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My bridesmaids and I went dres shopping today and one of my girls brought her infant son. We were sitting in the middle of the salon when I turned around and saw my bridesmaid with her boob out, breastfeeding. It didn't necessarilly make me uncomfortable since I've seen her do it before (in her home) but I still thought it was weird that she would just "whip it out" right there in the middle of the store. It definitely made other customers (it's prom season!) uncomfortable since some actually left after seeing her. I could tell the employees weren't too thrilled about it either, but legally she can feed wherever she needs to so they couldn't do anything.
One of my other bridesmaids, who also has a new baby, couldn't believe that our other friend would breastfeed in public. I don't really how I feel about it. I mean I know the kid has to eat but society (obviously not all but some) shouldn't have to be made uncomfortable either.
In speaking with my other friend (the non-public breastfeeder) she's not comfortable with public breastfeeding and while she even has a feeding cover, she still won't do it in public. I don't have children but I can pretty much guarantee that I would never be comfortable doing this. There aren't many places I've ever been where you can't slip away and feed in privacy. The salon we were in provided ample space for her to not have do feed in public but she just chose to.
What are the thoughts of the Hive? Would you be uncomfortable seeing a woman breastfeeding in public? If you're a mom, do/did/will you breastfeed in public?
ETA: While we were in a bridal salon, there were still a handful of men in there. One guy even looked like a linebacker and stared for far too long!
It doesn't bother me at all. I'm a big believer in if the kids got to eat then whip it out. I'd much rather see a breastfeeding baby than listen to a screaming one.
Honestly, I would never whip it out myself, I'm fine with people doing it with a cover of some type though.
i don't mind if it's covered but if I see a whole boob that makes me a little uncomfortable. If you really want to show your whole boob, go to the bathroom and do it!
It doesn't bother me in the slightest (although in the interest of full disclosure, I am an NICU nurse - helping people learn to breastfeed is part of my job). Would you rather hear the baby screaming?
I actually am really annoyed by the fact that people get judged if they choose NOT to breastfeed - but if they do it they better hide it? That is bullshit.
@mwitter80: Great point! I agree.
Much rather get a boob shot, than listen to a wailing, hungry infant.
Totally fine with it - the baby has to eat! If people are uncomfortable they don't have to watch.
Although, I will add that I've seen mothers breastfeeding full-on toddlers in public (I'm talking over 2 years old, the kid could walk and talk) and that was a little strange to me. Not strange that the kid was bf-ing but that she chose to do it in public. If it's an infant you don't have much of a choice if you're not pumping, but when the kid is older? She could have easily given the kid a sippy cup of juice or something.
@MissAsB: I totally agree. My friend didn't even try to cover up. We actually suggested she cover up with his blanket and she said "would you want to eat under a blanket?". Um...
But yea, pretty much everyone could see areola.
I agree that it is uncomfortable. But I feel bad for moms who breastfeed in the bathroom :( public restrooms are so dirty. I have to admit, a lot of the time when my son was a newborn, I would go to the bathroom to do it and it was so gross. I wouldn't touch anything.
I think covers are needed of course, also to go back in a corner or a private area is more polite. I still didn't feel comfortable with a cover on in public...but maybe I was too modest? Usually I would pump before going out in public. I did feed my son in the back of the car a lot too (tinted windows).
Babies need to eat and the boob is the mechanism for that. I would never do it without a cover, but twice I've been at friends' houses and not had a cover and fed my very hungry baby anyway. When your baby is screaming hungry and your boobs are full, you could really care less about who is watching. It's a biological need for the baby and for the mama.
Really, how much boob can you see anyway? The baby's head blocks almost everything.
I'm not a breastfeeding nazi, but I really do feel like people's expectations are unreasonable.
I heard someone say that they were frustrated because they could hear a baby drinking in a restaurant (under a hooter hider) and that grossed her out. I can hear these people chewing, but that doesn't make me confront them and ask them to leave the restaurant.
This really should be a non-issue!
I'm okay with breastfeeding in public. Personally I wouldn't be comfortable being "exposed" at all while doing it.
I think beyond some women being comfortable with that, there are probably some times when the mom doesn't have anyway of covering herself.
Plus you said you were dress shopping - I'd feel more comfortable in an environment full of women and wouldn't stress about covering up as much in that situation.
