in actual fact their SOs are your DH’s friends, so they’re the ones who’ll stay in your lives. The ex-girlfriends will be replaced by new girlfriends, and in the long term you probably won’t hear from them much. So I’d try not to ally yourself too strongly with the ex-girlfriends, and try to accept the new girlfriends!

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