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Hey, glad to see someone else from the Maritimes on the boards! :)
To answer your question, sure - it's easy to get caught up in all sorts of "what ifs" about things that could go wrong at the wedding, everybody does that. I remember nightmares I had about showing up to an undecorated reception hall, the dj not making it there or playing horrible music, whether it would rain, etc...and I had to remind myslf over and over it was pointless to worry about things I can't control.
Will people make an announcement at your wedding that will take the focus away from you? Highly doubtful. Even if some guest did make an announcement, they'd likely just get a short congrats and maybe a few minutes of attention. Your guests are there to celebrate YOUR day. Especially when it comes to noticing what other people are wearing - everyone will be too busy looking at you in your beautiful dress and how happy you and your new husband are together.
For your difficult bridesmaid, try talking to her openly about how stressed you're feeling, that you understand she's feeling stressed, and how you want to enjoy wedding planning together. Maybe she doesn't realize that she's stressing you out, and talking about it might clear the air.
RSVPs...the bane of every bride and groom's existence! The wedding is in January, so you're ahead of the game and have time left. Maybe some people aren't sure yet if they'll be able to come, and are putting off giving you an answer for that reason. This could be something family could help you with, just like you're getting your FMIL to talk to the extra-guest-inviter - they can let them know that you need final numbers for catering, etc., now. If they don't give an answer by the time you need to let the caterer know, then they're out, plain and simple, and they shouldn't be surprised if they show up and there isn't a seat for them. you'll have given them 3 chances to make sure a seat was ready for them. Having your family help you with stuff like this will take some of the stress off of you.
People assuming they can invite a +1 when they get an invite happened to us, too, even though we specified on the RSVP card how many seats for reserved! Usually this happens because people just aren't thinking - when your FMIL contacts him and explains the situation it should be okay.
For the changing the last name bit, there are some really good threads on here that talk about that - I was in a similar situation as you, and after a lot of time and effort I was able to get through to him why a name change was not just a de facto thing to cross off the to-do list but something that was really bothering me. I did end up changing my name, BUT he would have been okay with it if I had decided not to. Sometimes people strongly react to something just because they're not used to the idea of it being any other way. Bringing it up a few times for conversation after the initial rejection and letting him know how you feel about it and why it's important to you may help with that and get him to see your point of view.
Wow, what a novel - I hope that helps a bit, even just to know that other people have similar concerns as you. Hang in there! 
Thanks for your post. The RSVP card deadline is next wednesday, so there's a few days left. I think what bothers me is that people dont' care that I need to tell the hotel final numbers ASAP, so we can figure out the final details, plus it's just too expensive to oder a few extra plates "just in case" someone shows up that wasn't planning on it. We sent out STD months ago therefore people have had loads of time to decide/figure out if they can make it or not.
As for the difficult Bm, she's nto an easy person to talk to and if I brought it up she would be SUPER pissed at me!! I didn't want her in my bridal party anyways but had to out of pressure from my family, her and because I stood with her I felt that I had to have her stand with me. She's a drama queen!!
I've tried talking to FH several times about the whole name change thing but he ends up getting really angry and storms away, so I have just stopped bringing it up with him.
I also emailed two of my friends who recently got married to get their take on how I'm feeling and if they think I've lost my mind yet....
First of all - big hugs! :) I know that you are feel stressed, but try and make a list and conquer what you can. Delegate the rest (and accept the rest as things you cannot control and let them be, easier said than done... I know). As for miss BM - mention to her that you are feeling this way and that you need her help in creating as little stress as possible (mention how you feel about others 'stealing your thunder' the day of, annoucning engagements, upcoming babies, etc but don't single her out, just say in general you don't want that to happen). You should make this CRYSTAL CLEAR to her - if she doesn't respect your wishes and do her BM duties of helping you be stress-free, that says a lot about her friendship. Moving right along here - RSVPs. I'd say talk to your MOH and/or your mother and express that you need to get these either returned, confirmed, something. Split up the list of those who have not RSVP'd in any way, and call them. No messing around, no emails, strait up call them and make them accountable. That way you know who will, and will not be there (but you always have to account for those who say no and then come, and those who say yes and don't). I would suggest that you take the future uncle in law issue (FMIL's brother), into your own hands (or let your MOH or mom do it) and handle it. Don't wait for FMIL to do it, as she might wait too long or not do it at all. Only delegate to those you can trust - others will only stress you out more and dissapoint. As for FI and the last name issue. I'd suggest taking his last name and your maiden name as your middle name if that's what you want. If the last name thing 'affects his manliness' then he needs to find something else to be manly about (tell him to adopt a manly hobby or something - this REALLY isn't something that should upset him THAT much!). If you do the maiden name as a middle name, you still can have his last name and he should be happy with it. Marriage is about compromise and THAT is a compromise. If he doesn't know how to compromise, he better ask somebody and learn. My 2 cents. Hope the bridal anxiety subsides, and bon chance. :)
Bella
Thanks Bella for your words of advice/encouragement. I think I'll bring up the name issue again one more time with him and hopefully everything works out. He has lots of "manly" hobbies, so I really dont' understand the whole "manly" issue.
We're going to pick up the BM dresses this weekend so hopefully I willget the chance to make things general and "crystal clear" (as you say) about my anxiety and stress. My MOH knows all the drama that the BM has caused and has diffused a few situations for me before I told the BM "where to shove it" so to speak......
I'm hoping the FMIL will come through with getting rid of the extra person that he brother thoughthe could invite. She always doesnt' keep to her word, but I've never met the Uncle in law to be, and I don't have their number so I can't call him myself.
I'm trying to get through these emotions unscathed as possible but it's starting to wear me down....and I'm not excited as I should be either.....
You sound very stressed and over worked. I dont have much advice to offer accept delegate where you can and take some deep breaths. I feel for u and i hope everything improves greatly, many hugs!
I havent recieved a single written RSVP back yet so that may make u feel better lol Thats just the australian over relaxed mentality i think.
Hope you are ok. xoxo
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Hello Fellow Bees.....
I'm getting married in January and recently I've been expereinceing what I call "Bridal Anxiety". I feel like I'm constantly dealing with issues and thus not being able to enjoy the wedding planning expereince as I should.
My BM is bitching at me all the time about this that and the other thing and been doing nothing but causing me grief. I also have this fear that someone will make a big announcement (engagement or having a baby) at the wedding that will end up taking the focus away from us, or they will end up doing something or wearing something that will also detract from us and our big day. I have family members and friends who are like this....my BM that I mentioned before is one of them.
I'm also stressing about people not returning their RSVP cards. I sent the outstanding people friendly reminders to let them know that they need to send them in or they won't be counted as coming, I have yet to recieve any responses back from any of them.
I'm also stressing over the fact that one RSVP card came back where someone took it upon themselves to invite someone else but didn't specify who the other person was. I handed that task over to FMIL to deal with since it was her brother that decided to add the extra person, we don't have the funds to add extra people.
FI wants me to change my last name, I don't really want to, as I have a unique last name. I thought I was comprimising by stating that I would either hyphinate the last names or keep my last name but keep it as a middle name. He is totally against all of it, he wants me to take his last name because he thinks that is the right way to do it and it would somehow affect his "manliness" if I didn't.
I'm just feeling overwhelmed and stressed and I get kinda pissed off when people say "you must be getting so excited!!"., well know what I'm not!!
Has anyone else gone through these types of emotions or is currently going through these types of emotions?