Post # 1
I was inspired by Miss Cheeseburger’s P.S. at the end of her bridesmaid dress post, about breaking bridal law at Alfred Angelo’s. I recently had the same kind of experience when I went to meet with our florist. My mom, aunt and I went to talk about my ideas with him. About 85% of the things that I said made all 3 of their jaws drop, including – we are going to department stores to find dresses that look good together, but are not the same dress (but it won’t look right! the photos! the flowers! oh my!) I don’t want FI’s boutonniere to have a flower on it, I want it to be berries, acorns, and the like, (I got fun comments on this one- “but berries are for Easter!,” “the groom needs a flower, but the groomsmen can have berries,” and just blank stares that his bounterrie won’t be the same flower as my bouquet) and we did not care very much about our cake. (“get a small cake that fits the ‘ace of cakes style that everyone likes‘ and then have a sheet cake in the back.”) NO. When I said we didn’t care about the cake, that means we have no interest in an ace of cakes cake. Just a plain. normal. cake. Really. We want that.
It seemed that they were all reading from the same Wedding Bible and did not realize that it was possible to change things up a bit. I found the whole experience funny because I know they all want to make me happy and are trying to figure out how to get themselves out of the ‘traditional’ way weddings should be done, but their exasperated looks of shock and dispair when I said things like “I like the twig and berry look” were hysterical.
What makes it even funnier is that I am not straying that far from the Wedding Bible, at least we have a wedding party, a cake, a bounterrie, etc. I can only imagine the reaction of horror if I threw out one element all together.
Has anyone else had funny reactions to their not-perfectly-traditional wedding choices?
Post # 3
I told my florist that I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to carry a bouquet. I’m pretty sure I might have caused a stroke. And when we were looking at venues, I mentioned that we might want to open the bar prior to our ceremony, so guests could be enjoying a cocktail while listening to our vows. Wow, did that ever rock this poor woman’s world.
Post # 4
I recently told my mom that we weren’t doing the garter or bouquet toss because we think it’s tacky and I got the ‘deer in headlights’ look.
I mean really? We’re older and I always run the other way at receptions when they do this, so we’re not doing it.
Post # 5
Thankfully noone made comments about our wedding choices. Like you we didn’t stray all that far from tradition, but we also didn’t buy into the idea of perfection for the day. I remember reading a blog somewhere where the bride to be was complaining that people seemed to see her wedding as a photo shoot, and she was more concerned with having a great day.
Post # 6
… berries are for Easte? Berries are for WINTER! Not easter. Lillies are for Easter. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around that. Did I miss something?
Post # 7
i think people talk more behind my back than to my face about my untraditional wedding. we’re just doing it very casual and small, no dancing. my 4 year old niece to be was asking a million questions about the no dancing thing the other day. “but you have to dance with uncle p!” “but what’s your song if you don’t have a first dance?” and then when we went to pick out her dress her mom was convinced it had to be super fancy, even though i said my dress was kind of casual. luckily i’m ok with the flower girl stealing the show.
Post # 8
@redherring- HAAHAH. I rolled off my seat when I read that. Completely the reaction I got.
@stephin- By the time I told them I didn’t want to do the boquet toss, they were already numbed by all my previous comments that they almost expected it. And that deer int he headlights look is the perfect way of explaining it!
Post # 9
My choices didn’t seem so strange on Weddingbee, but they were definitely non-traditional in the sense of midwest weddings. Then again, I’m actually from So Cal so maybe everyone expected weird stuff. I didn’t even think it was weird…but the sheet cake, fake flowers, photo booth, signature cocktails, etc, were like, CRAZY at my wedding. people were like, gasping when i told them i wasn’t doing real flowers. HOW DARE I?! Oh and SHORT cocktail dresses for BM dresses.
Post # 10
KMSkull- maybe it was hay is for Easter? They threw so many traditional “this is for that” at me that I don’t even remember! Does hay make sense?
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
Seriously, I am shocked that more people in the wedding industry don’t keep up with current wedding trends! It’s like, do your research, schmuck! It’s not like anything you and your guy want is that far out of the ordinary!!
Post # 12
some of those traditional things are no fun, so i’m always baffled when people put so much stock into them. At least you have a good attitude about it! maybe you could just play around with it and say off the wall things just to shock them.
Post # 13
mouse- exactly what I’m thinking! I want to tell the florist to spend a few hours on weddingbee, then we will be ont he same page!
Post # 14
I remember when I was driving up to my best friend’s wedding (with my fiance and two bridesmaids in tow), she called to say she was at a craft store picking up a garter because her mom had talked her into doing a garter toss.
We got off the phone with her, and then called her back ten minutes later to talk her down from it, because we knew from the beginning that it was something she didn’t want at all – but she was just giving into it because of the pressure. She decided to do a bouquet toss after all (I think ’cause she got a free toss bouquet), but the DJ even said “Oh, go and get a chair for the garter toss!” and she was like, uh, no, not happening.
The Wedding Industrial Complex kind of sucks for everyone (wedding professionals included, too).
For our wedding… we each have a best man and maid of honor. Our ring bearer is my fiance’s uncle (who is in his 40s). We’re not doing any formal parent dances.
Post # 15
I know that my wedding is going to be all over the place… and surprisingly, my parents like it! (His parents… they’re older, and having trouble adjusting to what we want). I mean, I don’t want the garter/bouquet toss… I don’t care about a traditional guestbook, traditional bouts, bridesmaid bouquets (my girls might wear muffs since it’s a winter wedding), centerpieces, food, bridesmaid dresses off the rack, etc… my poor extended family is so confused.
Post # 16
Yay!!! I was a go against the wedding industry flow bride and I loved it!!
IN YOUR FACE, bridal norms!! 😛