Post # 1
Okay, Bees, I need some feedback. I’m 22 weeks this Tuesday. Woohoo! 🙂 Things are starting to get real, if you know what I mean. I’m super stressing about the most inane things and trying to get things ready and in order and just…gaaah. :S
But, anyway, to my current dilema:
Up until today I’ve always planned to breast feed and cloth diaper. DH’s family isn’t particularly on board with these things and, while my family hasn’t been vocal one way or the other, everyone we know who has had a baby has formula fed and used disposables. Everyone thinks I’m some crunchy hippie who has to “make things difficult for herself.” It’s just really overwhelming 😐 And I’m starting to feel pressured to just save face.
But that’s not what I want, Bees. Firstly, it’s not what I want and secondly, if I backtrack there will be comments about that. I think I’m just a hormonal mess today and I was on a breast feeding forum reading threads and it just seemed like it was so hard. Like am I going to be able to go back to work if I need to and still breastfeed? I thought it would be as simple as pumping but from what I’m reading, it’s not? And the entire natural birth vs medicated birth? I just want to bash my head in thinking about that. :S
I’m going to take some deep breaths now. Advice, Bees?
Post # 3
You have to figure out what works best for YOU and for YOUR BABY. I plan to breastfeed because there are countless studies and mountains of literature on why it is better than formula. I plan to pump & bottle so I can return to work. Granted, breastfeeding is not what is best for every mother and for every baby, but I really want to give it a try. Formula exists for a reason, so just because someone can’t/won’t/doesn’t care to breastfeed, it doesn’t make her a bad mother.
My husband wants to try cloth diapers as well. I’m on board with it since he feels strongly about it. We will probably invest in some all-in-ones since you basically treat it just like a disposable, only you wash it. If one of our parents wants to watch the baby or whatever and refuses to use the cloth diapers, we will have a stash of disposables on hand as well.
As for medicated vs unmedicated birth, well… I’m aiming for a med-free birth. I realize things don’t always go according to plan, and in the event my baby is no longer safe or if my own health is at risk, then I am absolutely willing to discuss interventions. I just don’t talk about my birth plan with our parents because 1-it’s none of their business, and 2-it’s NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
You will figure out what’s best for you and for your baby, and everyone else can suck it 🙂
Post # 4
@PiggehBank: I’m also planning on breastfeeding and cloth diapering, and I’m not a crunchy, “hippie” type at all. But what attracts me to both of those things is the eventual savings on $$.
My insurance provides a good, double electric pump for free, so I do intend to pump when I return to work. So I should just have to buy bottles (which I would need for formula anyway), and maybe some nipple cream and a lactation consultant visit if I run into problems. So that’s quite a bit of savings. (I have friends who’ve told me formula can be anywhere from $100 for off-brand to $200 for specialty brands each month).
Cloth diapering is different. I am *only* considering cloth diapering because the new types are convenient. I’m going to be getting All-In-Ones, and baby poops are totally water soluble as long as the baby is breast-fed only, so when you have 3-4 dirty dipes, you just put them directly in the washer. Cloth diapering has a much bigger initial investment (the ones I like are $25 for one, if you buy new) but over a period of 2 years, it should still be anout $1000 cheaper than disposables in the long run. Finding used Cloth diapers, or having people buy them from your registry will reduce those costs a lot.
I’m not having a baby shower, so we’ll have to buy them all ourselves.
Long story short—it doesn’t really matter what your family before you has done. Do what YOU want! If it becomes too much for you, you can always switch later!
Post # 5
Learn to tell people it’s none of their business. Learn to ignore the people that tell you their opinion anyway. Becoming a parent has changed me more than anything else has, and the best example of that is I trust my decisions more. I have to with all the chatter in this world telling me something to the contrary. When it comes to raising children, there will ALWAYS be someone who disagrees with you, and sometimes its someone you thought you could trust like your pediatrician for example. You just have to make the decisions that are right for you, do your own research if you feel its necessary, and stick to your guns/guts.
Good Luck! 🙂
Post # 6
First of all, I am totally pro-breastfeeding. For a myriad of reasons, which I won’t outline since I’m already sure you’re aware of all the benefits. Honestly until a couple of years ago, I didn’t even know that anti-breastfeeders existed. It’s completely normal in my circle.
Secondly, I could never do cloth diapering. I’ve seen some baby poo volcanoes first-hand, and I just don’t think I could stand to keep/clean/reuse something that had survived that kind of explosion. But it’s YOUR BABY and if you can deal with it, go for it! More power to you. 🙂
Post # 7
Do what YOU want! Cloth diapers have come a long way, so many people don’t know that they aren’t all still prefolds and rubber pants. And while there is nothing wrong with formula, if you want to breastfeed, there is NO reason not to. None at all. There are health benefits from it, especially boosting LO’s immune system early on.