If she's comfortable and her baby isn't crying then what difference does it make? Just look in a different direction. If you're in a public place there's a good chance you could be exposed to things that make you uncomfortable (offensive shirts, signage, tattoos, language) - why worry about something that is actually serving a vital purpose?
I'm ok with it and prefer it covered. I've seen people with it just hanging out feeding, and while I dont really care, I just dont think you should be flashing your boob to the world whether or not your feeding. I dont know a mother that would travel without a little burp cloth or something.. use that!
it's natural and i don't mind it. kind of a sad state of society when feeding your child means mothers are expected to stand in a bathroom or hide away somewhere to do so as if it's something to be ashamed of (not saying that's your opinion, Cait!)
@UpstateCait: I've breastfed in public and never made a show about it. 99% of people didn't even know what I was doing. It's funny that people are squeemish about it but are totally okay with seeing teens cleavage plastered all over Facebook and Victoria Secret models in bras during daytime TV and crawling all over the bed in doggy style position but can't stomach a baby eating. lol The most you ever see is the top of the skin. Just like you would in a low cut shirt. It's not like women sit there in public with their areola just out for everyone to see. Breastfed babies eat constantly. Sometimes you just have to whip it out and move on. One time a customer told me to go into the bathroom and I told her to go eat her lunch in the bathroom and she shut the hell up.
HOWEVER, I dislike women who do it in public and make a big deal about it. It's not a production. Latch on and latch off. I always wore two shirts and carried a blanket with me because I hate people walking up to me to see what I was doing.
I wonder when breastfeeding became so taboo.
@Mrs. DG:I heard someone say that they were frustrated because they could hear a baby drinking in a restaurant (under a hooter hider) and that grossed her out.
Are you kidding? Ok that's the craziest thing I've ever read.
The thing is, my friends baby was fussy but not screaming and there were multiple locations that she could have gone off to for some privacy. I feel like mothers should make a concious effort to find some privacy and if it's just not possible, then feed in public but try to cover up a little.
I'm not uncomfortable with public breastfeeding if you're covered but to be completely exposed to everyone around you, I don't think thats fair to everyone else. That salon could have lost business because some of the customers left. How is it fair to them? I'm sure if my friend would have been covered, no-one would have cared in the least.
ETA: I tweaked the title since I think this makes it seem like I'm questioning all public breastfeeding. I'm not, just when everything is exposed.
I am pro-breast feeding, but I think it is best to simply put a light shawl or blanket over your breast.
I really don't care. It's not a sexual thing, it's feeding a baby. Nothing vulgar about it.
@UpstateCait: Hmm...I really think it would have been best for her to go in a different, more private area...or at least turn her back to the people around.
I highly doubt the shop will lose business because a mother was breastfeeding her baby though. I've never left a shop because someone was breastfeeding their baby, and I don't know anyone who would.
I think that people don't always understand that some babies really don't like to be covered while feeding, one of my good friends baby was like that, if she tried to cover his face while he was feeding he ripped off the blanket, screamed, and kicked up a fuss. He wanted to be able to see his mommy while he was eating. Unless you look really closely, when a baby is properly latched, you cant see anything major.
@UpstateCait: I still don't see the difference. she was being proactive and feeding, if she had waited for the baby to start screaming would that have made it okay? I mean, they're boobs. most of the people in the bridal salon have them and if they're the guys in there, they've probably seen them. it's really not a big deal! I go back to what Mrs. DG and Miss Tattoo said - you don't even see much anyway and it's for a natural, productive reason; not some sexualized peepshow.
@UpstateCait: who cares if the salon lost business. They would have lost a lot more if they made her go somewhere else and LLL found out about it. Victoria Secrets got in BIG trouble about that a while ago and they were bombarded with a nurse in. Breasts are too sexualized in this country.Americans are the only country with such problems with public breastfeeding. If this was Sweden, no one would have even looked twice.
Also, when you breastfeed, your body knows when it's time to feed your baby. My daughter would start to whimper at feeding time and my breasts would start to leak. I never waited until she was full blown screaming. You know when your child needs to eat. I'm not a boob nazi, but I just find it funny that people think breastfeeding moms should cover up or go somewhere out of sight. When you wear two shirts and breastfeed, there is nothing to see at all.
@mwitter80: No joke... babies make noise when they drink, whether it's water or booby milk... What's the freaking difference.
@UpstateCait: I would hope that as women we are a supportive community of each others' experiences from dating to getting married to having children and raising them. I really don't think a woman should have to slink off to take care of their baby!
