(Closed) Breaking Off Engagement! Help!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow, you sound like you’ve handled this so well with your ex-FI. Serious kudos.

Honestly, if I thought my parents were going to be jerks about it, I’d probably tell them over email. And then take their phone call but it would very oddly lose reception when they started into stuff I didn’t want to hear.

Are your parents paying for school/living expenses? That might be the only way I’d be more cautious. But seriously, I would have no tolerance for grief from my parents. What a hard decision this must have been and you deserve nothing but support.

Post # 4
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@TxAggie15:  Good for both of you for doing the right thing.  As far as telling your Mom… just tell her.  If she gets nosey or out of line, end the conversation.  You’re an adult who made a good choice, you don’t need her blessing. 

I should add, it might be best for you and your ex-FI to live separately… don’t slide back in to old routines!

Best of luck to you!

Post # 5
Member
6018 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sometimes you just rip the  bandaid off and be done with it.  I’d tell her everything you posted.  It sounds well thought out and logical and also with heart…..

Good luck

Post # 6
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee

Something about this seems….off.

Post # 7
Member
9072 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Have you put any money down for the wedding?

If you haven’t, I don’t see what the big deal is.  You’re an adult and you can make your own decisions, she really shouldn’t have a say in it.  I would just explain it rationally like you did here.  If she has a problem with it that is really her issue, not yours.

Post # 8
Member
9072 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@KTBanana:  Yeah…I’m not sure why they would be mad about anything especially if no wedding planning has been done.

Post # 9
Member
6260 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

I broke off an engagement.

I told everyone who asked that it was mutual, and because we fought too much and were no longer in love. I braced myself for the worst.

But instead, everyone was really supportive, and kept telling me how brave I was. It was kind of weird at the time, but in hindsight I guess it was pretty brave, especially starting over at my age. You will be fine, and anyone who isn’t supportive doesn’t want what’s best for you. And if they don’t want what’s best for you, you don’t need them in your life. (Besides your parents, but I have a feeling they will come around, and will probably be more supportive than you think.)

Post # 11
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Kudos to you for doing what you feel is right, regardless of the pressure you may feel from others.

I was in similar shoes as yours when I was in my early 20’s. It was only years after that my mom admitted how little she liked him and that she’d even have nightmares about me being back together with him.

Enjoy being single and having your freedom.  No doubt when the time is right, the real “one” will come your way. 🙂

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