Post # 1
The time has come to break up with my best friend from High school. I have seen it coming over the years, but not over something so stupid.
I got a message from her saying she had been ignoring me and hardly responding to me for 2 years because I am with Fiance and we decided to get married. She hasn’t liked him from day one, because he hit on me first (totally not him, once you ge t to know him) and refuses to give him a chance (Everyone else I know Loves him). And then she wanted to know how the wedding stuff was going. I lost it.
He treats me well, he makes a living, and we make each other happy. Yes. I was stupid and almost got married before. Yes. I’m only the second girl he’s ever been with, but that doesn’t mean I’m ruining his life! Lots of first time couples eventually get married. He’s tried to reach out and get to know her, but she never answers his e-mails.
She’s the kind of person who can give you S*** but can not accept constructive criticism for herself. I’ve tried to be the bigger person, tried to get her with kindness, kept up on her birthdays/holidays.
Now she might move in with my Sister (who she likes less than me) and BIL because of relationship issues. My sister knows how Fiance and I feel about her, and it broke my heart to tell her, my twin and Maid/Matron of Honor, they’d have to come see us if they want to see us at all. We’re moving back to the area, and have no desire to see her at all.
Am I being insane here? Should I try again, or just delete her from everything? *End Vent*
Post # 3
Ugh I’m so sorry! I really hope she doesn’t move in with your sister because you don’t need a toxic person like that in your circle. You are not being crazy, it isn’t worth it if she won’t even give the person that you love a chance because he liked you instead of her!
Post # 4
Thanks, MissAsB! It’s not that she was “into” him, it’s that she thought it was inappropriate for us to begin talking and e-mailing after. We didn’t begin to date for another 6 months after that. She’s only met him once.
One of my other friends has lived with her and her ex. My friend almost went crazy, and moved out as soon as the lease allowed.
I feel bad for this girl. Her ex wasn’t a nice person. I think it’s awesome my sister gave her somewhere to go, when she had no where else. But I think given everyone’s history it’s insane for them to let her live there and let the new dude (who is related with drama with my sister’s IL’s) stay over there with her. My sister needs time to live alone with her hubby (they always have a room mate, and are just now on their own after 2 years of marriage). Ultimately, if it’s what they want they are going to do it, though.
Post # 5
Yes your sister does need to live alone with her husband and enjoy him! I couldn’t imagine having a roommate!
Post # 6
I should probably make an allias right now, but I’m not going to. My BEST friend and I had a falling out too, and for similar reasons. She doesn’t agree with me getting married and won’t be friends with me at all because of it. From my experience, its not worth it. If someone can’t be your friend and supportive no matter what, they aren’t worth your time and really isn’t your friend. She should be happy for you no matter what, and she seems to just bring you down. I think you are right in stopping this “friendship”.
Post # 7
yikes! if she and your sister aren’t even very close, why on EARTH would they ask her to move in with them!? red flag, red flag!
I’m sorry that people go crazy sometimes 🙁 it definitely doesn’t sound (to me) like you’re in the wrong here. It sounds like your friend is dealing with some major insecurities by lashing out. And that’s really hard!
Post # 8
@ Daydreamwanderer-Last week, the girls ex tried to lock her in his bedroom so she couldn’t go on a date with the boy she is now seeing. The apt wants $500 to transfer her to a new unit, and she can’t afford it. She called needing a place to go, and they are letting her stay there in the extra room. I don’t know how they thought of letting her move in, but if she does BIL can have enough to get them a second car. Though everyone is telling them it’s not worth it.
@Rosie-Thanks for not making an alias! = ) You shouldn’t have to. Thanks for the encouraging words
Thanks for the support everyone!
Post # 9
Ugh, what a terrible situation to be in! I’m so, so sorry. I’ve had to break up with friends before and it’s the hardest thing to do, especially if you have alot of history with them. But it sounds like she’s pretty toxic and not anyone you need to have around, so I think it’s probably for the best!
Post # 10
I think you did the right thing here… she is obviously a bad egg, and you don’t need that drama while moving and wedding planning! Good luck and try hard to maintain contact with your sis and BIL so they know it’s not them!!!
Post # 11
Oh wow, the toxic friend! She sounds jealous of you and resentful that maybe you’ve spent less time with her as you started getting close to Fiance. And yes, your sister needs her space!! We try everything possible to keep people OUT of our apartment unless we invite them over for dinner or something specific. We need our alone time! People will always try to take advantage though..
Post # 12
@moderndaisy-I’m not sure about the spending less time with her part. Even when we were less that 8 hours away and I tried to visit her she was “busy.” Fiance and I were LD before we moved to Portland together, last year so I’m positive it can’t just be that.
@LaborofLove-She’s my twin, and BIL is a close friend, I would never ingnore them! And I hope if she stays with them that we will be able to meet up somewhere or have them over for dinner often once we are back.
@KMSull-thanks! = D