@elliestan: In her second comment she does say that she feels exactly that way.
"I feel like mothers should make a concious effort to find some privacy"
I'm fine with public feeding, but I'm rather modest myself, so I'd like to have a cover and I'd appreciate it if others used one as well. I know it's not a sexual use or anything, but a boob is a boob, and I'd prefer not to see them in public whether it's mine or someone else's.
I would never try to breast feed in public, but if Baby T needs to eat, then he needs to eat. I'm not about to lock myself at home to avoid breastfeeding. But I'd try to be discreet about it if I was in public. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, and I don't particularly want to flash my boobs all over town either! My SIL is making me a few nursing covers to use when I'm out and particularly while I'm in FL for my sister's wedding. I'm going to try and be very modest while I'm around her FI's family, but without missing out on all the festivities either.
It wouldn't bother me a bit to see anyone else breastfeeding in public. I am very pro-breastfeeding and think that if more people were accepting and kept negative comments to themselves, maybe more moms would persist with it.
Having had a child of my own, I would not breastfeed in public. I am not uncomfortable with someone else doing it if they use a cover. I am very uncomfortable with exposed boobage. But, that's when I just look at the floor or the ceiling. Hehe! But, it's such a touchy subject and lots of people have very strong opinions on the subject!
@elliestan: Hey yeah, come to think of it in one of the bridal salons I went to, the woman asked me to take off my bra because she said the dress would fit better. I didn't see her bat an eyelash about the boobs! I think there is a ton of boobage in bridal salons!
I personally don't like to see it. I am find with someone feeding their baby under a blanket, but just taking their boob out in public is not ok with me.
@Mrs. DG: ETA: I see you edited your PP. So, nevermind...
I was simply stating that it made a number of people in the salon uncomfortable, including my other breastfeeding bridesmaid and customers did leave after seeing it (I heard one of them talking to an employee, motioning towards us).
I don't see it as a big deal. Babies especially infants need to eat and boobs feed them. Why it has to be done under the cover of darkness or in private I don't really get. Are people getting that horny from seeing breastfeeding? Or what in the world makes people uncomfy?
Personally, I'll carry a swaddler or scarf to drape over her if we're out and about but I'm certainly not going to hide away for the first months of my babies life just because they might get hungry or scurry away from everyone to some dirty corner if the baby gets hungry. But I kinda see someones discomfort over a natural thing like that more as something they have to get over than something to be taken seriously.
I think it's considerate of others to use a cover, if possible. However, if the baby doesn't like being covered, I'd rather the mom just go ahead and feed him than slink off to the bathroom (since public restrooms are SO dirty). If there's a comfortable nursing room, I'd probably want to go there- but I can see where she wouldn't want to have to be sitting alone in a back room while everyone else gets to enjoy the shopping trip.
I feel pretty opposite of a lot of people on this thread...
I don't think it's ever appropriate to whip a boob out in public. I don't see why having a baby attached to it makes it more acceptable. If I was out in public and I saw a bare breasted woman, I would be openly offended no matter the reason.
I know not every baby would enjoy eating under a blanket, but c'mon, at least do it out of respect for others around you. There are plenty of things a person can do to make it more private.
@UpstateCait: Seriously? that WAS rude. You knew this topic was going to have some back and forth banter (which is precisely why I think you posted it to start with) so you should expect that and not get defensive when someone calls you out. Particularly someone as well known and respected on here as Mrs DG...WHO HAS A BABY, so Id say she knows what she is talking about.
Just saying, it would have been just as easy for you to post the question without the input of your personal opinion and story if you really wanted the feedback more than the drama
Again, I think we've all come to expect the controversy though. Luckily for us most manage to keep it civil
@Mrs. DG: Good point. Bridal salons are full of nakedness. At least this one was for a good reason.
@KellyV: Hmm, did you see what her PP said before she edited it? I'm assuming you didn't...
My comment was more than justified.
ETA: Also fairly certain that 99% of threads started on WB have some kind of a "story" associated with it.
Gross ... sorry but i think it's gross. It's supposed to help you bond with your baby why on earth would you want to welcome the rest of us in on that moment? we aren't privey to the things that made the baby .... also an intimate act.
@HisIrishPrincess: It's supposed to feed the baby. So it's definately not intercourse or just something done for personal gratification. Breastfed infants usually need to eat every 2 hours.
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