Bridal Assistant?

posted 2 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
Member
39 posts
Newbee

Maybe she can  make sure the bridal party have their things together help u pick out a dress help u get ready the day of wedding?? It a lot of things should could help you out with and I do mean a lot!

Post # 3
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Make her a bridesmaid. It sounds pretty cold that you “love” her enough to want her to help you get ready etc but would rather have even sides for the bridal party than let her stand up with you. What’s more important, symmetry or treating your friend right?

Post # 4
Member
740 posts
Busy bee

My personal attendant helped with getting my dress tied and bustled. She made sure I had water to drink throughout the day. She helped carry my train for pictures before the wedding began. She also helped to round everyone up. She was one of the people I got to spend the most of my day with! It was a blast. This way the bridal party got to not have to run around and do stuff for me. My personal attendant happens to do a lot of this stuff for work so it was stressfree for her as well. 

These are very common where I am from. People I know who didn’t have one are mad that they didn’t after the wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

amelliafay:  If she wants to do it then go for it! I was going to have my cousin be mine (she probably won’t now she seems to have fallen off the face of the earth but that’s a whole other story!)

You will probably find it will be a huge weight off your shoulders to have someone helping you out who doesn’t actually have to worry about being part of the formal proceedings themselves – you can give her all your contacts etc so they can call her instead of you, but you can also have her there getting ready with you (if you want that!) – you could also ask her if she’d mind gathering everyone around for photos, helping with setting up before hand and making sure all the presents and other bits and pieces are collected at the end of the night (along with the wedding party of course!) She can also make sure your dress and train etc are looking perfect before you walk down the aisle once your bridal party have already gone etc.

If she’s offering then I think it’s a great idea (especially if she’s a good friend!) I would just get her a little gift as a thank you as you would with the wedding party! 🙂

Post # 7
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Hi, I think a Personal Assistant is a great idea. She can be in chrage of your emergency basket, help you lift your dress over your head when you have to pee. She can watch the clock for you and let you know when times are coming up for toasts cake cutting etc. she can also recall all those venders before your wedding and make sure the vendors are prepared for your big day. My Maid of Honor was overloaded with all the things she had to help me with and I feel she could not enjoy my wedding because she was always looking out for me. I wish I had a volunteer assistant at my wedding. Good Luck and follow your heart!

Post # 8
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

amelliafay:  not every Friend has to be in your wedding and yes it is cold to take advantage of that friendship and put someone to work looking after you. What do you need assisting with? Can you plan your day so that you so not need to make any of your guests work all say?

Post # 9
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

amelliafay:  maybe call her something besides personal assistant- that sounds kinda like slave- no offense- it just sounds negative. I will have a personal/bridal asst at the wedding but it comes with the venue so I’m paying for it.  Around here many venues come with one, but they are paid labor not friends. I would make her a BM and have uneven sides honestly, but if you are really that opposed and she really wants to do it then I would ask her what she wants to do and only have her do that. And you can ask we what she did in that post him get cousins wedding. That way it is 100% voluntary. For recognition, I would have her name in the program, get her a thank you gift, and mention her in a thank you speech at the wedding. 

Post # 11
Member
11722 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, I wouldn’t do this.  You hire assistants.  You hire coordinators.  Don’t ask your friend, who you claim to be close enough to that she could be a bridesmaid, to work for you on your wedding day.  Let her enjoy the day and have fun, rather than asking her to work for you, for free.

Perhaps you could ask her to do a reading to participate.  Asking her to be your servant, and to see you interacting with all the bridesmaids, could be very hurtful. 

Post # 12
Member
8025 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have a bridal assistant, but she comes with my coordinator as part of my planning package. Shes getting paid!

I will say though, that I have been an “attendant” for two friends weddings. Like the lady version of an usher and then some- I helped them get ready, handed out programs, wore a coordinated dress, was in the program, at the rehearsal dinner, and a part of the wedding party but just didnt stand up there at the alter. It didnt hurt my feelings abit, I was honored to be involved as they already had a bajillion bridesmaids I totally get not wanting a bajillion +1 more.

Maybe attendant is a better wordfor it than assistant!!

 

amelliafay:  

Post # 15
Member
11722 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

amelliafay:  I don’t really understand why you’d need someone at all.  What are you going to ask her to do?  I understand that she asked, but to me, it looks more like servitude than an honor.  As a guest, this is how I’d view anyone with the role “assistant” or “bridal attendant.” 

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