Post # 1
would you be upset if one of your (best friends of 20+ years) and you asked her to be a bridesmaid a year ago decides now a month before your wedding to get breast implants and then on top of it asked ME to take care of her for a week a month before my wedding when im sure ill be up to my ears in stuff to do for our wedding? the dress can be turned into a corset. i really don’t know how to feel about this and wondering if i’m just being silly or is she being kinda selfish. NO flaming please just some POSITIVE advice one way or the other. thank you!
Post # 3
I don’t know a lot about post-op, but it seems like she would still be very much in the healing stage with some pain a month out. Other bees – am I right? I feel like it would keep her from being able to dance/bounce around at all and thus keep her from having as much fun/celebrating as heartily with you.
I think you should turn down taking care of her, that’s definitely too much right then. Perhaps if you turn down caring for her, she will see that it’s really bad timing, and put the surgery off by a couple of months?
Post # 4
In normal circumstances i would say your being silly…but a wk before your wedding is crazy. if she doesn’t understand…then u need to spell it out in black and white. she still doesn’t understand…drop her as a friend. she’s being really selfish.
Post # 5
@HisNightOwl2014: I would tell her you won’t be able to provide the care she needs post-op due to wedding preparations, but she should be able to fully participate in your wedding if she has a month to heal!
Post # 6
I feel like a wedding shouldn’t be so involved that you couldn’t take a week to help a friend recover from surgery.
Post # 7
I think it’s a little crazy for her to ask you to take care of you that close to your wedding. I also think it’s a little crazy for you to think she would put off her own surgery and wait until after your wedding. I see both sides. I would politely tell her you can’t do the post-op, since you’ll be busy getting ready for your wedding. But, try to be supportive about her surgery. I am sure it is something she has wanted for a while, and probably had no negative intentions against you when she scheduled it.
Post # 8
I think she can do whatever she wants with her body, but asking you to care for her before your wedding is too much.
Post # 9
one month out, she’ll still most likely be swollen and maybe a little uncomfortable still. but, that being said, it’s her choice to get them and when she gets them.
i think it’s ridiculous that she thinks she can depend on you to take care of her, though. you’ll be a little distracted.
Post # 10
She can do what she wants with her body, I don’t think her life choices should revolve around your wedding, but to ask you to take care of her is crazy ridiculous when you have a wedding to stress over! She should def choose someone else to help her heal.. !
Post # 11
Agree with PP, it’s going to be so hectic for you before the wedding. She should have the foresight to understand that you’d have a lot going on. Support her emotionally but explain that you won’t be able to set aside that week. If you have a chance, pop by and check in with her. But you shouldn’t be expected to play nursemaid for her cosmetic surgery
Post # 12
If your wedding date is correct, then she’s waiting a year to get this surgery. If she wants it so badly why doesn’t she just get it now? Seems weird that she has so long to do it but waits until right before an event she already has planned.
Either way, I don’t think she or you are being selfish. You won’t have time to take care of her and she shouldn’t have to schedule her life around your wedding. Just simply tell her that you support her but you will be quite busy. Also, any alterations for her dress are on her to pay for.
Post # 13
Didn’t vote in the poll, because I agree with both options. While she can do whatever she wants with her body, and maybe 1 month prior to your wedding is what works best for her to do this, I don’t think she would be fully recovered enough to enjoy herself at a wedding (not that I have experience with the surgery). Asking you to take care of her for a week is weird. Does she think you are going to take off work or something? Cooking her an occaisional meal or bringing flowers over is one thing, but actually taking care of her for a week is an odd thing to ask of a friend. Does she not have family or an SO that can take care of her?
Post # 14
@crayfish: i did turn her down to take care of her and she acted as if i was being the selfish one ; ( and she wants it done before her 38th birthday thats her reason for getting them and not waiting till after the wedding.
Post # 15
@likewoah: WHAT??? It’s a wedding. There is so much going on those last few weeks- final details etc. Taking time to nurse someone back to health from an elective surgery is way too much to ask. I don’t understand why she is choosing to do this just weeks from your wedding. Ahole.
Post # 16
@HisNightOwl2014: Her asking you to take care of her seems silly, but surgery a month before the wedding will be fine.
I have no less than 20 friends I can name that have implants, and I think all but 2 said they were back at work and back to normal within a week. She’ll be fine with a month. No doubt in my mind. Several of my friends who got them were coworkers and went to a doctor that administered pain meds through a small pump they wore around for a few days. One girl was out bra shopping 2 days after her surger :-p