My family wasn’t on board with either really, and they got over it. They saw the cloth diapers weren’t any harder than disposables and I breastfed my son for 7 months before supplementing.
It is YOUR baby, so it is YOUR choice. I am so bad at letting other people’s comments get to me and make me second guess myself as a mom, and I would not wish that on any other mom. Every mother should feel free to make the decisions that she feels are best for her and her child.
Post # 8
Awww sweetie! I wish people would leave all of us new mommies alone sometimes! We just got back from a weekend with my in-laws and it was almost like they asked questions just so they could disagree with me! I want to do the same as you… cloth diaper, breastfeed, natural birth. And because it’s different, it’s automatically wrong! I’m not even completely against changing my mind if I find something doesn’t work for me and my baby! I’m 20 weeks and the newest problem is that we aren’t finding out the gender and the world might as well be ending. Giving in seems like the easiest thing to do but thankfully my husband completely supports our decisions and keeps me from doing anything too hormonal! Hang in there and surround yourself with friends/family who support you. They definitely help build you up and drown out all the negativity! I wish I could give you a hug!
Post # 9
Ever since DH and I started making plans for TTC, we both mutually agreed that I would breastfeed, and if possible use cloth diapers. His mother did this for both of her sons. My mom didn’t do it for me or my sister.
It’s not only because it saves money, but also because I believe it would be best for our baby. We aren’t against formula/disposables at all though!
Post # 10
@PiggehBank: also, I’ve learned *so much* about breastfeeding and cloth diapering over at Hellobee.com in the forums and in posts from the bloggers. There is a lot of really detailed information on both subjects there, as well as a really good virtual support group. It’s like wedding bee, but for mommies.
Post # 11
@PiggehBank: I’m planning to both breastfeed and cloth diaper. It’s what I think will be best for myself, my baby, and my husband. Nobody else’s opinion matters. I am reserving the right to change my mind or modify my plans at any point if we find that something just isn’t working for us…but that’s totally up to myself as baby’s mom and my husband as baby’s dad. In the meantime, I’m doing as much research and preparation as possible to try to ensure that we’ll be successful in both!
Post # 12
@PiggehBank: Also, one more thought! If you’re getting overwhelmed and stressed out just thinking about all this…maybe it’s time to take a break for a bit! You’re only 22 weeks, still have plenty of time to figure it all out and do your research before baby comes. There is so much info out there and so many different opinions, sometimes you just need to walk away and clear your head!
Post # 13
Do what you want!
I think it’s great that you are planning to do this. I am planning the same when FI and I decide to have a baby.
I also wanted to add: My SIL did cloth diapers. She also used a “baby potty”. When your baby is old enough to sit up, you can use a potty that he or she sits on and straddles. My SIL used it all the time when she was at home with baby and got into a routine. It really cuts down on washing cloth diapers. The best part is my nephew isn’t even two yet and he is practically potty trained!
Post # 14
I didn’t continue breastfeeding my baby (planning too for all of our future ones, though!) but I AM cloth diapering so I can tell you this: Once you get passed the little learning curve cloths are easy peasy!! It adds so little extra work to the day That I don’t even notice or care. And I even use the old school flats that you have to fold! I recently took a five day trip to my parent’s house with them and it was still super easy! My advice is this: Do what’s best for YOUR family, and if that is BFing and CDing, then so be it 🙂 Just tell them this is what you want to do, and that’s that.
Post # 15
I breastfed and cloth-diapered and I wasn’t a crunchy hippy – just a broke 17 year old who needed to be as wise with money as possible and wanted the best for my baby. I went back to school when she was five weeks and pumped for a full year (with a manual pump at that, because I couldn’t afford an electric pump). If you want to do it, you can, and no one should make you feel bad about the choices you make.
The thing with becoming a parent is that someone else is always going to have an opinion and is always going to think you’re doing it wrong. Take a deep breath, do the research on what you want to do, and stand by your decisions (and be okay with changing your mind if things don’t go as planned).
Post # 16
I tend to agree with do what you think is right. FWIW, I personally know a number of moms who are CD-ing and many of them breast feed as well and they’re not “crunchy”. People will always have their opinions and perhaps it’s just easier not telling people. A lot of the better preschools in our area are equipped and comfortable with deadling with CDs and mommas who supplement pumped breast milk with in-person feedings so it must be more common than one would think.
As far as medicated birth or not, that’s another choice that you can make on your own and/or with the help of medical professionals. I have a friend that had a scheduled induction and she never tells people because everyone judges her. People judge about everything and people always think they’re right. I would just do what makes you comfortable and if you think about it, there are plenty of babies born with medication, without medication, in a cave, etc. and they are fine.