Breaking up with a friend. Advice. Please.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Don’t respond. Block all communication from her (Facebook, emails, either block her number or set your phone to send it straight to voicemail, and delete everything as soon as you see it). Don’t read anything she sends you or listen to messages.

Post # 5
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it’s weird that you ended a friendship with someone because their husband is friends with your ex. I’d probably be pretty hurt if I was her (especially since you were a bridesmaid in her wedding) and wishing that you could get over this whole situation with your ex and put it in the past.

However, it sounds like you have your mind made up, so I would just continue to not respond to her messages.

Post # 6
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Marper:  Ignore and block as necessary.  She will take any response however small as being an “in” to becoming your friend again.

Post # 9
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If the main reason you chose to end the friendship is because of her association with your ex, couldn’t the two of you just hang out alone every once in a while? I don’t see why your ex has to be involved at all. You two were obviously close enough at one point for her to ask you to be a bridesmaid, so you ending the friendship like this is probably pretty confusing for her. In her mind, she’s probably thinking that you’re getting married in a few months and this mess with your ex should be over.

I’ve never really gotten the whole “breaking up” with a friend thing. Unless you guys have a huge, blow-out fight or she sleeps with your boyfriend or something, I think friendships kind of begin and end organically. It’s probably a weird situation for her to think that everything is great with you two and then for you to call and say you don’t want to be her friend anymore.

I’m just trying to see the situation from her perspective, but if you really don’t like her as a person and have no interest in friendship with her (even if it meant you could be her friend without seeing your ex), then I would just continue to not respond.

Post # 11
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Okay, well that’s weird then if she’s been contacting you every week for a year with no response. Unless you feel like she’s legitimately crazy and may pose a danger to you, I’d probably just keep ignoring. You could confront her, but that might do more harm than good in this situation.

Post # 12
Member
2581 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

@Marper:  I had someone pretend to be in a different country when I tried to get in contact with them, then they arranged a dinner date in our home town the next day on facebook.

 

I got the message.

Post # 14
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Not all friendships end organically — some people just don’t get the message or refuse to let go (which, for me, was part of the problem in the first place).  I had to have an actual break-up conversation with a friend because she wouldn’t back off.  I cringed everytime I got a message and was having bad dreams about it/her. 

Basically, she had a lot of personal drama and was doing shady stuff, and despite my best efforts not to, I found myself getting sucked in.  It was co-dependant and not good for either of us.  I tried the “it’s not you, it’s me,” but she wouldn’t hear that so I ended up telling her why I couldn’t be her friend and why I wouldn’t change my mind.  It was icky, but I feel better off without her.

Post # 15
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

She can’t contact you if you block her.

 

I recently had to do this with a co-worker who persisted in calling/texting me at home at odd hours on weeknights and weekends to discuss work, after I repeatedly asked her to use work email for that sort of thing.

 

I signed up for the blocking feature with AT&T, and it stopped all of that nonsense in its tracks. Best five bucks a month I ever spent. 

 

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