Post # 1
I wrote last week about being blindsided that my boyfriend wanted to end our long term relationship out of nowhere. I really appreciated the advice and insight from all your comments. The house we live in is his house (I pay him towards the mortgage) and he had been at his parents since last Wednesday. Tonight he is coming home and I think he honestly expected that I would have moved out! I am trying, I spent this weekend looking for apartments, but haven’t found one that I can move into soon that I can afford. It looks like the ex and I may have to cohabite for a little. He is pissed. It’s so weird, when he ended things with me he told me to take my time moving out. Our entire relationship he never said anything mean to me. Now he’s so bitter out of nowhere. He actually told me that since we are “on a timecrunch” I should move into a pet free apartment and leave my furbabies with him. It’s so upsetting how different he is and I don’t know why. Please think good thoughts for me tonight when he moves back in. I am trying very hard to be civil and to not turn this into something nasty and I’m praying he doesn’t try to make it horrible until I can move out 🙁
Post # 3
That’s awful. I’m sorry things have gone so sour. Is there a friend or family member you could move in with in the meantime? I would not leave your babies with him… you might not get them back. I would suggest getting out of there quickly though. The longer you stay the harder and more awkward things are going to get. He is eager to move on. I think the sooner you get him out of your life, the better.
Post # 4
So sorry OP.
Looks like he thought you would just make things easy for him and clean yourself up out of his life with no help from him! Now he has to be there through the process. I am sure he would have liked to skip it, but oh well… that’s life.
Just keep doing what you’re doing, OP. Find an apartment ASAP, maybe even ask a friend or your family to watch over your pets for a bit and hop into a month-to-month lease.
Make sure you’ve got your most important things somewhere outside of the house, in case he decides to change the locks or something – you don’t want your important documents and all your clothes trapped inside with a disgruntled ex-boyfriend. 🙁
If you need to, get a realtor… they typicall make a comission of 1 to 1.5 month’s rent, but I think that’s worth it to find a pet-friendly apartment in a short amount of time.
Good luck, good luck, and I’m sending lots of good vibes your way!
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Unfortunately, since he ended it so abruptly, I am apt to think he has someone in mind he wants to be with other than you or he just wants to go out and get laid by anyone ASAP but he can’t bring them home until you move out. I would find a way to get out ASAP so you don’t get hurt by finding him with another woman before you’ve totally healed and are ready to move on.
Post # 6
@Em0038: I am so sorry for you! This is just sad and I wish I could help you, but I really wouldnt know what I would do in your situation. I hope you have family and friends that can help you thru this *hugs*
Post # 7
@Em0038: If you have anywhere else you can stay, you should do it. A friend, maybe take some time off from work and go home to stay with mom for a while and look for a place to stay.
If he does not want to be with you, and he wants you to move out-this situation could get worse before it gets better. He may blame you for wanting to stay because you don’t want the relationship to be over.
I am not sure if you maybe want him back or not but you staying there is not way to do it. The best thing to do is move out, let him realize you are gone and miss you, and then maybe he will try and get you back. If he does not then he is sooo not worth it.
Post # 8
@beachbride1216: +1. Men don’t just end relationships for no reason and suddenly want their partner OUT. He must have someone else on the go and his past relationship is cramping his style.
OP, he is a douche canoe. It doesn’t feel like it right now and I know that these words may fall on deaf ears but I promise you are better off and you will realize that on your own one day. Can you go stay with a friend or even your parents until you find somewhere to live?
If you live in Toronto, I will rent one of my places to you and your furbabies. Please don’t leave them with your ex. You may never get them back and if he is a bad partner then I am sure he is a bad furdad too 🙁
I am so sorry.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@MrsPanda99: If you live in Toronto, I will rent one of my places to you and your furbabies. Please don’t leave them with your ex. You may never get them back and if he is a bad partner then I am sure he is a bad furdad too 🙁
Absolutely! I forgot to mention that too. Do not leave your furbabies with this guy because you might not get them back. I took my dog the week I moved out when my ex husband and I separated. He was pissed because I sent my furbaby to live with my mom until I could secure a lease where I was allowed to have my dog live with me. I told him to pack sand, it was my dog and he wasn’t taking him away from me or guilting me out of him alter. Plus, my ex was always a douchebag to my dog so there was no way I was leaving my dogchild with that man!
Post # 11
Totally agree with @MrsPanda99: and @beachbride1216: He has a new woman that he wants to bring home. I had a friend go through this. Had to share living space for a few months until the lease ran out. So one was in the Master bd the other the Guestroom. One day my friend heard EX in his room hanging out with someone. My friend goes to the bathroom and found a used condom floating in the toilet. SERIOUSLY, you couldnt throw that away in your room?!?!
Try to get out ASAP. Call a local realtor to help you find a condo for rent. They dont charge you anything (the owner pays). Also try MilitaryByOwner.com I found a great place for so much cheaper than an apt because they didnt charge pet fees.
Post # 12
Honestly it sounds like he didn’t want to fight at all so he just played nice. Now that it’s been awhile he’s full of resentment. I’m not saying he should act this way. He’s being rude and unfair to you.
You should be happy that he’s no longer in your life.
Is the place that you guys share under both of your names? If so you have an edge and tell him to just deal with it for a little while. After pulling this immature stunt you have no reason to believe that he’ll return your animals to you.
Post # 13
Tonight was pretty bad. It’s obvioud he wants me gone asap. He told me he talked to his lawyer friends about giving me two weeks to leave. I can’t wait to be out of here so I don’t have to deal with him again. Talk about completely changing 🙁 if anyone knows of anyone in the Scranton area looking for a roommate, I have two adorable cats, some fairly nice furniture, and I love to cook and clean! Haha 🙂
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2014 - Glen Sanders Mansion
@Em0038: I don’t know about landlord tenant law in PA, but in NY when there isn’t a signed lease, it is considered month to month. This means that you need to give 30 days notice from the date when the rent is normally paid. So if I pay rent on the first of the month each month, and I decide on October 15 I want to move out of my apartment, I am responsible for rent until December 1 (because it’s 30 days from when the new rent cycle starts). I would look into what the landlord tenant law is in PA for month to month leases. He cannot “evict” you without notice. Good luck finding a place, and definitely do NOT leave your pets there!